texastc

Let me know this went thru...different from most messages....hope it didnt just send it to me.

As far as the boss thing....he came in first thing with a check...not a total squaring up like I asked for, but I am giving him a little time to figure out the buying in thing...deal this size, I wouldn't expect him to have an immediate plan. I figure by this coming Friday, 2 weeks since our last 'meeting', I will press a little, just to see that he is working on it. Make sure he knows I am serious and haven't forgot or let it slide...especially since we r still not 'square'. He is a yankee...been here for 24 yrs, but still a yankee...with the inbred mentality to push it as far as possible... Rest assured, I plan to hold his feet to the fire!
You have a good week too, Deb. Keep your head up, but I know you will and do.

XX

Happy Birthday!!

Sorry for the 2 yr anniversary, but I figure you have made peace with it. I didn't know you but have since come to...and I know how you are. Realistic and always moving forward, so I know you are okay. We will always miss those gone before us, but we also find peace in knowing that they are within us and better off where they are now.
Glad you have a bestie...so very necessary/needed for sanity purposes. Hope you have a relaxing/rejuvenating Sunday. For me...IT IS THE BEGINNING OF RACING SEASON!! Been waiting since November...trudging thru these other sports...patiently waiting. College basketball is next favorite, and it is here too....best part of the season, Feb and March...but love Nascar too. Just something about going fast that tickles my fancy, imagine that.

continued..

Hi there,

Just checking in to see if the week went like you wanted with the boss.

My week was long but there's hope for the weekend. Thus week makes two years since mom died and Steve lost total function in one arm and leg. He can't move them at all and the side is very weak. My bestie came by tonight and brought Sangrias, my favorite plant which is an orchid and cheesecake. The guys went and picked up fajitas. They all said that the entire weekend would count as my birthday. Tomorrow spending day at the spa with bestie and staying the night at the loft in Fort Worth.

Have a great weekend Tc!

Hey there. How are you doing?

I have been so swamped between Steve's progression, my job and working in the back yard. Putting in a small fish pond, fire pit, raised garden and seating area. It's just my BIL doing it so every extra moment is going to it. I can't go to the lake so its coming to me. Lol

Steve is withering away. Can't use his legs, arms and is now on Bi-pap most of the day. He amazes me with his strength and positivity but I think he knows time is very limited.

I am actually doing ok right now. Just hate seeing him like he is.

what have you been up to?

Good to hear from you, Avoidance. Glad you have his brother. Understand how the not talking is. It was quiet here for a year...except for the computer voice. I also understand the not knowing...but probably best that way. Just deal with each day as it comes. Do the best you can each day...then start again tomorrow. And yes, I always tried to remember it was worse for her.

All is well with me...I have no issues, comparatively. Tracy's been gone a year and a half today. Check out my facebook page, our daughter posted a pic this morning. (Todd Faulkner)

Have a good weekend Deb. Talk to me anytime you need to.

Hi TC. We are ok. Steve is progressing as expected. I haven't been on the forum much lately. Avoidance is my new middle name. Have been traveling for work a lot. Trying to visit all my territory's before Steve gets to much worse. His brother is doing a wonderful job of taking care of him. Most of the time, I feel like the third wheel when at home. Steve doesnt talk to much anymore. Not because he can't but it does get him very winded

The not knowing what to expect or when to expect it, sucks with this disease. I am getting very tired of it all. I just try to remember that it's worse for him..

Hope all is well with you

#3. We had clinic today and it was rough. Steve's breathing is declining more rapidly then his body. The doctor took me aside and told me that it is getting close to a trache decision. I let her know that we had a DNR stating that he doesn't want one and I agree with him. His MIP is at -37 and his FVC at 36. They also recommended hospice. We left there and Steve, his brother, our dog and I went to the State park and walked around. It totally kept us from falling apart. We are still in the dark about what time he has left but have been told to prepare for everything.

