Old 12-01-2012, 11:06 AM #211 (permalink)
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Default Re: Happiness now

JAYNE, WHAT YOU HAVE LEARNED IS TO FACE THE CHALLENGES AND TO LOVE THEM. IT IS ALL A LEARNING EXPERIENCE. EVEN SNOW CRYSTALS ARE NEVER THE SAME Every piece of the universe, even the tiniest little snow crystal, matters somehow. I have a place in the pattern, and so do you…Thinking of you…......

See the beauty within yourself and others. Each of you is a flower that can bloom, bloss-oooommmmm and grow Take the time to nurture and love ♥ yourself as this will give you the strength and desire to take each step and make it meaningful. There is great love here for you or you would not have chosen this experience. Make the best of each day and know that as you do there is more that awaits you when you awake tomorrow.

Affirmation: "I am safe amidst the constant change and trust that new and better situations and opportunities are coming my way."

"Happiness is permanent. It is always there. What comes and goes is unhappiness.
If you identify with what comes and goes, you will be unhappy. If you identify with what is permanent and always there, you are happiness itself.” ♥

A leader is not one who says, "Follow me." A leader is

one who says, "I'll go first." You've been given a vote

of confidence by Heaven! Are you ready to lead,

here on earth?

You've been saying for a long time that you wished to

serve. You elected yourself. So celebrate this grand

moment, and now, take office! And by your good

offices, may your world be served.

~Neale Donald Walsch


It is when we think we can act like God, that all respect is lost, and I think this is the downfall of peace. We lie if we say we do not see color and culture and difference. We fool ourselves and cheat ourselves when we say that all of us are the same. We should not want to be the same as others and we should not want others to be the same as us. Rather, we ought to glory and shine in all of our differences, flaunting them fabulously for all to see! It is never a conformity that we need! We need not to conform! What we need is to burst out into all these beautiful colors!

~~C. JoyBell C.

Be generous in prosperity, and thankful in adversity.

Be fair in your judgment, and guarded in your speech.

Be a lamp unto those who walk in darkness, and a home to the stranger.


Be eyes to the blind, and a guiding light unto the feet of the erring.

Be a breath of life to the body of humankind,

A dew to the soil of the human heart,

And a fruit upon the tree of humility ♥

☮ ❤ ☼
When you do things from your soul,
you feel a river moving in you, a joy.

_( ♥ )_ Rumi

knows that hope ends when you stop believing, friendship ends when you stop sharing, love ends when you stop caring, and life ends when you stop dreaming.~unknown

If we have no peace,
it is because we have forgotten
that we belong to each other.

~~Mother Teresa


What we have once enjoyed we can never lose.
All that we love deeply becomes a part of us.

~~Helen Keller~

It happens so suddenly. We are going about our own mundane tasks when - a phrase of music, a shaft of sunlight on a snowy roof, a handful of yellow butterflies, or the arc of a bird diving to the earth, pierces us. For one brief moment, we are lifted out of our daily routine into the untold realms of light and beauty. Then the moment is gone. We are back on Earth - but we are not the same.

~~Unknown

“Everybody can be great...because anybody can serve.
You don't have to have a college degree to serve.
You don't have to make your subject and verb agree to serve.
You only need a heart full of grace. A soul generated by Love.”

_( ♥ )_ Martin Luther King Jr.
________________________________________ _______
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Old 12-02-2012, 06:49 AM #212 (permalink)
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Default Re: Happiness now

Thank you for the metaphor of the snow crystal....I love that thought, we all are unique and
we all have our place. I love your affirmation Sharon and the wisdom of happiness being there
always, and your eye for combining writings...they amplify each other so beautifully!

I think of these words throughout my day, like a tuning fork to reset my thoughts. I once read
a wonderful book: The Hidden Messages in Water by Emoto...he froze water crystals in this very
elaborate process, just as he said loving words into them (and some not) and the photos are so
telling. If we are mostly water, we do the same with our thoughts.....

The holidays have been a time where I have too often compared myself to others...it just doesn't serve me
or anyone to do that. Today I will serve...I LOVE that message. That is what I need and already feel
lighter just thinking....how may I serve? To be in the flow as Rumi says....that is so inspiring!

