retiredmus2010
Distinguished member
- Joined
- Apr 12, 2011
- Messages
- 163
- Reason
- CALS
- Diagnosis
- 04/2010
- Country
- US
- State
- Maryland
- City
- Princess Anne
The Gift of Change
In all affairs it's a healthy thing now and then to hang a question mark on
the things you have long taken for granted.
~Bertrand Russell
For years I was unhappy with most of the gifts I received for
my birthday, Christmas or other occasions. I put a lot of
thought into the gifts I gave to others, and it seemed to me
that that they did not return the favor.
Didn't those closest to me know that I didn't enjoy reading
romance novels? Or that gadget for my car would go unused? And
surely they should have figured out that if they wanted to get me
a food gift it had to be chocolate! But no, the stream of gifts that I
put in the back of my dresser drawer, gave away, or even sometimes
threw away, continued.
I didn't speak up. I didn't want to hurt the feelings of those I
loved and cared about, but my resentment began to grow. I felt like
the most important people in my life didn't really know me, or maybe
didn't care enough about me to think about my likes and dislikes.
One day I was unwrapping a birthday gift from my teenage
son - a blouse more stylish than I felt comfortable wearing. My first
thought when I peeled back the tissue paper and saw the blouse was
that it was another candidate to hang in the back of my closet. But
when I looked up at Jason's face and saw him smiling at me with
anticipation, I finally got it. It was an epiphany that made me readjust
the attitude of a lifetime in a moment.
134 Attitude Adjustments : The Gift of Change
"What do you think, Mom?" Jason asked, barely waiting for me
to pull the blouse out of the box. "I thought it would look so nice on
you."
"It's beautiful," I was able to say authentically as I hugged him. In
that moment of clarity I realized that Jason saw me as someone who
would be open to receiving and wearing something more elegant
than my usual attire. He wanted to give me something special.
"Try it on - I want to see how it looks," Jason added.
"I know just the skirt to try it with," I said as I headed towards
my closet.
When I re-entered the living room with the outfit on, Jason
was waiting. "It looks just like I thought it would. It's pretty on you,
Mom," Jason said.
I tried to stop the tears that were welling in the corner of my
eyes. "Thank you, honey. It is a beautiful blouse. I can tell you put a
lot of thought into picking it out."
"You're welcome Mom - glad you like it," Jason said, and he
continued to smile as he gave me another quick hug before he walked
away.
Jason probably wondered why I was so emotional over the gift.
He had no way of knowing that he'd given me much more than a
blouse.
I began to think back on gifts I'd rejected as a bad fi t for me and
grasped the fact that maybe the people who gave me the gifts saw
something in me that I didn't see in myself. They might have thought
I was more romantic, or adventurous, or saw me as a better cook than
I gave myself credit for. I began to see myself as others saw me. That
opened me up to change and growth.
In the years since I received Jason's present, I have rarely felt disappointed
when a gift doesn't match my interests or desires. I go into
holidays with no expectation of receiving anything, and then everything
I receive becomes a blessing. The idea that someone thinks of
me, and spends precious time, thought and money to purchase and
wrap a gift is more than enough for me. It is amazing how much more pleasant each occasion is, and how much more I appreciate my
family and friends since this insight.
There is definitely something special about receiving a gift that is
perfectly suited for you. But I have found it is just as special to receive
all gifts with an open mind and a grateful heart and spirit.
~Nancy Hatten
In all affairs it's a healthy thing now and then to hang a question mark on
the things you have long taken for granted.
~Bertrand Russell
For years I was unhappy with most of the gifts I received for
my birthday, Christmas or other occasions. I put a lot of
thought into the gifts I gave to others, and it seemed to me
that that they did not return the favor.
Didn't those closest to me know that I didn't enjoy reading
romance novels? Or that gadget for my car would go unused? And
surely they should have figured out that if they wanted to get me
a food gift it had to be chocolate! But no, the stream of gifts that I
put in the back of my dresser drawer, gave away, or even sometimes
threw away, continued.
I didn't speak up. I didn't want to hurt the feelings of those I
loved and cared about, but my resentment began to grow. I felt like
the most important people in my life didn't really know me, or maybe
didn't care enough about me to think about my likes and dislikes.
One day I was unwrapping a birthday gift from my teenage
son - a blouse more stylish than I felt comfortable wearing. My first
thought when I peeled back the tissue paper and saw the blouse was
that it was another candidate to hang in the back of my closet. But
when I looked up at Jason's face and saw him smiling at me with
anticipation, I finally got it. It was an epiphany that made me readjust
the attitude of a lifetime in a moment.
134 Attitude Adjustments : The Gift of Change
"What do you think, Mom?" Jason asked, barely waiting for me
to pull the blouse out of the box. "I thought it would look so nice on
you."
"It's beautiful," I was able to say authentically as I hugged him. In
that moment of clarity I realized that Jason saw me as someone who
would be open to receiving and wearing something more elegant
than my usual attire. He wanted to give me something special.
"Try it on - I want to see how it looks," Jason added.
"I know just the skirt to try it with," I said as I headed towards
my closet.
When I re-entered the living room with the outfit on, Jason
was waiting. "It looks just like I thought it would. It's pretty on you,
Mom," Jason said.
I tried to stop the tears that were welling in the corner of my
eyes. "Thank you, honey. It is a beautiful blouse. I can tell you put a
lot of thought into picking it out."
"You're welcome Mom - glad you like it," Jason said, and he
continued to smile as he gave me another quick hug before he walked
away.
Jason probably wondered why I was so emotional over the gift.
He had no way of knowing that he'd given me much more than a
blouse.
I began to think back on gifts I'd rejected as a bad fi t for me and
grasped the fact that maybe the people who gave me the gifts saw
something in me that I didn't see in myself. They might have thought
I was more romantic, or adventurous, or saw me as a better cook than
I gave myself credit for. I began to see myself as others saw me. That
opened me up to change and growth.
In the years since I received Jason's present, I have rarely felt disappointed
when a gift doesn't match my interests or desires. I go into
holidays with no expectation of receiving anything, and then everything
I receive becomes a blessing. The idea that someone thinks of
me, and spends precious time, thought and money to purchase and
wrap a gift is more than enough for me. It is amazing how much more pleasant each occasion is, and how much more I appreciate my
family and friends since this insight.
There is definitely something special about receiving a gift that is
perfectly suited for you. But I have found it is just as special to receive
all gifts with an open mind and a grateful heart and spirit.
~Nancy Hatten