Thanks so much TC for staying in touch with me. You do help me to keep my head up. Masonic gathering? That sounds interesting. So private clubs for you huh? Hope you had fun. Waco is an area I visit quite a bit due to some of the Aerospace companies there.

Safe travels home. xx

#2. I plan on letting him know that I am not lost and will be ok. He has been so sad the past couple of weeks and its all because he is worried about me as usual. He said he is afraid to leave me alone and fears I will lose my love of life.

What kind of music? Wow is that ever a loaded question. I love almost all kinds of music...with a few exceptions. I love motown, rock (old and new) and country. This trip I listened to a little bit of everything but spent a lot of time listening to Snow Patrol, Lifehouse, Stevie Nicks, Eagles and Van Morrison. Added in some Johnny Cash and Garth Brooks for good measure. It was just that kind of trip. I also danced a little to some Motown. lol.

# 1 Let me try this again. My messages keep disappearing before sending.

tc, you are not bad. You are doing what Tracy would want you to do. Like you, I believe that they want us to move on and live life. ALS has taken enough and breaks our hearts. It should not be allowed to break our spirit. I am happy that you are doing well. I honestly thought you might have thought about staying off this forum. Not that I would blame you but would miss the honest conversations with you.

As for me, I am ok. The time away gave me a lot of time to think and review the past, present and future. I know that I need to find the woman Steve fell in love with. He was so smitten with my sense of humor, independence, love of adventure and most of all my strength. He deserves to know that ALS didn't steal that from us. He has never liked seeing me sad or angry and could never go to sleep without me putting a smile on my face.

Tc, just stopping by to say hi and to see how you are doing.

Its been a long couple of weeks for us. I did get to spend a lot of time driving by water and in the trees. Think most of my travel to my calls was in the National Forest in Arkansas. I was in the car for over 24 hours while there for work. The Ozarks were nice but a lot of time to think. I listened to a lot of music. Helped to clear my head.

How are things going with you?

I have encountered numerous victims of ALS who when properly tested are positive for Lyme Disease.
Lyme Disease is an infection and can be treated with antibiotics.
Every ALS patient should be properly tested.
Alfred Miller,M.D. (retired - not soliciting new patients)
[email protected]

Hi TC. You came across my mind today. Just checking in to see how you are doing I know the holidays are sometimes very rough. Hope you are doing ok. I am normally a huge Christmas fan and go all out with decorations and all the holiday fuss but this year is different. I didn't even put uo a tree. Steve and I used to do it together. It was something he did for me as he didn't actually even care. My mother so loved Christmas and passed that trait down. My kids came up for Thanksgiving so won't be here for Christmas. I just want this one to go by. Anyways, hope all is well with you.

Thanks TC. Talking to someone who understands and is finding their way has helped me so much. Steve is now on his bi-pap a lot so conversation is out the door. The past few days have been very tough. I hate Clinic. Steve doesn't like going either but we both feel its important and his brother who now lives with us, also attends. Everyone is so nice and helpful.

TC, Sorry for the novel tonight but I do feel better. Right now, the forum is very sad with so many losses and I know you have had yours. We are all very lucky that you are still able to logon here. You truly are a caring and wise soul. Tracy also contributed the same caring and wonderful attitude.

#2. I agree with you regarding any committed relationship. I am not sure I can ever go thru this pain again. I also think it would be very hard to ever find anyone who could put up with my independence, need to travel and enjoy every moment I have left.

Steve has always been behind anything I have decided to do. He is the total opposite of me...does not like to travel and certainly does not have my fearless side. He always worries but has never tried to stop me. He just lets me be me.

My bestie has decided that she must have a relationship and watching this has been comical but at times downright insane. Not for me. I will live my life and if someone comes along that I like spending time with then that will be good for me. Steve has told me so many times that he wants me to enjoy my life and do all the things I have wanted to do. First thing on my list is hiking the Camino de Santiago before I am to old. I will bring him with me and I know he will be so proud.