Moira
New member
- Joined
- Jul 27, 2018
- Messages
- 1
- Reason
- DX MND
- Diagnosis
- 11/2017
- Country
- UK
- State
- europe
- City
- europe
Hi. Lately (few months) I have been feeling depressed and anxious.
I am afraid of dying. Not the dying itself, but the existential questions around it.
Was my life useful? Have I been inspirational, funny, social, intelligent...good enough? Will the not forget me?
I keep getting stressed, like I need to do something, now, before I die. Write a book, vlog, make a lot of pictures of myself, be inspirational, be better.
I am so scared of not having made a big enough impact, and terrified of being forgotten. I already started a diary with the main reason so my lovedones have something to remember me by and not forget me. However everytime I write something in it, it makes me even more sad.
I have no children, I got sick (progressive neurodegenrative)
when I was 21 and single and I am 31 now. It’s only rational to believe I won’t reach 40, because after some stable years, things just get worse. Vpap needs adjustments, stuff like that. I already am older than I thought I would become tbh.
It is up to this point, it preoccupies my mind, and besides that I am scared it will keep me from enjoying what I have left. I am too stressed about doing something good before I go, and that on itself makes me stressed too. Because I need to ‘hurry’.
I keep stressed and crying...
I just want to know if anyone else recognises this... especially the feeling and thoughts not being intersting / afraid people will forget me.
I am afraid of dying. Not the dying itself, but the existential questions around it.
Was my life useful? Have I been inspirational, funny, social, intelligent...good enough? Will the not forget me?
I keep getting stressed, like I need to do something, now, before I die. Write a book, vlog, make a lot of pictures of myself, be inspirational, be better.
I am so scared of not having made a big enough impact, and terrified of being forgotten. I already started a diary with the main reason so my lovedones have something to remember me by and not forget me. However everytime I write something in it, it makes me even more sad.
I have no children, I got sick (progressive neurodegenrative)
when I was 21 and single and I am 31 now. It’s only rational to believe I won’t reach 40, because after some stable years, things just get worse. Vpap needs adjustments, stuff like that. I already am older than I thought I would become tbh.
It is up to this point, it preoccupies my mind, and besides that I am scared it will keep me from enjoying what I have left. I am too stressed about doing something good before I go, and that on itself makes me stressed too. Because I need to ‘hurry’.
I keep stressed and crying...
I just want to know if anyone else recognises this... especially the feeling and thoughts not being intersting / afraid people will forget me.