Points on Pointing

[arkallen]

I feel confident that St Matthew had my Pointing Gadget in mind when he spake thus:

Let your ‘Yes’ be Yes, and your ‘No’ be No;
anything beyond this comes from the evil one.
​

The “anything” he mentioned, the emanation of Sheol, was without a doubt the tiny word “or”. How could an innocuous grammatical conjunction have its genesis in Hell? Let me demonstrate…

“Shall I boil the kettle?” asks my Favourite Wife.
‘Beep’ I reply (One for Yes, Two for No).
“Anything to eat”? she thoughtfully adds.
‘Beep Beep’
“Tea or Coffee?” (OR!)
‘Beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep! Beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep! Beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep!’

That tiny word ‘OR’, the damnable conjunction, has troubled many a simple exchange in Paradise! It takes a degree of skill and discipline on the part of the questioner to phrase everything in a strictly Yes/No format. It’s slow going, and requires a calm objectivity sometimes elusive in domestic dealings; but as long as ‘OR’ is avoided, almost anything can be conveyed.

The Pointing Gadget has become an intrinsic part of our new language. It cuts through the confusion of impromptu hand signals that inevitably arises in non-verbal communication. It is much simpler to use a hand-held pointer to pinpoint a specific item than it is to wave in a general direction. The built in buzzer is useful for attracting attention, and for communicating further about an item or topic of discussion.

The pointer is especially valuable when dressing, when asking for food or drink, or when something is just out of reach. The Pointing Gadget is invaluable in the car where typing onto a computer screen is probably not the wisest notion, and background noise prohibits any whispering. It is also very effective in a manual chair when lip-reading is not an available option. No eye contact is required with the person pushing, which is ideal, and it works extremely well to indicate where I would like to be pushed: Left here, now right, and so on.

With a bit of practice a certain nuance develops, giving shades of meaning to each Beep. For example a single “Yes” beep can just as easily mean “Thank you”. Three Beeps means “What?”, or any other contextually appropriate question. The act of reaching for the pointer says “I am about to ask for something”, smoothing the way to the request itself. Using the pointer to say “could I have such and such please” seems somehow more polite than other gestures, and infinitely more accurate.



‘Beep’ (attract some attention).
“Oh, would you like a cup of tea dear?” says my Favourite Wife.
‘Beep’.
Job’s right!

For the technically minded (hoping that a reader might want to make one for someone else in a non-verbal situation) the materials are a short block of 1” square pine, a telescopic blackboard pointer (about $10), a buzzer, spring loaded button and battery holder (under $8 from an electronics shop), a wrist-strap and a hook. I have also added similar ‘Beepers’ to a couple of chairs.


And the Pointing Gadget does a fair job as a child-tickler as well, if you happen to have a Little One around!
Rejoice!

 

[brooksea]

Pretty cool, Roderick, if you have use of your hands! Does it taser? (sorry, just funnin')

 

[arkallen]

A Taser! For when people say "Or". What an excellent thought.

 

[BarryG]

How about using a laser pointer? I keep one handy so that I can point out what I want anywhere in the room and it also amuses the cat. The buzzer is a great idea and I sure know what you mean by "or", I just dont answer until it's a yes or no question.

 

[arkallen]

Ive wondered if a laser pointer would be useful or not; I'm interested that you are using one Bary. So now we need a Taser and a Laser in the next model...