There are times when I wonder if God hates me.
I hate the saying that God only gives us what we can handle. In my darkest moments I think...if that's true, then God made His first mistake because I CAN'T HANDLE THIS!
And then, I realize just how true that is. We aren't meant to handle these things. That's when we have to (yes, HAVE to for our own sanity) cry out to God and say...I can't handle this....You handle it. I'm giving it to You, God.
It is so true that when it rains it pours. I used to think life was a roller coaster, but now, I think it's like two roller coasters side by side. (Rick Warren said this.) One roller coaster is the positive things and one is the negative. They are always both running at the same time. Some times one is hitting a valley and the other is hitting a peak of a hill, but there is always negative and positive going at the same time. But, I think when the negative hits and hits and hits...we begin to think we'll never be able to get up...to make it.
God doesn't hate you or me. This world is so very far from perfect. It is a defective, fallen, sinful world. Bad things happen all of the time. And, unfortunately, those of us on this forum know this better than anyone ever should. But, God doesn't hate you. In fact, He provided us a way out. He provided us hope. He sent His only son to die in our place. Jesus paid the price for our sins. All we have to do is accept that gift. Then, when this imperfect, sometimes very crappy world is done with us, we will be in the presence of our Savior. We will have no more grief, no more pain, no more ALS.
What God did became so real to me almost exactly 10 years ago. My husband and I had trouble getting pregnant. After 5 years of surgeries, and specialists, and a miscarriage, and fertility treatments, we got pregnant with Joshua. But then there were pregnancy problems and he was born premature. He fought hard for 7 months. He ended up needing a trach and a ventilator. His last few days, we were so desperate. We were asking about a lung transplant...could I give him one of my lungs? They said, "No, that isn't possible and it wouldn't work anyway." I would have given him both of my lungs....my life...if it would have given him a chance.
But, I wouldn't have given Joshua's life to save anyone else. I wouldn't have allowed him to be placed in a stinky feeding trough the day he was born, surrounded by barn animals, surrounded by manure, with only rags for clothes. I wouldn't have allowed him to be humiliated, tortured, whipped just up to the point of death..., mocked, and then killed in the most gruesome method that man could think up at the time. But God allowed his only son to go through all of that....for you. Definately not because he hates you.....but because He Loves You.
I know what it is like to be in the valley of the shadow of death. Within a time span of 10 years, I have miscarried twins, had my house robbed, almost died with pregnancy complications, held my only son in my arms as he died, both my beloved grandparents died, I watched my dad die of cancer, my mother-in-law died suddenly and unexpectantly, my father-in-law died of cancer, my husband's aunt (who was like a mom to him) died suddenly, my husband lost his job, we lost our house, had to declare bankruptcy, and then, the most devastating...ALS took my husband 7 months and 9 days ago.
And this is the verse that has helped me and my husband through all of this. The heading of this section is, "The Disciple's Grief Will Turn to Joy". It's in John 16:33, "In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world." This world is not all there is. There is hope beyond the saddness and beyond the grief. There is hope.
I hate the saying that God only gives us what we can handle. In my darkest moments I think...if that's true, then God made His first mistake because I CAN'T HANDLE THIS!
And then, I realize just how true that is. We aren't meant to handle these things. That's when we have to (yes, HAVE to for our own sanity) cry out to God and say...I can't handle this....You handle it. I'm giving it to You, God.
It is so true that when it rains it pours. I used to think life was a roller coaster, but now, I think it's like two roller coasters side by side. (Rick Warren said this.) One roller coaster is the positive things and one is the negative. They are always both running at the same time. Some times one is hitting a valley and the other is hitting a peak of a hill, but there is always negative and positive going at the same time. But, I think when the negative hits and hits and hits...we begin to think we'll never be able to get up...to make it.
God doesn't hate you or me. This world is so very far from perfect. It is a defective, fallen, sinful world. Bad things happen all of the time. And, unfortunately, those of us on this forum know this better than anyone ever should. But, God doesn't hate you. In fact, He provided us a way out. He provided us hope. He sent His only son to die in our place. Jesus paid the price for our sins. All we have to do is accept that gift. Then, when this imperfect, sometimes very crappy world is done with us, we will be in the presence of our Savior. We will have no more grief, no more pain, no more ALS.
What God did became so real to me almost exactly 10 years ago. My husband and I had trouble getting pregnant. After 5 years of surgeries, and specialists, and a miscarriage, and fertility treatments, we got pregnant with Joshua. But then there were pregnancy problems and he was born premature. He fought hard for 7 months. He ended up needing a trach and a ventilator. His last few days, we were so desperate. We were asking about a lung transplant...could I give him one of my lungs? They said, "No, that isn't possible and it wouldn't work anyway." I would have given him both of my lungs....my life...if it would have given him a chance.
But, I wouldn't have given Joshua's life to save anyone else. I wouldn't have allowed him to be placed in a stinky feeding trough the day he was born, surrounded by barn animals, surrounded by manure, with only rags for clothes. I wouldn't have allowed him to be humiliated, tortured, whipped just up to the point of death..., mocked, and then killed in the most gruesome method that man could think up at the time. But God allowed his only son to go through all of that....for you. Definately not because he hates you.....but because He Loves You.
I know what it is like to be in the valley of the shadow of death. Within a time span of 10 years, I have miscarried twins, had my house robbed, almost died with pregnancy complications, held my only son in my arms as he died, both my beloved grandparents died, I watched my dad die of cancer, my mother-in-law died suddenly and unexpectantly, my father-in-law died of cancer, my husband's aunt (who was like a mom to him) died suddenly, my husband lost his job, we lost our house, had to declare bankruptcy, and then, the most devastating...ALS took my husband 7 months and 9 days ago.
And this is the verse that has helped me and my husband through all of this. The heading of this section is, "The Disciple's Grief Will Turn to Joy". It's in John 16:33, "In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world." This world is not all there is. There is hope beyond the saddness and beyond the grief. There is hope.