Thank you for your light dear Sharon.....you are such a leader and shine a brilliant light!
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Old 12-02-2012, 11:30 AM #213 (permalink)
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JAYNE, YOU ARE SUCH A LIGHT FROM HEAVEN. YOU ARE RIGHT, COMPARING YOURSELF TO OTHERS IS THE WRONG PATH TO TAKE...ACCEPT YOURSELF AS COMING FROM GOD, YOU ARE GOD'S LOVE IN THE WORLD! Today, expressing gratitude for All that Is ~ even the things I would rather not experience, because with divine intervention, they are all teaching me inner Peace.♥ ♥ ♥



♥ ♥ "Silence is the language of God. All else is a poor translation." ~ Rumi

Feel the peace that dwells within you!
Find that point of bliss where you hear the Beautiful sound of of silence. Find this peace, for it is from this energy you will find a pathway to so much more than you ever thought possible. You can then see all the rightness in your world where you previously saw lack. See love where there was hate and see empowerment where you previously saw oppression~ unknown

Do not be afraid of change or cling to
a false sense of safety.
For life is perpetual change and you are strong
and buoyant and can ride the wave.

Believe in your own buoyancy which does not
need to force things
but can allow them JUST
to be.


She stood in the storm ....and when the wind did not blow her away she adjusted her sails ((( ♥ )))
~Elizabeth Edwards

"Just as millions of snowflakes pile up to create a blanket of snow, the 'thank you's' we say pile up and fall gently upon one another until, in our hearts and minds, we are adrift in gratitude." - Daphne Rose Kingman

It's not too late... the angel said.
Even though the world's a mess...
Even though you're not as young...
Even though you've made mistakes and have been afraid
It's not too late...
And then I saw the world through the angels' eyes...
I saw the colors I could paint
The bridges I could build
The lives that I could touch
The dreams that could still come true
And it became very clear to me...
That it's not too late.

~~Ron Atchison

We fail to become aware of the gift of today..... because we are either still living in the past or yearning for the future. ((( ♥ )))~unknown


"Say to yourself: "There is nothing within me that denies my good. There is nothing within me that denies my prosperity. There is nothing within me that denies me the right job. There is nothing within me that denies me love and companionship. There is nothing within me but the wonderful realization of my oneness with Infinite Intelligence, the source of all supply of every kind and description." What is inside of us is what counts, not what appears on the outside to be causing us unhappiness or problems. Because our nature seems to get us off track now and then, we must constantly be aware that the universe is on our side. There is nothing in the whole universe against us. We are one with it. ... Say: "I affirm my oneness with life today. Turning my attention away from problems, I keep in alignment with my Source, from which my every need is met." - Dr. ~Frank E. Richelieu, The Art Of Being Yourself
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Old 12-03-2012, 05:02 AM #214 (permalink)
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Default Re: Happiness now

Thank you so much for the support Sharon! The writings today again seem exactly what I
need. So much wisdom about finding peace in the midst of storms. When I read these words
I believe in their possibilities.

You have introduced me to Rumi and I just love the feel and depth of his words. I spent
the last few days "trying too hard" to get an answer and I see now that I was forcing
things. His words about silence are so soothing.

I see too that guidance comes when I give my questions over to God and let go. That is
where the trust comes in; trust that there is an answer. I love those words that affirm
that "there is nothing in me that denies my good" and turning away from thinking
about problems and aligning with Source.

I so appreciate this...I choose to trust and not go into old patterns of worry. I feel lighter
reading these words and writing my commitment to living them. The writings are always
perfect for me....God bless you!
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Old 12-03-2012, 12:10 PM #215 (permalink)
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Default Re: Happiness now

JAYNE, LETTING GO INTO GOD IS THE CONTEMPLATIVE PATH....I WALK THIS PATH WITH ALS!

When your mind, your heart and your body are all present, which is always a gift, that full presence is prayer. At that moment God is able to use you, because you are out of the way and God is leading the way.
~Richard Rhor

Perhaps the most "spiritual" thing any of us can do is simply to look through our own eyes, see with eyes of wholeness, and act with integrity and kindness.

~~Jon KabatZinn

Live simply.
Love generously.
Care deeply.
Speak kindly.

~~Unknown

We cannot tell the precise moment when friendship formed. As in filling a vessel drop by drop, there is at last a drop which makes it run over; so in a series of kindness there is at last one which makes the heart run over.

~~Dr. Samuel Johnson

I trust so much in the power of the heart and the soul; I know that the answer to what we need to do next is in our own hearts. All we have to do is listen, then take that one step further and trust what we hear. We will be taught what we need to learn.

~~ Melody Beattie

“The best part of life is not just surviving, but thriving with passion and compassion and humor and style and generosity and kindness.”

