So stressed out!

[maryc53]

Hey everyone! So I got this new puppy, my family and I thought it might bring us some joy. I really do love it to bits, but I'm having this major depression. I think it's because this is something new in my life and I no longer have a father to share it with. It's been more anxiety and stress then joy right now and I am so confused why? I thought this would help but I find myself feeling sick, not sleeping and barely eating. Really need support and prayers right now! Thanks everyone!

 

[HelenL]

Dearest Mary,

Maybe you're afraid that if you fall in love with the puppy, something will happen to it? Not to mention that puppies are an incredible amount of work; remember they are babies and won't remember anything for more than 30 seconds, whether it's chewing on your hand or chewing on your shoe.

When do you go back to school? Can your Mom have you talk to the counselors there or to a grief counselor? There are so many stages of grief, and you need to work through them, and it's incredibly hard at your age. Please remember that like WILL get better for you, and staying busy is good therapy. There's also nothing wrong with a good cry now and then, but if you feel yourself overwhelmed, you NEED to get someone to talk to about it!

It's good that you're reaching out here, but you should also be talking to a trusted adult about it as well. Sending you prayers and hugs to get you through this.

 

[notgivnup]

Mary, Helen has given you such good advice.
I certainly will be praying for you for Peace, Comfort, and Faith. Know that You are not alone. If you need anything or need to just talk we are always here to listen and help the best we can. ((BIG HUGS))

 

[susanf]

Mary,
Helen is right. Talk to your Mom. I'm sure she's worried to bits if your depressed and not eating. Talk to a counselor at school or have Mom call Hospice counseling to set something up. The more you talk about your feelings the more it will help with the grief.
I know this is a rough road for you. You need to enjoy your new puppy. The puppy needs you
You have my prayers to help you through this. We are all here for you.
Love,
Susan

 

[asantiago]

Mary, I'm so sorry to hear you're struggling. I can completely relate and all I can say is it will get better, but it takes time, lots of time. I lost my mom very suddenly as you did your dad. She went very fast, faster than any PALS I have read about.

I also completely relate to your puppy situation. I was nearly 3 months pregnant when my mom died. When I went into labor which should have been a very exciting and happy moment, all I could do is sob that I couldn't call my mom and tell her it was time. I cried all the way to the hospital with thoughts that she should would never see the baby and that was a full 6 months after she died. My son is almost two and I still look at him when he's doing something amazing and feel my eyes well up that she isn't here to see it.

I cried regularly the first year maybe year and a half. In fact I'm surprised I didn't lose my job because I became borderline dysfunctional. All I could do is cry and miss her. So everything you're going through is normal. One of my favorite quotes is "the only way out is through". You will just need to go through this and give yourself the time to grieve and feel the loss.

Other life problems led me to visit a counselor about a year and half after my mom died. I found once I got there what I wanted to talk most about was my mom more so than the latest life catastrophe. Maybe you would benefit from visiting a counselor if you haven't already. I know it really helped me processes a lot of things left unprocessed.

The good news is it has been 2.5 years and I am much more at peace with it. It still hurts, I still dream about her almost nightly, I still think of her daily, and I still just wish more than ever she was still here. BUT I rarely cry in fact I can't remember the last time I did and life is easier, the distress is gone and I am functional again, well most days but the days I'm not I now blame having a 2 and 4 year old

Hugs!

 

[notme]

As everyone else has said, you need to talk to people that can understand. I lost my dad when I was 17. I still miss him, but now, years later, I can remember him and smile. I can hear something he'd say and think "Yeah, Daddy would say that".

What you're feeling is going to take time to work though. All of us here can emphasize with you. Don't think of the puppy as a way to 'replace' something, but as something new to enjoy. With time, it will.

If you're very sad and depressed, please talk to your mom if you can; I'd be willing to bet she's sad to--and it's parental instinct to make things better for our kids--so she might even try to hide her pain from you. You can be there for each other. If you're truly concerned that talking to her will make her worry more--then find someone else.

I don't know if you're religious, but I like to think that at those special times in my life my dad was watching down on me. You can always post here when you need to vent--and we will always listen. ALS doesn't just affect the victim-it affects all those that love them. Remember the happy times with your father; he'd like that, I'm sure.

My wish for my own daughter is that when I pass away, she can remember me and smile. I need to know she will do that one day. Going on with life with someone so important gone is very, very hard. It's unfair. You'll always miss him. Your entire family will. But as long as he's still in your hearts, he's alive. A part of him lives within you and any children you have down the road.

If I was there, I'd offer a hug.