billsmith

p8 I went home turned on the computer and started trying to figure out how to spell the words I thought I remembered him using. I don't have to say any more. Because you all have probably done a lot more looking than I have had time to so far. I am what I like to call an optimistic realist. I told my wife not to look anything up and worry herself. I can do that myself, thank you. After an hour I could see that I did have some symptoms. After three days I realized I had been turning off the recognition that I had been feeling what I now knew to call a fasciculation all over my body for much longer than I allowed myself to be thinking about. More denial. Ok if you are still reading I better make a point because it would be hard to read this far and remain awake.

p7 So I keep asking questions and he hums and hahs for a while, while dropping little buzz words I was not familiar with ( which I googled when I got home especially polyphasic) like Horne cell, AL something, neuro degradation. denervation, reinervation...I am sure you all get the picture. Finally after hinting around for a little longer. He mentions that he is an expert in ALS and that I have symptoms and now electrical data to indicate the seeming strong possibility I might have ALS. Ok so tell me what that is. He did not go into much detail. I had what I needed or didn't need. I got a promise of a consult to be scheduled and they would call me. Also a promise of maybe having a muscle biopsy and spinal tap, maybe being the operative word.

p6 He tells his nurse, like I am not right there. Schedule a consult for this guy I need more time to check him more thoroughly then the appointment allows for. The person who scheduled it wasn't good enough to tell what was going on here and this patient should have had a longer appointment scheduled. This guy is so smart that he has a hard time tolerating those of us less intelligent. Well I guess bedside manner comes second to someone who might know what they are doing.art 5 There is another one - yes a polyphasic fasciculation. How long has this been happening. OK Now I am sitting half way up looking at my calf seeing some creeping skin movement, which I have noted before but.............once again denial enters in - yes I didn't like looking at them so I didn't.. To save time in the story: 15 minutes later he had detected these fasciculations in both legs both arms, maybe on my back and said he some in my tongue but did not stick a needle in there to get a reading.

There is another one - yes a polyphasic fasciculation. How long has this been happening. OK Now I am sitting half way up looking at my calf seeing some creeping skin movement, which I have noted before but.............once again denial enters in - yes I didn't like looking at them so I didn't.. To save time in the story: 15 minutes later he had detected these fasciculations in both legs both arms, maybe on my back and said he some in my tongue but did not stick a needle in there to get a reading.

part 4 Ok, sorry for being long winded, but in case I run out of typing skills I better get the past out of the way right now. So I am lying on my back in the doc’s office. He is typing into his little laptop with sound effects. I am getting minor electrical tingles. He asks me if I have diabetes. No why do you ask, is there a problem with what you see like some kind of nuropathy ( I am enginer I cant spel). He doesn't answer. Next we do the tiny needles and funny sounds from the laptop. Then he asks how long you have had these twitches in your calf. I don't know - maybe ah 6 months to a year. I thought that was just from bad posture pinching a nerve somewhere. No response on his part.
There is another fasic. What is a fasic. He turns the laptop screen toward me and shows me a blip on his little scope. Ok I'm an engineer, a civil engineer, I have seen little blips be earthquakes, heartbeats, sun spots, this means nothing to me - I am the patient you are the doctor.

I considered weather I wanted to borrow $5500 for equipment and lessons, for a minute. I looked at some paragliding videos - found one with a guy taking off in a wheel chair and thought to myself "ok I won’t be wasting my money as long as I learn to fly before my leg gets worse” so I borrowed the cash paid for all equipment and lessons up front so I would be unlikely to chicken out - even though I did not think that was likely.So going to get the EMG test done was cutting into my time for training and because I had been getting a bit more exercise I deduced, with my keen intellect, and always trying to practice my lay self-healing, that I was dropping my foot as a result of physical inactivity. So I came very close to not getting the EMG..........

part 2
I had not known the difference between MMN/PLS/ALS/PMS or many other health related acronyms.That was about 2 weeks ago. Then I went for an EMG. My doctor is quite a character. I like that he says what is on his mind. I almost didn't go for the test. I had symptoms of drop foot that came on slowly, which I ignored for 3-4 months. Until I got out of my chair at work and tripped over my own feet. Both legs felt numb I kept trying to walk down the hall - I am strong on denial. Finally someone asked why I was holding up the wall. ....... My wife came to pick me up. Doctor took some x-rays. I felt better and went back to work. Both legs were affected for less than a week then only one. Then an MRI because the x-ray showed nothing. Then the MRI came back negative so my good doctor sent me for an EMG... In the time it took to schedule that I had TAKEN UP PARAGLIDING CLASSES. I was busy adapting to walking funny and trying not to let it interfere with my enjoyment of life.

part 1
Thank you all for being here, now. Like everyone I am waiting to find out what condition my condition is in. Like most of you I plan on trusting in my faith to handle whatever ends up on my plate. I have always handled what is on my plate better than waiting to find out what is on my plate, especially when the answer is "I am not going to know until I get it. OK, I guess the illusion of my youth - the one that tells me I'm going to live forever had to get quashed. It was more or less a form of strong denial shared by most of us on the planet until faced with some reality. It makes for a comfortable feeling to never think about not being here. I have always thought it strange that in a world where lives come into being and then back out of being that we would tend to live like it wasn't going to happen. Why does that make us uncomfortable? Well I haven't figured it out before this so I will just leave that for someone smarter than me.