~~Maya Angelou

When you temper your knowledge with wisdom, you are living in your truth and will have more confidence in the journey ahead as you understand it is of your own making. Let your truth be the foundation of all that you do and be your guiding light.
Affirmation: "I am clearing, cleansing and expanding my light allowing me to absorb key information and understanding of my life and my purpose right here right now."

The heart is like a garden. It can grow compassion or fear, resentment or love. What seed would you plant in it?"


"There is a prayer that asks for things and a prayer that asks for thoughts, and there is a prayer that asks for nothing but gives all. I have prayed for many things. I have cried aloud for help; I have wheedled and bargained and demanded - but what have I ever really prayed for except to know that I am a child of God? I have seen the beautiful bird of Truth fly overhead and would hold it in my heart. ... I would know God and understand my relation to Him, and I would know Him and know myself, not with an intellectual knowing, but in every fiber of my mind and heart. And this is why I pray. ... For this is a knowing that does not come from study, but only from prayer. There are many kinds of knowing. Sometimes the mind studies life as it studies a book; it skims over the surface and absorbs not life, but words, which it calls life. ... It is one thing to read a book on aerodynamics; it is another thing to fly. As a bird knows flight by flying, I would know life by living. And I would know God, not as a word, but as a living presence in my life. ... I am the green plant of God, and I would know Him as the leaves of a tree know sunlight. I would absorb Him and be absorbed in Him. I would make His substance mine and His life mine so that I can make my life and substance His. I would use Him to be used by Him. ... This is why I pray." - James Dillet Freeman
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Old 12-04-2012, 06:07 AM #216 (permalink)
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Default Re: Happiness now

I have become so much more aware of my patterns by really seeing and exploring
my true self. Although this has been painful, it has brought such light and love in
too. The way I choose to treat myself and speak to myself, not matter what is
happening or reflected back, is where I am now. Do I choose self~love no matter what?

These readings and my self reflection has deepened and brought up more to heal...yet,
it is worth it. I am worth it, as are everyone! Everyday I declare my intention to love
and accept myself and others and be in the flow of my life. I am guided, and choose
to trust in God.

Thank yo with all my heart....God bless you and everyone who visits this beautiful, love~filled
thread of gold!
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Old 12-04-2012, 06:08 AM #217 (permalink)
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Awwww, went to moderation but sending deep love!
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Old 12-04-2012, 11:28 AM #218 (permalink)
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Default Re: Happiness now

I HOPE OTHERS COME TO THIS THREAD FOR HAPPINESS NOW! JAYNE YOU ARE GROWING LEAPS AND BOUNDS.....CONTINUE ON YOUR JOURNEY UP AND DOWN ANDTHE PATH OF UNCONDITIONAL LOVE.

“The problems of our world cannot be solved by skeptics or cynics whose horizons
are limited by the obvious realities, but by men of vision, hope and imagination.” John F. Kennedy ☼


There is a hard law. When an injury is done to us, we never recover until we forgive.

- Alan Paton


Magic exists. Who can doubt it, when there are rainbows and wildflowers, the music of the wind and the silence of the stars? Anyone who has loved has been touched by magic. It is such a simple and such an extraordinary part of the lives we live.

~~Nora Roberts

If we are peaceful, if we are happy, we can blossom like a flower, and everyone in our family, in our entire society, will benefit from our peace.

~~Thich Nhat Hanh


say all the time that every moment we have to live our life is a blessing. So often I have found myself taking it for granted. Every hug from a family member. Every laugh we share with friends. Even the times of solitude are all blessings. Every second of every day is a gift.

✣...Everyone you meet in your life - even total strangers - is already intimately
connected to you.....

The idea that we are all separate and distinct beings is nothing but an illusion. We are all parts of a larger whole, like individual cells in a body.

✣Steve Pavlina

"Late have I loved You
O beauty every ancient, ever new!
Late have I loved You
And behold,
You were within; and I without,
...
and without I sought You.
And deformed I ran after these forms
of beauty You have made.

You were with me
And I was not with You.
Those things held me back from You,
things whose only being
was to be in You.

You called; You cried;
and You broke through my deafness.
You flashed; You shone;
and you chased away my blindness.
You became fragrant;
and I inhaled and sighed for You.

I tasted
and now hunger and thirst
for You.

You touched me;
and I burned for Your embrace."

