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skipper66

Very helpful member
Joined
May 20, 2012
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1,527
Reason
Lost a loved one
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00/0000
Country
US
State
IL
City
SMALL TOWN IN
I would like to share a few of my experiences with you. I am sure many of you who are PALS and CALS on here at times have had major struggles with keeping their faith through all this. We question Why? Why? Why? over and over. Never getting the answer that we seek.
My mom passed away of colon cancer almost 17 years ago. I was furious with God and was bound determined to walk away from him totally if he took my mom. Mom begged me not too. On one of her many hospital stays she was in quite a bit of pain and I collapsed totally on the floor of my room because I absolutely couldn't deal with seeing my mom like that. I pleaded and pleaded with God not to let my mom suffer. The next morning I went to see my mom again. She was sitting up in a chair in her hospital room and looked better then she had in weeks. I then glanced and saw that she wasn't hooked up to her morphine pump and was ready to jump all over her nurses. She looked it me and said "Kim, I'm pain-free today. All the sudden it was like a miracle and the pain left my body.'' We discussed the time that it happened and it was at the time I was on my knees in prayer when it happened.
My mom never gave up hoping for a cure until her very last death. But, she did have a prayer she always said. It was a prayer to have a happy death when it would come to be. Mom did die a very peaceful death if anyone can have one. She was kept pain-free. She got to see good-bye to all her family and friends. Dad and I held her hands when she took her last breath.
God will be there for each of you when you have nothing more left to give . When you have no more hope. When you are scared and when you are angry. He will never leave you. He will carry you when you can't take another step or another breath.
I can assure that if God had intervened in my life many times. I wouldn't be here today to even type this. He has pulled me through depression many times. He has thrown me a life jacket many times. He can do the same for you. Just let him. You can even quarrel with him. He can take it. Give him a chance. Kim
 
Kim you are absolutely right. I always read the poem "Footprints". It gives me strength for this journey.

Debbie
 
Beautiful story Kim, I agree totally, my 12 year old grandson asked me yesterday if there was a God, why doesn't he cure me. I told him that God can bring good from anything, he sees that the family is closer than ever, I have had the chance to tell people that I love them and they have been able to see me, unafraid, giving God the glory. I found a devotional book, Jesus Calling that has been a real inspiration to me.
 
Kim and Janie, you're both so right on that. Have felt the same way but never had the words to express it
 
KIm that was very moving. Thank you, as I am watching my dad die of cancer. He has had peace lately because the docs are giving him 4 more months of treatment which takes him past the "expiration" date a doc gave him.

I am gong to tell you all of my experience with God. Whether you believe it or not is your choice. When I was in the last weeks of high school I got permission from my parents to participate in senior skip day and go to a party. Well I went and got really drunk (which I know that was stupid). We were on a cliff and for whatever reason I decided to climb down to the river....nearly 60 feet down.

I made it to the first rock landing about 10 feet. A friend was above me trying to get me to come back, of course being stupid I told him I was ok. Well according to him I looked up at him smiled and went over the ledge. I knew I was falling.....I actually watched myself fall....I could see my face...my face looked scared, my mouth was open in a silent scream, my eyes terrified.

I hit the ground after falling about 30 feet. Flat on my back trying to get my body to breath. I landed between a huge rock and a tree. I felt no pain, saw stars but it is hard to explain ....I was not scared. I felt peace, I felt love, a strange feeling of calmness.

My friend carried me back up the hill, where I sat dazed. He decided that I needed to go to the er because once the beer wore off my back hurt and I was bleeding from several cuts.

When I got to the er (no cell phones yet) my dad was there in the next cubicle having a fingered stitched...he didn't know it was me until he heard me cry. My mom had taken a nap that afternoon (mother's intuition) knowing she would need her strength. After many xrays and tests I was put in ICU for observation.

I broke my back in 2 places and the drs were astounded that I was not paralyzed being carried and riding in an old pickup to the er. I spent 3 1/2 weeks in the hospital.

Long story short...I believe God was there as I fell, teaching me how stupid I was and made sure I saw how stupid I was.He guided my fall, insuring I landed where I did and not at the bottom another 20 feet down which I am sure I would not have survived. He was there as I lay on the ground, he was there in the er making sure my dad was there even though he was hurt. He made my mom take a nap and he really performed a miracle in making sure I was whole and not paralyzed. I say my thanks everyday. I talk to him everyday.

I never told my parents of the experience of falling. Didn't want to scare them any more than I did. I have told very few people because it was such a personal experience. I don't know why I am now except maybe someone can find comfort in the knowledge that he is there for them. I know he is with me helping me with the disease I have now and he is with you too. God bless.
 
I don't talk often about my experiences with God for a number of reasons. My life has been very, very complicated, so trying to explain any one part of it enough for an honest story takes a ton of backstory and explanation. I'm even more reticent to do that on the internet in a public-facing forum than I am in physical public location.

Another reason I rarely speak of those things is the realization that I don't understand them well enough to do them justice. It is only looking at the ripple effects across time of past experiences that I begin to glean even a bit of true vision on the subject. I don't think I'll ever have the perspective in this life to really even describe those experiences properly. I'm still waiting for the montage at the end of the movie that explains everything. ;)

I have prayed prayers to God that would make the most hard core lamenting psalmist blush to say such things to Him. I have received amazing and sudden blessings, and I have been left to sit in the dark and the cold for long periods of time. My 19 year anniversary of constant pain is coming up this fall. I have seen small things blossom into beautiful things, and I have put amazing amounts of effort into things that seemed to go nowhere. There have been periods of my life when I felt like I understood what to do, and others that have just left me floundering with no idea of where to go next.

My true testimony is that I can pray Psalm 22(23) in honesty, despite it all:

"The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not want; he makes me lie down in green pastures. He leads me beside still waters; he restores my soul. He leads me in paths of righteousness for his name’s sake. Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I fear no evil; for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff, they comfort me. Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of my enemies; thou anointest my head with oil, my cup overflows. Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life; and I shall dwell in the house of the Lord for ever."

I can't put it any better than David.
 
Interesting topic ...

My experiences with God ..

1- A born again bunch ~1968
2- Simon & Garfunkel ~ 1975
3-Marriage 8/78
4-Treachery ?/80
5-resurrection 80-14
6-reality 2013
**** god
 
Mom's journey just ended May 3. From the 10 months from diagnosis to death, my faith was all over the place. Some days I swore I would never go back to church. How could I sing praises to a God who let my mother get in the terrible condition she was in. How could a loving God not help me deal with this horrible disease? How, Why, How, Why. Then one day I noticed I wasn't blaming God anymore. Just happened over time. The local newspaper's religion writer had this to say when describing how he felt when his wife & mother were both going through cancer at the same time: "I felt like God was on a long vacation and had turned off the answering machine". Exactly like I felt. But God wasn't gone, he was there all the time carrying us. Don't ever lose faith. God is always there.
 
Hallelujah God is good, Cry out to Jesus. He has a big shoulder and loving arms. He prepares a place for us.
 
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