hobbit32
New member
- Joined
- Feb 19, 2009
- Messages
- 1
- Reason
- Loved one DX
- Country
- ma
- State
- ma
- City
- winthrop
February 18, 2009 @ 10:24 pm my Mom had passed away. She has had ALS for 3 years before suddenly things accelerated rapidly. As I write this in memory of her, tears run down my face - what a brave women she was. Not the loss of her legs, voice or difficulty breathing ever caused her to complain. Instead she worried about her 4 kids and gave praise and advice in preparation of her death. She made amends for the anger that we may have had towards her, knowing in her heart that she could not let go unless we could. I know that she is watching me because the radio just played her two top songs she used to play all the time. I believe that she is in a better place and not suffering anymore. It will kill me to see my mother sitting on her lazy boy chair which became her home , head tilted to the left because of her muscles not responding. BUT when I would walk in to visit her, the smile she showed lit the world up. Imagine not a complaint or concern other than for her kids and our well being. She would cry in spurts because she suffered humiliation from not being able to wipe herself and not knowing when she was urinating. I would cry when I left her for the pain I felt for her suffering was unbearable.
She had contracted a lung infection and was rushed to the hospital because she had difficulty breathing. Before I got to see her , she had notified her doctor not to recessatate her and take the breathing tube which helped her live out. When I got there she was on a Morphine drip and felt no pain. She never regained consciousness and passed away quietly. She had requested that I be there when she passed and I promised her I would. I did not know it would be 2 days later. I held my Mom's hand for 6 hours, kissed her face and talked to her while she slipped away. I am elated to have kept my word and grateful for sending her off to a much better place. I believe she was tired of suffering and wanted to rest eternally in heaven. If I was there I would of selfishly convinced her to keep the breathing tube in so I would not lose my mom. I think she knew that and made the decision. I am proud of her strength and courage. I never got to say goodbye yesterday. I still do not believe my mom is gone and I miss her so. Grateful I am that she suffers no more, sad as hell that I cannot talk to her and see her smile or be comforted in times of confusion and sadness.
This is an awful disease one only the brave can bare. I have a deeper appreciation for what my mother was by how she quietly fought this disease. She is my heaven, my light, my strength, my warmth , my happiness, my optimism, my hope and my prayer. She taught me how to love unselfishly and to see the good in all things. In short, she was a gift from God for the all the hearts she touched and guided. I love you Mom . Rest now and be at peace.
Your son.. chuck
She had contracted a lung infection and was rushed to the hospital because she had difficulty breathing. Before I got to see her , she had notified her doctor not to recessatate her and take the breathing tube which helped her live out. When I got there she was on a Morphine drip and felt no pain. She never regained consciousness and passed away quietly. She had requested that I be there when she passed and I promised her I would. I did not know it would be 2 days later. I held my Mom's hand for 6 hours, kissed her face and talked to her while she slipped away. I am elated to have kept my word and grateful for sending her off to a much better place. I believe she was tired of suffering and wanted to rest eternally in heaven. If I was there I would of selfishly convinced her to keep the breathing tube in so I would not lose my mom. I think she knew that and made the decision. I am proud of her strength and courage. I never got to say goodbye yesterday. I still do not believe my mom is gone and I miss her so. Grateful I am that she suffers no more, sad as hell that I cannot talk to her and see her smile or be comforted in times of confusion and sadness.
This is an awful disease one only the brave can bare. I have a deeper appreciation for what my mother was by how she quietly fought this disease. She is my heaven, my light, my strength, my warmth , my happiness, my optimism, my hope and my prayer. She taught me how to love unselfishly and to see the good in all things. In short, she was a gift from God for the all the hearts she touched and guided. I love you Mom . Rest now and be at peace.
Your son.. chuck