Barbie's blog

Marriage and Other Changes

:sad:Let us talk about marriage. I have been married to my husband for a long time--we have been together since 1982. I can hardly believe it especially since I am only a young woman still. LOL. But seriously, the change in my marriage since ALS came along is one of the saddest things to me. Before ALS, I would say we were extremely happy--very much in love and no serious problems. we had a division of labor that worked very well for us, similar goals and dreams and plans. We were best friends. Then ALS came a-knocking at the door.

things I hate when people say them

I hate when people say 'I don't know how you do it'. I want to slap them--what choice is there? who could do less for someone they love? what kind of cold heart could turn their back on anyone, especially someone near and dear in their time of greatest need. I always reply to that stupid statement with the same response--'you would do the same'. But would they? I don't believe in the saying that god only gives us what we can handle, and I don't believe in karma either. It is what it is, and I do what I must.

wallowing today

Today was a beautiful spring day--and I was miserable. I guess I was having a major pity party and I just could not help it. I am so sick of my life and I feel so guilty and petty for feeling that way. I could not wait to get out of the house today and get away from my husband and taking care of him and ALS. I was mad because I was only leaving the house to go grocery shopping and it was soo soo nice out. I was crying because I wanted to go to the beach or on a picnic or to the tiki bar.