~St. Augustine

"Lord, make me an instrument of your peace...
Where there is hatred, let me sow love.
Where there is injury, pardon.
Where there is doubt, faith.
Where there is despair, hope.
Where is darkness, light.
Where there is sadness, joy.
O Divine Master, grant that I may not so much seek
To be consoled..as to console,
To be understood, as to understand,
To be loved..as to love,
For...
It is in giving..that we receive,
It is in pardoning..that we are pardoned,
It is in dying...that we are born to Eternal life...
St. Francis Prayer

Amen ♥
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Old 12-05-2012, 06:24 AM #219 (permalink)
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Oh...this is the best soul~food! Thank you for your encouragement and light on my
journey!

I once did a workshop with Thich Nhat Hahn and loved
his simplicity. He was banished from Vietnam and so mace his home in France and lived
from his heart, his true home. I love the inspiration of that.

Reading the St. Frances prayer is so soothing. I see very clearly the results of my thoughts
and at times have felt powerless to really change, being easily thrown by events. Last night,
awake and thinking too much, I turned my thoughts to unconditional love and stayed there.
It was a challenge at first, but when I awoke this morning I realized that I was self-loving
enough to fall asleep again. This is huge for me and I am so grateful!

I see too, how my old beliefs of being 'less than' have made out-side events even more painful and
by deeply changing my beliefs, I don't have the same target in my heart...literally! I could not do
this without my deepest trust and belief in God and guidance. That too, has been a choice to
strengthen and that is what I choose!

I am so inspired Sharon, how you live through God on your journey. I see my dear friend today
and will remember to offer my gratitude...through my heart. God Bless you and everyone on this
beautiful thread!
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Old 12-05-2012, 10:10 AM #220 (permalink)
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Default Re: Happiness now

jayne, oh how i wish to see Thich Nhat Hahn in person. You are most blessed! God is the Path we are on...give your friend a ((hug)) from me!.


I’m becoming a fan of 'the pause.' Between notes and pages and words and breaths, between thought and voice, between action and reaction. In that momentary stillness, in that space between before and after, there is possibility, a myriad of paths that can be taken, a dozen different versions of me.

~~Judy Clement Wall-

Dwell on the beauty of life. Watch the stars and see yourself running with them.

~~Marcus Aurelius

It is when you lose sight of yourself, that you lose your way. To keep your truth in sight you must keep yourself in sight and the world to you should be a mirror to reflect to you your image; the world should be a mirror that you reflect upon.”

~~C. JoyBell C.

If you begin to understand what you are without trying to change it, then what you are undergoes a transformation. --~ Krishnamurti





On this day of your life, friend , I believe God wants you to know...
...that fears are nothing more than states of mind.

Napoleon Hill said that, and he was right. The moment

you move into fear over something ask yourself, "Why

am I making this real? What is there inside of me that

drives me to do this?"

There is a huge difference between fear and caution.

Caution moves forward with care, fear stands still,

paralyzed. Avoid paralysis at all cost. It is not good

for the soul -- and it gets you nowhere.
~Neale Donald Walsch




Connect with the earth!

There is great strength created within you when you connect with your beloved earth. She has so many gifts to offer you, be open to receive them. Mother Earth feeds and nourishes your physical vessel. Connecting with the heart beat of the mother can rejuvenate you and offer you healing. Tuning into Mother Earth can bring you a peace and tranquility that is often hard to find, bringing you closer to the silence within.
You are also being asked to become the stewards and guardians of and for the earth. Think beyond the current moment when you are dumping spew into the waterways and the very earth itself. This is one of those times we ask of you think beyond the now, as everything you do effects the earth upon which you live. Everything you put into the earth you will be eating and drinking in the future! While she has remarkable regenerating techniques she asks that you do your part in taking care of this most beautiful planet.

Affirmation: "I am strengthened by connecting with the power of Mother Earth;
"I am growing stronger each day."
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Old 12-05-2012, 10:28 AM #221 (permalink)
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The Power of Self-Compassion
--by Jason Marsh, Greater Good, Apr 07, 2012


Are you your own worst critic?

It’s common to beat ourselves up for faults big and small. But according to psychologist Kristin Neff, that self-criticism comes at a price: It makes us anxious, dissatisfied with our life, and even depressed.

Kristin Neff

For the last decade, Neff has been a pioneer in the study of “self-compassion,” the revolutionary idea that you can actually be kind to yourself, accept your own faults—and enjoy deep emotional benefits as a result. Last year, she distilled the results of her research in the popular book Self-Compassion.

Neff, an associate professor in human development and culture at the University of Texas, Austin, will present highlights from her work at a Greater Good Science Center seminar at UC Berkeley next Friday, March 23, called “Self-Compassion and Emotional Resilience”—part of our “Science of a Meaningful Life” seminar series. The event will be webcast live, so anyone around the world can participate.

