Jellycat
Distinguished member
- Joined
- Jul 3, 2010
- Messages
- 443
- Reason
- Lost a loved one
- Country
- IRL
- State
- Dublin
- City
- Dublin
Small rant/muse coming up.
I have just dropped my mum off to play bridge this morning. I think she is amazing to be playing as she cannot speak to bid or hold the cards. But with use of various devices and a caring bridge partner she has a fab time. Her mind is spry & she's usually on the winning team. Better than any medicine.
So today we turn up. As we're going in we meet one of the committee members who hasn't seen mum since her walking talking days. When I leave he asks me 'what happened to her?' so I explain about motor neuron disease to which he responds 'I believe in euthanasia'. As the chat goes on I realise he thinks looking at my mum that the time has come to end it all.
Yes this disease is aweful & this is a long way from being the best time of our lives but I know mum has good quality of life. She has learned to live within a new set of limitations while pushing it as far as she can. Sure there are lots of sacrifices for both of us but life is changed not ended.
I'm glad my conversation partner doesn't get to decide when mums time is up. Makes me think about all those pleadings I've done with God about sparing her pain & increasing disability. Who says I know any better either? I still don't want pain & lengthy misery for her but increasingly I'm seeing that my only way of living this in serenity is by surrender. Leaning into the belief that God knows when her number is up (&mine for that matter) not me or anyone else.
I have just dropped my mum off to play bridge this morning. I think she is amazing to be playing as she cannot speak to bid or hold the cards. But with use of various devices and a caring bridge partner she has a fab time. Her mind is spry & she's usually on the winning team. Better than any medicine.
So today we turn up. As we're going in we meet one of the committee members who hasn't seen mum since her walking talking days. When I leave he asks me 'what happened to her?' so I explain about motor neuron disease to which he responds 'I believe in euthanasia'. As the chat goes on I realise he thinks looking at my mum that the time has come to end it all.
Yes this disease is aweful & this is a long way from being the best time of our lives but I know mum has good quality of life. She has learned to live within a new set of limitations while pushing it as far as she can. Sure there are lots of sacrifices for both of us but life is changed not ended.
I'm glad my conversation partner doesn't get to decide when mums time is up. Makes me think about all those pleadings I've done with God about sparing her pain & increasing disability. Who says I know any better either? I still don't want pain & lengthy misery for her but increasingly I'm seeing that my only way of living this in serenity is by surrender. Leaning into the belief that God knows when her number is up (&mine for that matter) not me or anyone else.