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notgivnup

Senior member
Joined
Nov 8, 2010
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833
Reason
PALS
Diagnosis
11/2010
Country
OS
State
Darkside of Moon
City
country
Will the sadness ever end?

The surrealness I am feeling right now is as if I am caught in a bad drream the has no happy ending. So many Pals we love, we miss so very much. Loved ones that have passed on, and here we are struggling everyday to find just a sparkle of something to keep us going daily, but none I have found, only sadness and heartbreak all around me. My whole family has completely fallen apart and All are heartbroken.......

I feel as though it is closing in on me like a dark cloud ready to sufficate me............. How do I survive?.....what is the purpose of all the suffering of ourselves, and the suffering of our loved ones?
I know...age old question....but still I question...... am I the only one?

Where did Happiness go?.......Where is Joy?........Where is Peace, Love and Hope?..........there is only emptiness and sorrow left in the wake of all of this.......
All my dreams are shattered.............the final blow has come.......I have no more strength, desire or will for anything right now...........

I must be in the desert........void of anything recognizable..........no light at the end of the tunnel......just sadness and heartbreak........................................................
 
Dear dear Di. I love you and am hurting with you. I'm so sorry things seem so bleak right now Sweetheart. I find joy in the simple miracles we take for granted every day. Sunrises and babies and the kindness of strangers and friends. The love of my family and my love for them. A roof over my head. My ability to see truth and feel love. As much heartache as we must endure I can still see how blessed we are.
Love you Di and will keep you in my prayers.
 
Notgivnup
I feel the same way most of the time, I think for me its the cup half empty thing instead of full! Its terrible and I know we have a choice in how to feel emotionaly, but this disease never lets you forget!
I sit in the house and everyone else is doing things and living and I seem to be in the dark. It is all sort of new as far as a diagnosis but I can't forget, unless some sort of miracle comes I'm/we are all going to suffer terribly and die.I'm sorry to be so negative but I'm a thinker and the living in the moment stuff is at best difficult for me!
In fact I don't know if I even belong posting here because I'm certainly not helping you today.
I do pray everyday many times to help me cope. I just don't know what else to do.
I'm crying with you-- Denny
 
There isn't one person alive today that isn't going to die. We have to learn to see the beauty in love and life while we're here. In my humble opinion we need to try to see the blessings that we have rather than dwelling on what we've lost or what we will lose or what we don't have. I pray for the unfortunate ones in this world that aren't as fortunate as we. This ALS is truly not what I would wish on anyone, granted. But, it is what it is. Our task is to be strong for ourselves and for our loved ones and make the best of what we have left. In my opinion it wouldn't be fair to the ones that have gone before us or the ones we still have if we didn't. I'm sad too but we need to carry on as best we can.
Love,
Marta
 
Di I wish I had some words that could possibly make a difference. I am at a loss. I do care that you are in this deep hole, and I do care about you. Lots of love and big bear hugs.
Laurel
 
Di, I pm'd you. Sending love,
Linda
 
I am so sorry and wished there was something I could say or do that would help. You are always sending out hugs to everyone so I am sending a hug to you.
 
Oh Di, I know you are having a hard time right now. I so wish we were neighbors. You are such a wonderful person, it has really, really been a hard week with us losing so many friends. And you with family stuff on top.I wish it was something I could say or do to help, if it is let me know and I will do my best to make it happen. Anything, just let me know. ((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((BIG HUGS))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))
 
notgiving up , you are not alone i feel the same hugs
 
Big HUGS to ALL of you for your responses to my pity party, thanks for comming. I just needed to let it out. The love and support here has amazed me, I can share my deepest feeling without judgement and remain loved and wanted. So new to me.

From the bottom of what's left of my heart...........THANK YOU ALL!
 
I am also sending you deeply loving thoughts and want you to know how moving your post is. I so wish that I could ease your heart. You have helped so many and please know that you have many who have been blessed by your presence! Sending my support, Jayne
 
Honey i love you and i am crying for you right now.
I have no words and i dont blame you one bit for feeling the way you do. Ive been feeling this way lately too, and what right do I to even think this way? I dont have this beast! I really wish there were an island that all pals were sent to after diagnosis so that I could go help all of them. I love you Di. More than you'll ever know.

No one else has mentioned it here in this thread, so Ive got to say- talk with your dr. if you arent already on antidepressants, get on them. if youre on them.. have them upped or changed. please.
 
moderated... dang it.
 
Hey Di, "Its your Party and you can cry if you want to, " let it out you will feel better. Then we are going to hold our chin up and don't forget...NOT GIVING UP
(((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((HUGH HUGS)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))):)
 
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