As part of the “Greater Good Podcast” series, she recently spoke with Greater Good Editor-in-Chief Jason Marsh about how self-compassion differs from self-esteem, why self-compassion can be hard for Americans, and the transformative effect it had on her own life.

You can listen to the interview here.

Below we present a condensed version of the discussion.

Jason Marsh: So please start by telling us: What is self-compassion?

Kristin Neff: The quick version is that it’s treating yourself with the same type of kind, caring support and understanding that you would show to anyone you cared about. In fact, most of us make incredibly harsh, cruel self-judgments that we would never make about a total stranger, let alone someone we cared about.

JM: In your work you’ve identified three core components of self-compassion. Could you please tell us what they are?

KN: Right, the first one is self-kindness, as opposed to self-judgment. A lot of times when we suffer, we just take a very cold attitude toward ourselves. So self-compassion involves being warm and supportive—actively soothing ourselves—as opposed to being cold and judging ourselves.

The second part is remembering that imperfection is part of the shared human experience—that you’re not alone in your suffering. Often, when something goes wrong, we look in the mirror and don’t like what we see—we feel very isolated in that moment, as if everyone else has these perfect lives and it’s just us who’s flawed and defective. When we remember that imperfection is part of the shared human experience, you can actually feel more connected to people in those moments.

The third component is mindfulness. If you aren’t mindfully aware that you’re suffering, if you’re just repressing your pain or ignoring it or getting lost in problem solving, you can’t give yourself compassion. You have to say, “Wait a second. This hurts. This is really hard. This is a moment where I need compassion.” If you don’t want to go there, if it’s too painful or you’re just too busy to go there, you can’t be compassionate.

JM: When I hear you describe it like that, it seems so obvious that this is something we should all try to practice. Yet the truth of the matter, which you explain in your book, is that a lot of us, most of us perhaps, are really bad at practicing self-compassion. Why do you think that is? And why is that such a bad thing?

KN: It’s very interesting because in our culture, we value compassion for others. We see clearly that it’s good to be a supportive friend and be kind to others, to help those in need.

We treat ourselves very differently than we treat other people. And I think there are several reasons why.

One of the big reasons is that people feel that they need to be self-critical in order to motivate themselves. We think we need to beat ourselves up if we make mistakes so that we won’t do it again. It’s a convoluted form of self-care: I criticize myself because I don’t want to keep engaging in this behavior that’s problematic.

But that’s completely counterproductive. Self-criticism is very strongly linked to depression. And depression is antithetical to motivation: You’re unable to be motivated to change if you’re depressed. It causes us to lose faith in ourselves, and that’s going to make us less likely to try to change and conditions us for failure. If every time you fail or make a mistake you beat yourself up, you’re going to very quickly try to avoid failure at all costs. It’s a natural survival instinct. Which means you may not take risks—maybe you take the course that’s an easy A [instead of a more challenging one].

Maybe the biggest problem with using self-criticism as a motivator is that if it’s really painful to be honest with yourself about your weaknesses—because you know you’re going to tear yourself to shreds with self-criticism—your subconscious pulls every trick in the book to not have to own up to your weaknesses.

The easiest trick is to blame someone else. Think about fights you have with your significant other—“You did it!” “No, you did it!” Each one’s trying to defend their ego, blaming the other person. But when you have self-compassion, it actually gives you the courage and the emotional safety you need to say, “Mea culpa—I did do that, I was out of line.” And that clarity actually gives you not only the wisdom to see what needs changing but the emotional strength and courage to go ahead and change it.

JM: So what what’s the difference between self-esteem and self-compassion?

KN: Self-compassion and self-esteem both involve positive emotions toward the self. But self-esteem is about judging yourself positively: I am good. Or, unfortunately, if you can’t keep up that self-definition: I am bad.

Self-compassion does not involve judgment or evaluation. It’s not about, “What type of person am I?” It’s just about: I’m suffering—can I respond to my suffering with kindness, understanding, caring, and concern?

Self-esteem is present when we succeed. Self-compassion is a way of relating to ourselves kindly when we fail.

Self-esteem is all about being special and above average. You subtly try to position yourself above other people so you can maintain your self-esteem. But self-compassion is about shared humanity—it’s all about being average. It’s about being a human: We have strengths and beautiful qualities, and we have weaknesses; we succeed and we fail and it’s all part of this shared human condition.

