Are all women like this?

[joelc]

First I want to make something very clear – I adore my wife.

Here is my question; Do all women have to give 3 choices and ask 3 questions before waiting for an answer?

Here is an example, I am asked if I would like a glass of water.
I shake my head acknowledging “yes”.
Then she says, would you not rather have a cup of coffee, or some juice, or some ice tea?
I shake my head acknowledging “no”.
Then she says, but water is so boring.
I then indicate I don't care what I drink, I am thirsty, give me anything you want.
By the time this is all over I can go all day without drinking anything because she does not approve of my choice.

I can give many more examples of this, but I think you get the point.

I used to do everything for myself and her, now that I can't this is getting a bit ridiculous and frustrating. Am I alone?

 

[asantiago]

I don't know about ALL women, but I admit I am guilt of the same SORRY!

 

[thelma313]

I think it is normal for you to get a little frustrated. I see it happen with my parents too. My mom is going out of her way and most of the time, my dad just wants to keep it simple. I believe at the root of your frustration is knowing that you can't just get up and pour yourself a glass of water on a whim but instead having to go through a whole rigmarole whenever you want one. It would annoy anyone.

At the core of this issue is that your sweet wife is overcompensating for your condition and you just want to keep things as normal as possible. I understand and sympathize with both sides.

I'm glad you have this forum to vent your frustrations Joel. You give us so much and share so much wisdom that you should be allowed to vent too... whenever you want! What I find touching is how much love is between you and your wife. It's just normal that little quirks will get to you!

 

[BethU]

Sorry, Joel ... I say, count your blessings that you have someone to pour your water and is concerned enough about your comfort to offer you a variety of treats.

I have the opposite problem with our new male caregiver. I typed, "please put the flowers on the hearth." Plop it goes on the end of the hearth. "No you idiot, center it! What is WRONG with men!?!" Fortunately, I can't speak, so I don't offend him. I wait till the female caregiver arrives, and we put it right.

I think it's the battle of the sexes, not anything to do with ALS. Men's brains are just wired wrong!

 

[DebbieR]

I am quilty of this as well. Asking way too many questions for a simple request.

 

[DgtofTNfan]

Rosella said it better than I could. Sorry for your frustration.

Hubby claims I make things too complicated. Hmm...

 

[GlenBrittle]

Joel,

The ones I know are. They must have secret classes in school for this stuff.

Glen

 

[GlenBrittle]

I think it's the battle of the sexes, not anything to do with ALS. Men's brains are just wired wrong!

What can be wrong ?

We want something to eat
something to drink
and something nekkid.

And your problem with that is ?

 

[KeeKer]

Ah, fresh meat from the other side to attack now! Ok girls, go get him!lol

 

[BarryG]

Joel, I hear what you are saying. My case is more like Beth's, I am still able to do most stuff for myself and most of the time it is much easier for me to just do something than to try ask someone else to do it for me. I agree with Glen (surprise, surprise), we are not wired wrong, just different. As far as his men's three wants, the first two are out for me but the third?....

 

[Zaphoon]

My wife will ask if I'd like a glass of water and when I say yes, she asks if I have a glass out that I'm already using. If not, she asks which glass would I prefer to drink from and then of course, how full do you want it? Would you like ice? It drives me nuts but her intentions are good.

Same thing with a morning cup of coffee:

Which cup would you like to drink from?

How many seconds would you like it warmed up in the microwave for?

Would you like some ice to cool it down? One ice cube or two?

Yes, it goes on and on but I know the questions are coming and I know she cares enough to ask (or maybe she is trying to drive me nuttier than a 7 lb fruit cake).

Zaphoon

 

[sadiemae]

Kim, I am also guilty of all the questions your wife asks, but if I dont ask, its the wrong cup, not enough ice, coffee to hot, and so forth. Lori

 

[BethU]

We want something to eat
something to drink
and something nekkid.

You want to eat fast food, fancy or home cooking, chips, candy, dessert?
You want to drink cold, hot, room temp, in a cup, can, glass or from the tap?
Here, Fido!

 

[rose]

I don't do that, but.... I do hear myself ask "are you sure?" when he turns an offer down. BUT I don't keep asking.

It sounds like maybe, like Rosella offered, she (your wife) may be over compensating because she wants to give the best, but also, it maybe its fallen into a habitual type of dialog interchange

 

[joelc]

Sorry, Joel ... I say, count your blessings that you have someone to pour your water and is concerned enough about your comfort to offer you a variety of treats.

I have the opposite problem with our new male caregiver. I typed, "please put the flowers on the hearth." Plop it goes on the end of the hearth. "No you idiot, center it! What is WRONG with men!?!" Fortunately, I can't speak, so I don't offend him. I wait till the female caregiver arrives, and we put it right.

I think it's the battle of the sexes, not anything to do with ALS. Men's brains are just wired wrong!

LOL. That is the point Beth. She does not pour my water, I do not end up with anything.

Women's brains are wired wrong. Depends on what side of the fence you are sitting on. LOL.

It is comforting to know I am not alone with this!