Love? Or something more?

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pepsiman

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Lost a loved one
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Latham
I'm putting this out here because it's a big part of what keeps me going.

I'm a very spiritual person, not religious, that just doesn't resonate with me in any meaningful way. I do however believe in deep connections that go way beyond our perceived reality. Many, many things have happened in my life that truly cannot be explained and I just can't believe they are all just chance. I'll start with when Liz and I met.

Liz was the college roommate/best friend of the woman who would later become the wife of one of my best friends. Cathy (Liz's roommate) invited Liz up to her summer cabin for a weeks vacation a couple of years after they graduated (it was admittedly an attempted matchmaking on Cathy's part). I was invited down to the cabin for a beer the day Liz arrived in town (neither of us knew about the matchmaking part). The moment I saw Liz, I, 1. had some sort of deep recognition, like we already knew each other intimately, although I had never before seen her or even a picture of her. and 2. Knew for FACT that this was the woman I was going to marry. Actually getting together took another couple of years.

Later, after we had moved in together and were planning on getting married, we were having a little party with a couple of her friends from school (she was in grad school at the time) and the subject of how we had met came up. Liz proceeded to tell them how she knew I was the one she was going to marry the moment we met. Of course she added, that at the time, she really wasn't all that impressed with me and couldn't imagine why she would have had that thought. Now Liz wasn't spiritual. She was going to grad school for philosophy and really didn't have any spiritual beliefs. Nevertheless, when we talked about it later there was no denying how well both of our experiences at that first meeting meshed.

If anybody's interested, I'll expound later on what she told me was the one thing that actually convinced her to marry me.

Dick
 
That is fantastic!I can relate to a story like this as the first time I saw Christine I knew I would marry her.
Do tell us more!
 
Dick-

"... the one thing that actually convinced her to marry me."

You mean it wasn't your charm & good looks? :lol:
Do tell.
 
more more more
 
Yes, Dick. Please do finish the story! And, Joel, you go next and tell us about Christine...Mare (You didn't raise your hand, but I have a feeling...), CJ, Iris? I, too, relate. And it's such a happy topic, isn't it? OK, I used to teach school, but I'm finished "organizing".
 
What a wonderful love story!
 
Sorry, I've been out working on the antique all day.

Yea, my charm and good looks :) There's a photo of me from very early in our relationship laying on her sofa. In that photo I look like a young Sly Stallone. Not exactly a pretty guy. I was buff though :)

Anyway, picking up where I left off.....
After some fits and starts, I took a motorcycle ride to Florida, stopping in Lancaster and sleeping on her sofa for a night. We spent a day together and apparently my charm did in fact have some effect on her. Later that summer she came back to Speculator for a weeks vacation and we went on a date or two but not much became of it and I thought I had seen the last of her. That September she just sort of showed up in town. I had no idea she was coming and apparently my friends weren't expecting her either. She was visibly upset though when I saw her walking down the street so I picked her up and we went for a ride. Turned out her brother had been arrested at college on drug charges (I never really found out how all that turned out but he very shortly transferred to Virginia Tech and remains free of any criminal record). We had a rather surreal week but somehow in there she had decided I was worth dumping her existing life for and moving to NY.

The following August she moved to Troy and started grad school at RPI. Her parents were mystified (RPI isn't really known as a philosophy school). I had heard inklings of her actions from Cathy but had no idea that she had really moved up here for me (I'm pretty dense). I'm sure Cathy was well aware of everything that was going on, but I guess she figured "the plan" had no need for any extra help on her end. Anyway, one day out of the blue I got a call from Liz inviting me down to Troy for dinner. Being as I commuted almost 100 miles one way every day to school I thought nothing of driving to Troy for dinner.

After dinner we were sitting around her apartment getting to know each other a little better and I became violently ill. Completely out of the blue, one minute I was feeling fine and the next I had my arms around the toilet bowl and was retching over and over. It was just one of those short lived stomach bugs, but it went on all night long. She kept me comfortable and cleaned up after me through the night. The next morning it was her turn. I returned the favor, cleaning up and taking care of her all day and into the wee hours of the morning when, just like it had with me, the illness just went away.

We started dating regularly after that and in just a couple of months I moved in with her. She told me much later that that night had convinced her that we had a future together and that if we could survive our very first night together in that state that we would be able to survive anything. And so we did. I can honestly say there was never a seriously shaky point in our relationship. Sure we had our ups and downs but I don't think either one of us ever even considered leaving. She liked to tell me that we were both too lazy to walk out, but the fact of the matter is we were in love. That never changed, even after ALS brought all the tears and pain, and it never will.

