Just WOW.
Seriously, I didn't think anyone would really notice if I was here or not. AL, I'm afraid I'm not even answering my phone. Haven't answered it or checked voice mail in weeks other than the calls from local numbers from trying to find a roommate. I just assumed all the non-local calls were people wanting money I just don't have. I still haven't checked voice mails. The phone will likely be turned off when it's due.
I've been very, very depressed. With what all you guys are going through--I felt it would be unfair to be here in that frame of mind.
I won't disappear again. I wouldn't have if I'd realized I'd worry anyone; that's the last thing I'd want to ever do.
Last week was my birthday. I got a text from the person I share an office space with saying "I'm giving up the office on the 30th" so, I lost the only place I could do my classes--just a few weeks after giving up my other office location because he convinced me it was silly to pay on two spaces. So now, I have none.
I lost all my things in storage because I couldn't pay the bill. I'm going to lose my apartment on the 11th because my roommate moved out while my daughter and I were out for the day. So--I can't pay the rent--other than my half. I've never been even a day late on it before--and got the 3 day notice yesterday. It's not even a week late yet. I'm having no luck finding a new roommate.
With no office, i can't teach my classes--hell, I can't even get the supplies out of the space because I don't own a truck to get them out.
As I said--things are very, very bad right now.
I do check my email daily and got an email yesterday from Amy, so I came in only to find over 20 PMs from my friends here--again, my apologies. I really didn't think I'd be missed.
I came here first for my own health issues--and have stayed so long because I've wanted to help anyone I could. I guess I have felt pretty useless, and didn't feel I had the right to bring that here to the forums with all the issues you guys are living with.
My health is getting worse--and I can't go to the doctor--not because of insurance, as I have insurance--but because I can't afford the co-pays. I haven't filled my prescriptions this month as I have to keep the money I have to try and get the rent paid somehow. I sold my manual wheelchair Monday to buy food.
My internet is included in the apartment, or I couldn't be online. I used my change collection to pay for my license tags that expired on my birthday.
When I get like this--I just don't feel useful to anyone.
I must say that my spirits lifted a lot when I realized that I was missed here--again, I swear I won't disappear again.
Thanks to you all
Patty