Recent content by peacecomesfromwithin

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    Grief

    Thanks for sharing, everyone. It will be 2 years since I lost my mom on 10/21. Six months after I lost her, I moved to West Africa to start a really hard job. Big surprise, about a year in a got slammed by some pretty serious depression. This job is so hard and the country is super isolating...
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    Time to reflect

    I see myself in all of you. Three months on, and it feels almost like it was yesterday that my mom passed. We were so close - although now, with time to reflect, the real closeness started to fade when she got sick and things got so hard. I'm really starting to grieve for the loss of her before...
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    Mom passed last night...

    I'm so sorry for your loss, Gil. You must also feel relieved. Now, a new chapter begins. It's been three months since my mom passed and it feels like yesterday.
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    Thea (Peace's mom)

    It's been 10 days and it's finally starting to sink in. I'm looking through old photos and starting to really remember her before the ALS. I miss her so much - the days ahead, alone, feel impossible. I know that day by day is the only way to do it, but even each day feels like a mountain to climb.
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    Thea (Peace's mom)

    Thank you all for your kind words and for your support throughout. You are all amazing, strong, compassionate people. You have helped me more than you know.
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    Thea (Peace's mom)

    Well, it's happened. Thea Greenhalgh, the best mother ever, beloved sister, aunt, cousin, and friend, passed away peacefully this morning at 8:12. After fighting hard for the past several days and finally moving her to hospice last night, this morning she had very poor vitals. They couldn't even...
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    a turn for the worse

    We are moving her to in-patient hospice today, away from the hospital. We are planning to stop fluids and antibiotics. They said it can cause edema and other issues as the body stops being able to process fluids and formula. And yet, because she has had limb onset, her diaphragm is kind of the...
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    a turn for the worse

    She is being given nutrition and fluids and antibiotics still. One of the doctors mentioned that at some point I should think about whether I want to discontinue those as well. I wasn't sure at the time. Watching this drawn out suffering makes me think that we should? I feel like I am actively...
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    a turn for the worse

    What a crazy time. Had a long meeting with the palliative care team yesterday and determined that we don't want her to be on the BiPAP 24/7 because it is against her advance directive. But finding the right combination and amount of meds to keep her comfortable just on O2 has been quite a...
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    Helpless

    My mom is in a similar stage right now. I keep wondering the same things.
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    a turn for the worse

    Thanks all for your good vibes. I reread my post and couldn't help but think what a spoiled bourgeois jerk I am, complaining about my travels and my fancy schools and how I have to give them up to come and take care of my mom. I feel such a tension between all of that fancy stuff I've worked...
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    a turn for the worse

    taking a turn for the worse. Just tried to pour my heart out with a long thread and it got lost in the ether. Mom has taken a turn for the worse and is in a lot of pain. Pneumonia, appendicitis, UTI. Can't breathe without BiPAP. Can't tolerate it without pain meds. Was told to come home from...
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    a turn for the worse

    Everything seemed to be going okay with the PEG. Then, the day before I was supposed to fly to Niger for work for a week, then Paris for a day, then MIT for a week of training, she had a little fall. She was able to get herself up somehow, crawling to the living room and hoisting herself up with...
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    the PEG and the pain and the right thing to do

    Tillie and all - today was not a good day. I woke up this morning after a much needed night out dancing with friends and boyfriend and went to go give mom her formula. In my half-dazed state, i could see that she wasn't feeling well. She said that she's still in pain, more than expected, and...
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    the PEG and the pain and the right thing to do

    We finally got discharged from the hospital last night and are home and settled! The nurse just came by and I did my first tube feeding for my mom (she can still eat on her own). It was strange, but manageable. She is in much less pain, thank goodness. I stressed myself out enough that I've...
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