Status
Not open for further replies.

shelleynshaggy

Distinguished member
Joined
Sep 2, 2009
Messages
280
Diagnosis
08/2009
Country
US
State
OH
City
Brunswick
Just had to scream...

My mom called to "warn" me dad is on his rampage again.

Apparently he found 2 gas station receipts for the same day so he is convinved mom is giving me $$ and is furious at her. Thing is the receipt is not mine - BUT she did lend me money to prevent gas from being turned off this week. I AM SO HURT. I have sat here a cried all day - just fuming at him - really to get that mad cause he thinks I borrowed $20?

I polished up a letter a wrote 3 months ago and have decided to send it to him in a Father's Day card or Birthday card - thing is my sister and her family is supposed to be staying with them for a month starting this weekend. I am afraid that if I send it now she and my mom will get the backlash from it - in fact I know they will.

On the other hand, if I don't send it I am afraid I will loose my nerve and this will keep eating at me. I am sitting here right now fighting the urge to drive the letter over right now.
:mad:
 
Shelley,

What in the world? Your Dad won't help you out and your Mom has to sneak money to lend to you? Why? Perhaps I've missed something somewhere regarding the dynamics between you, your family and your Dad?

Your sister is a big girl. Would she not stand up for you? Your Mom already is taking it on the chin, so go ahead and let your feelings be known. He's obviously already peeved and I'm sure as the weekend looms he will have the attitude with him still.

What is your Dad's problem? For God's sake, you have enough on your hands without this pettiness! Does your Dad have an impairment? I'm sorry, I just can't keep everything straight sometimes on everyone's situation.

I wish you luck!
 
CJ -
Wish I could explain it.... but as a family we don't get it! We really think he thinks his casket will come with an ATM card. He gets upset when mom spends to much time or money at the grocery store - I know - wtf? He will be 75 next month and getting open heart surgery.

He gets mad for mom lending me money, but then buys my 6 yr old a $85 dollar telescope for her Bday - now he's mad she hasn't used it. Hello? She's 6, her Bday is in Feb and we live in OHIO?!? Sorry dad - we didn't see stars in the cloud filled sky while standing in 3 feet of snow!

My sister will stick up for me - but he will make her stay hell. I know what will happen - he'll avoid me and yell at them. Over Xmas he decided that my sister and her family wore out there welcome starting an argument then!

He is getting worse with age - no one is ever right but him - and everyone seems to walk on eggsells around him. At this point I could care less if he didn't talk to me - but the rest of my family shouldn't pay for it!
 
OOOHHH! I had a grandfather exactly like that! No ATMs back then, but by golly he wasn't going to spend a dime on something that was needed, especially not for my grandmother. I get the picture!

Well, just don't fret it! You do what you think is best in your heart. You've been through it, but it is still hurtful when it continues to happen. Your mother will have to become more clandestine! LOL
 
Last edited:
It never fails to amaze me how incompassinate some people can be. Especially when it is your own family. Whatever happened to love, compassion, respect? I am sorry you have to go through this on top of everything else you have to deal with. I hope things change for you.
NancyS
 
Dear friend? I am so so sorry you are going through this. Could you not ask Stu for help -go to guardian angels and fill in the form - if you are having financial problems? Better than your poor mother having to face your father's bad behaviour, surely. Please try it...........
Lots of love and again, so so sorry
 
Dear Shelley, I'm new here but have to say - your Dad is a poot. I'm angry at him for this and don't even know ya'll. I hope that when his heart is open during that open heart surgery, that compassion, love, and understanding get inside it. Mary
 
i can not answer that , my hubby is the same way i like to knock him out sometimes ... he is a man who gets stressed over nothing i have finally realized this is anxiety with him .. he wants to make sure we have enough for ourselves and he knows i am a giving person so he don't trust me lol ... he was with my dad one time at daytona beach and a man came up and asked him for a cigarette and my hubby told him to go find a job my dad was in shock .. my dad is the type that would of gave him 3 lol ...he never got over that ...my hubby got laid off 3 yrs ago it took him 3 years to find a job but , now understands why this man may have asked for a cigarette ...just last night i went to go to my sons house so he could try the liquid medicine for thyroid i just got as neither one of us can tolerate the pill form my husband was having his himmy fit saying i only got it so i could give it to billy not true , so i left then half way there my hubby called me and said for me to give it to him i said no he said why ...because i need it , thought he was trying to prove a point he repeated let him have it , no i said ( i would have thou lol ) finally i said why my husband said because he needs it more than you and he meant it .... and this is my husband and the way he deals with things ... billy has his own i found out when i got there the drug store was ordering it because billy wife told the doctor there was a liquid form and she found it and ordered it but his is the type i been trying to get for months because the f.d.a. approved it but no one in the u.s.a. sells it and i called drug stores also so mine is compounded in a liquid and his in a gel cap ... i am so jealous lol .... but this is the way my man is .... lol we use to sneak my daughters laundry to do in my house also that would flip him out and she is his favorite his baby lol ... they are just looking out for thier own surivial is the way i see it
 
Mary,

I had to laugh: "your Dad is a poot" Must be a southern thang! I could just hear Scarlet saying, "You sir, are a poot!"
 
Brooksea ! I never thought it - but you're probably right - I'm a native Houstonian and have never lived anywhere but Texas - so being a poot might be a texas thang - I still say fiddlestix and fiddle-faddle - my own "f" words :) ! Happy Mother's Day to all the mothers out there!
 
lol southern thing - my dad was from north carolina i live near boston ,ma
 
Shelly,
I am sorry you have to deal with the family dynamic's. My dad was like that also everyone in the family walked on egg shells around him except me. I think alot of it came from growing up with nothing and wanting to prove he had something. My dad would give his shirt off his back to a stranger but not to any off us, I think it was his need to be recognized by others. He died 30 years ago but when he was dying he refused to discuss his finances with my mom so I stepped up and had the discussion for her. That went over like a lead ballon he was so set in his mind that he was right and we were wrong that he left her with his debts and 50% of his state retirement. He could have claimed all of it before he died but in his selfish thinking he did it for spite. Giving him the letter will not melt his self centered heart, I learned a long time ago that my anger for him was just poison in my life. I was being angry about something that was not in my control and learned to let it go. He is who he is! Shame he can't seem to see what he is missing. Oh did I mention I married a miser too! He has learned through the years that money does not buy happiness. I think he figured out the more he Bi***ed the more I spent so he learned to adjust. lol Just live your life and be happy.
Big hugs Judy
 
Judy -
I think you are right. My dad does things when he gets the recognition from others for it. I have decided to tuck the letter back away for now - one day it may make me better to send it - but right now I think it will create more headaches and heartbreak
 
How bout just sending it to yourself? Put it in the mail and wait for it, then read it! It would probably be therapeutic for you!

Well, I need to take my own advice sometimes! LOL
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back
Top