JM: I want to talk a little bit about your personal experience with self-compassion, how you really came to embrace it both personally and scientifically. How did you personally come to believe in the importance of self-compassion?

KN: I had a hippie, New-Agey childhood. But when I got to Berkeley for grad school, I decided I had to reject all that. And then what happened was—if you read my book, I tell my dirty laundry—but basically I was going through a very messy divorce, and I was stressed about finishing my dissertation and finding a job. There was a lot going on in my life. And I realized that when I just went for the intellect and tried to reject all my spirituality, I was shutting myself down. So I decided to give Buddhism a try.

I started meditating. And the lady teaching the meditation class talked a lot about self-compassion, and I just thought, “Oh my god, not only is this what I need, but this makes so much sense. Why has no one ever just said before, ‘You really should be kind to yourself, and it’ll actually be really healthy if you are?’” It immediately changed my life, so much so that when I got remarried shortly thereafter, we ended our marriage vows with the vow to help each other be more self-compassionate. We were both so moved by the concept.

After doing my post-doc and getting the job at UT-Austin, it was kind of scary because no one knew how to even define self-compassion, let alone conduct research on it in academia, although a lot of people had written about it in other circles. But I just knew that this was so important, I wanted it to be my life’s work. I started doing research on it, and I continued to practice it—going on retreats, practicing in my daily life, etc. But when it really saved me was when my son was diagnosed with autism in 2004.

I can’t even imagine how I would have coped if I didn’t have my self-compassion practice. I was able to fully accept my grief, not feel guilty for grieving, which a lot of autism parents do: “How can I be grieving for my child who I love so much?” I was able to accept all my complex, intense emotions, to really soothe and comfort myself for what I was going through.

With autism, you are powerless. When my son used to have tantrums in public, there was nothing I could do. I was completely powerless. I could try to keep him safe and that’s about it. So self-compassion allowed me to accept that, and open my heart to it—he’d be throwing a tantrum, and I would just be saying, “Let me be kind to myself right now, let me be kind to myself, let me…” I would actually focus on myself rather than him, after making sure he was safe. I couldn’t help him, but I could help myself in that moment.

Kristin Neff's book, Self-Compassion(William Morrow, 2011).

Self-compassion gave me the emotional stability I needed to help him, and then ultimately to embrace him, with a much more open heart and open mind than I would have been able to—to not try to fix him or control him but to celebrate who I was and kind of follow his lead. I won’t go into it here, but my husband wrote a book, and we made a documentary, called The Horse Boy, which is really about what happens if you open your heart and your mind to a child with autism or special needs.

JM: So it sounds like self-compassion was a revelation for you in your personal life and your family life. But why study it? Why would it necessarily follow that you should study it scientifically, especially given that there was a chance you could find no measurable benefits?

KN: Well, to be totally honest, I was convinced of the benefits and felt that what I wanted to do was demonstrate empirically that there were benefits. I don’t know what I would’ve done if there were no benefits. I probably would’ve still practiced self-compassion because it worked for me, but I would’ve been a bit flabbergasted if the data didn’t come out. Although I must admit, I was surprised by how strongly the links were between self-compassion and well-being—they’re really strong, robust associations. I thought, “Wow, we’re onto something here.”

JM: Looking back over the last decade or so of research, what are the findings that you think really attest to the benefits of self-compassion?

KN: Well, there’s the data supporting the fact that self-compassion has the same mental health benefits as self-esteem: less depression, more optimism, greater happiness, more life satisfaction. But self-compassion offers the benefits without the drawbacks of self-esteem. Self-esteem is associated with narcissism; self-compassion isn’t. It’s self-compassion, not self-esteem, that predicts stability of self-worth—a type of self-worth that isn’t contingent on outcomes—as well as less social comparison, less reactive anger.

Now a lot of research is coming out around health behaviors, showing that people who practice self-compassion make really wise health choices. They exercise more for intrinsic reasons, they can stick to their diets, they go to the doctor more often, they practice safer sex. All this research is coming out showing that self-compassion is not just a good idea, and it doesn’t just make you feel good, it makes you act in healthier ways.

Also, people who are self-compassionate are kinder, more giving, and supportive to their relationship partners.

JM: Those research results sound encouraging, but could they just reflect that people who are self-compassionate also have these other traits and practice these other behaviors? Or is there research suggesting that self-compassion can actually be taught, and that by learning self-compassion, those other benefits will follow?