So now, I find myself trying to reach back into the past to pull those good memories forward. And with 22 years together, and four kids, there are a lot of memories out there. It just all went by so fast......

Dick
 
Thank You Dick......
I find I have been reflecting alot lately on the beginnings of my hubbys and my relationship. I have been trying to find a way for Andrew to document his life..so I asked my girlfriend to send him a daily question. He answers using the eyemax that you donated so graciously to our family. As you remember Liz...we are creating memories due to your generousity. I actually have learned things about Andrew that I never knew. It has brought on wonderful relfections and conversations..all done on the eyemax. The questions have been simple...to more complex. Someday we will compile all the answers into a book for our boys. Thank You for sharing such wonderful memories of the love of your life.
Can't wait to see your jeep arrive in our driveway...the boys will love a ride.
 
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And thank you Kelly. You bring back memories of my father with your post. In many ways I was the closest to him of all my siblings (I have five sisters). Still there is so much I don't know about his life. He passed away in 1997. Every now and again in passing my mother or one of my sisters will bring up something I never knew. I really treasure those nuggets when I hear them. I need to put to paper all of these recollections of Liz. The stories you've read so far are family lore, the kids have heard them over and over. I need to pull more of the memories and commit them paper for them. The older I get the more I realize that the stories are the most important part of our lives. Without them we're little more than robots. I've got another one to relate, maybe tomorrow.
 
thank you for sharing these wonderful stories. ANd , DICK, for a night like that to start your love life and I mean your life of love, there has tobe enormous strength and a link way beyond the ordinary between you two.
Thank you again.

And I love the idea of the book creation. I feel lazy and complaining beside you all. Today and after I improve. Thank you for the kick start with these stories of love
 
Dick, Tussen Takk for sharing the love of Liz with all of us! My story of Web is funny. We both worked for the same Nonprofit Organization-he was a Department Head and I was a Home Health Nurse. I had been separated from my first husband for 2 years and was NOT interested in ever getting married again, I was never [lol] going to date someone that was divorced or had children and my own were grown up. I was soul enjoying being me :] I lived in a wonderful cottage on Kiawah Island, rode my beach bike along a deserted beach every morning at 5AM, took classes in all sorts of FUN topics and was just loving life ALONE! We would greet one another in passing but honestly, I never gave him [or any other man!] a passing thought. Unknown to me, he had been divorced for 2 years and was very interested in me! Being a Dept. head he had access to the Personal Files so he RESEARCHED ME [the horror of it-of course, that was not shared with me until a few years later] and then asked my Secretary to casually inquire if I would consider going out on a date with him! My first response was "IS he married?" I always thought that he was married because he was so polite and respectful. I thought he was very handsome :] and I enjoyed the casual conversations we had so I thought, Why not! He phoned my Secretary just then to see what I had said and I surprised him by getting on the phone! Actually, I shocked him! I asked him if he really was divorced, was he dating anyone else? When the answer was Divorced and not dating, I asked him to go to lunch with me the next day! Not the usual way for a Southern man :] We had such a fun long lunch. I soul enjoyed him and thought that he would make a good friend. We dated and I do mean "dated" for more than 6 months before I ever allowed him to even come to my home to pick me up and did not even have our first real kiss until we had dated for 8 months! We were soul in love and just enjoying the depth of our friendship and I did not want to complicate it and again, I DID NOT WANT to ever be married again PLUS he had 4 sons from his first marriage. After we had dated for a year, he asked me to marry him [YIKES] and of course, I declined but then I asked him to move in with me :] Then, at 43 I get pregnant! The Universe always has a plan for each of us [smiling] Web and I have been together for 15 years but just celebrated our 8th Wedding Anniversary. Matthew was the one that finally convinced me that it was important to be legal-"How can we really be a family if we do not all have the same name?" This man is my best friend, the heart of my heart and I am soul grateful for every moment that we have had to love one another. He has enlarged my heart. One of the lessons of my story is that one should never say NEVER!
 
You guys are awesome. I was beginning to believe that Hollywood made up the "love fairytale" and figured it was for little more purpose than to frustrate the ugly world. My little corner is pretty ugly, but reading this thread has lit a candle to shed light and warmth. So, love or something more? I must be full of something more because I am still in my corner even though I have wanted to run away for a very long time. The something more has to do with dedication. I am no superhero but dedication keeps me here. I am hoping for a little hero cookie someday but am not holding my breath. Learning to love myself.
 
Wonderful, wonderful stories. Many years ago, I used to make excuses to call this vendor of mine because his voice had a way of calming me. His voice has that same effect on me today even though we've been married 14 years! I didn't believe in soul mates until Mike and I got together.
 
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