KN: Yeah, the research is already there, and it’s going to continue. There’s a lot of research on MBSR—Jon Kabat-Zinns’ Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction program—and all the benefits that accrue from that. Well, it turns out that self-compassion increases through participation in the course; in fact, it may be that self-compassion is perhaps even the most powerful outcome of MBSR training that enhances well-being.

Some of the studies I’m talking about are based on short-term interventions, training people over four weeks. But my colleague Chris Germer and I have developed an eight-week program, very similar in structure to mindfulness-based stress reduction, where two hours a week for eight weeks, we talk about self-compassion, we teach exercises, we do self-compassion meditations, interpersonal exercises. I’ll have the data very soon to see if it does increase well-being. We’ve done pilot testing without a control group and the results were really good.

I could see this going into the schools. Already, people are starting to talk about teaching compassion in the schools, so I’d like to add this piece of having compassion for yourself as well.

JM: That brings up a point you mentioned earlier. When you talk about teaching self-compassion in schools, I think that might raise some red flags in some people’s minds. I’m thinking of the concern I’ve heard before: Is self-compassion going to make people complacent and unmotivated to improve themselves and accomplish more?

KN: Yeah, that is a very common concern. It’s actually, I think, the number one block to self-compassion: the fear that if I’m too kind to myself, I’ll be complacent.

The research doesn’t show that. The research really supports that people who are self-compassionate, their standards are just as high for themselves, but they don’t get as upset when they fail to meet their goals—they cope with it more productively. And as a result, when self-compassionate people don’t reach a goal, they’re much more likely to pick themselves up, dust themselves off, and re-engage in a new goal.

Self-compassion is associated with what’s called “learning goals” rather than “performance goals.” So people who are self-compassionate, they want to learn and grow for its own sake, not because they want to impress other people. There is a huge body of research showing that if your goal is to learn as opposed to just impress others, that’s a much more sustainable way of learning and growing.

JM: So if you could engineer our society in a way that fosters more self-compassion, how would you do that?

KN: I think our obsession with self-esteem and competition does mean that we’d have to engineer things differently here. Is that what we want to be promoting in the schools? Is that what parents want to be promoting?

We don’t want kids to hate themselves, we want them to feel worthy, but is life all about being better than others? Is it all about being special and above average? Or is about being a human being as happy and healthy as you possibly can be, about reaching your own potential? And I think if we made that type of cultural shift, at the level of parenting and education, I think we’d have a real chance of shifting things at the larger macro level.
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I love the wisdom that self~compassion ignites us to learning goals, not complacency! I
think that was a hidden belief that I had held and now let go of....love the interview.

The reading too about the 'pause' is really key in stopping trains of thought that don't serve
and I love reading it. I see things in a lighter way recently and it is a result of my inner talk
and reverence for myself that then extends to others.

Even contemplating these words, I hear the wind outside, feeling present. I love the teachings
of Thich Nhat Hahn too Sharon, and loved that he over~came much by going inward and then acting
from heart wisdom, and choosing compassion. His affirmations are so simple and beautiful.

My friend and I were in the large community gathering room yesterday, it has a nice feel to it, yet
can be noisy too. We decided to pray together and at first felt distracted by the comings and goings
of others, but then were in a state of being that seemed 'of the world but not in it' as it has been
so beautifully said. This was so lovely and what a lesson for us both as the outside stuff seemed much
more distant. I have told her of you Sharon, several times and her eyes light up; you have a connection!

At night I review my day and especially highlight where I have been loving. I fall asleep doing affirmations
and it is soothing! And starting my day here...wonderful!
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JAYNE, "0F THE WORLD, BUT IN IT"... I LOVE THAT PHRASE.... BUT WE CAN BE TOTALLY PRESENT TO THE WORLD...YES CAROLINE AND A CONNECTION: YOU!

The essence of love is kindness.~~Robert Louis Stevenson

"Nature always wears the colors of the spirit."
~Ralph Waldo Emerson

Because of love. I have become the giver of light.

~~Rumi

I am never upset for the reason I think because I am constantly trying to justify my thoughts. I am constantly trying to make them true. I make all things my enemies, so that my anger is justified and my attacks are warranted. I have not realized how much I have misused everything I see by assigning this role to it. I have done this to defend a thought system that has hurt me, and that I no longer want. I am willing to let it go.

~ ACIM ♥

"Happiness is like a kiss. You must share it to enjoy it. "
~Bernard Meltzer

You are important.
Your actions matter.
Your thoughts create.
Your presence changes everything.
Love Begins With you, with me.

~~Unknown

You are loved, honored and supported for this journey of awakening that you are on. If ever you feel alone ask your angels and guides to show you how they weave a web of light around you that lets everyone know who you truly are and to take good care of your light. Open your arms and your heart to receive the love and support that you so richly deserve and from this place you are in a far better way to help serve humanity, the Creator and all that is.

Affirmation:
"By healing myself, I am evolving into a new way of being, doing and seeing;
I AM Ascending to new levels of light."

Believe in yourself. See yourself as your angels see you and hold yourself in unconditional love. Take the time to really look at yourself and how you see yourself in the world and transform any thoughts of less than. It is your self-beliefs that shape your world and we are happy to assist you in better understanding them and transforming any thoughts that no longer serve you or your growth. When you are clear about who you are, things flow more easily to you and through you.
~Sharon Taphorn

THE BREATH OF THE MORNING

The freshness of the morning's embrace, silences the disquiet of the night. The breath of newness, stills me within the moment.

The birds settle in the tree, beneath the expanse of the clear blue sky—that is reflected in the pool's watery softness, and from its still waters, my body drinks.

There is no need for noise or conversation, even from my mind. There is just this moment's embrace, within which I relish the newness of the morning—that opens wide my soul to receiving all that is given to me, everything that is already here.

I may walk on new pathways, and climb the mountains of my aspirations—that are set before me. But, always, what I have, is already here. It is the peace that is within me, found on this day. The peace that walks with me, present in my heart—that can also rejoice in every rainbow and blessing that is to be. The greatest blessing is, of course, this peace that is found within the breath of each day, as it is found in this morning—within the beauty of the world that surrounds me, and where the blessing of this eternal paradise can be seen.

All this is found, as I become still, long enough, to notice its presence in my life—noticing the blessing of what already is.

~~Dolby Dobrow
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Default Re: Happiness now

"I AM Ascending to new levels of Light" thank you...I AM...I feel it...thank you for your
loving affirmations and writings of wisdom and love!

I see the grace today. I have been presented with what would have been a deep challenge
around family of origin, it would have been very disturbing to me and yet, I feel so much
lighter. I see that I have a choice as to think about it and make myself unwell, or to be
in this new frequency. I just don't feel the same pull of old weight and I am so grateful for that!

Someone told my dear friend Caroline that they thought that we were sisters~we looked so
happy together...a true indication of SOUL~FAMILY! She was very happy about that too.

Today, if am so grateful for Peace and growing into more Peace. It has been and always will be
a journey with choices: do I come from my Soul and Love or old reactions? I choose self~love
and then it flows.....

Love you my friend and deep gratitude for you holding up you lamp of Light!
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JAYNE, YOU ARE A BEACON OF LIGHT TO ME! I AM GLAD THAT SOMEONE SAID YOU ARE SISTERS...IT IS THE TRUTH~SOUL SISTERS....AND I AM YOUR SISTER TOO!

"Listening is a very deep practice…. You have to empty yourself. You have to leave space in order to listen…. especially to people we think are our enemies – the ones we believe are making our situation worse. When you have shown your capacity for listening and understanding, the other person will begin to listen to you, and you have a chance to tell him or her of your pain, and it's your turn to be healed. This is the practice of peace."
~Thich Nhat Hanh

We must no longer see prayer as preparation for action. Prayer must be understood as action itself, a way of responding, a potent spiritual weapon to be used in spiritual warfare against the most powerful forces in the world. Prayer is not undertaken instead of other actions, but as a foundation for all the rest of the actions we take.”~ Jim Wallis



carry your heart with me
(i carry it in my heart)
i am never without it
(anywhere i go ~ you go,my dear;
and whatever is done
by only me is your doing,my darling)

i fear no fate
(for you are my fate,my sweet)
i want no world
(for beautiful you are my world,my true)
and it's you are whatever a moon has always meant
and whatever a sun will always sing is you ~
here is the deepest secret nobody knows
(here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud
and the sky of the sky of a tree called life;
which grows higher than soul can hope
or mind can hide)
and this is the wonder that's keeping the stars apart ~
i carry your heart
(i carry it in my heart)
~ ee Cummings

"It's easy to get lost in endless speculation. So today, release the need to know why things happen as they do. Instead, ask for the insight to recognize what you're meant to learn."

- Caroline Myss

"When I meet new people, in my mind there is no barrier, no curtain."
"As human beings, you are my brothers and sisters."
– The Dalai Lama

" My creed is that: Happiness is the only good. The place to be happy is here. The time to be happy is now. The way to be happy is to make others so. "
Robert Green Ingersoll
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