halfin
Senior member
- Joined
- Jun 29, 2009
- Messages
- 540
- Reason
- PALS
- Diagnosis
- 08/2009
- Country
- US
- State
- CA
- City
- Santa Barbara
Last night for the first time I experienced the inappropriate laughter some people have described, what is called emotional lability. (Wikipedia: "Lability refers to something that is constantly undergoing change or something that is likely to undergo change.")
For some time I've noticed that when I try to tell a joke, or hear one, I laugh harder than I should. In fact I can hardly tell a joke anymore, I laugh too much to get the words out easily, and of course nothing spoils a joke more than for the teller to be laughing too hard to tell it. I also have been tearing up more but that I figured is understandable trying to come to grips with this diagnosis and what it could mean. So I haven't worried too much about these reactions.
But last night my wife accidentally almost cut off the head of our dog, at least that was how it looked from my angle. Luckily the dog was unharmed, but I gave a loud, strangled gasp of horror, which is how I usually react to surprise. Rather than caution my wife about carelessness, I didn't say anything, since I could see that she belatedly realized what she had done. I just calmly got a spoon and continued dishing myself some ice cream. This is kind of a passive-aggressive thing that I do, where I don't say anything in a situation of some emotional urgency, and is kind of a bad and nasty habit.
Suddenly the situation struck me as funny, that something so awful had almost happened, and I was pretending to ignore it, and I couldn't help it, I started laughing. This kind of spoils my attempt to maintain a stoic silence, which just made me laugh harder. She of course asks what's so funny, and that made me laugh even worse. It was really disturbing because I am usually very good at keeping my mouth shut.
Anyway I calmed down, everything was fine, but that night as we were getting to bed she said, I guess maybe you *do* have ALS. (We have kind of been officially in denial on the diagnosis.) I said that it could still be something else, I'm sure a lot of things cause uncontrollable laughter. But she got very sad and was saying oh, how terrible, and such. And once again I couldn't help it, I burst into laughter.
This was really an inappropriate reaction, needless to say. But somehow it struck me as funny, she is sad for me, but the truth is I don't even care that much about all this stuff, I can adapt to anything. I am mostly worried about her and how she will handle it. So she's sad for me, I'm worried about her, and it just seemed funny, and I couldn't control it. I burst into laughter, and once again, the fact that I was laughing so inappropriately somehow made me laugh more. I apologized over and over again while laughing.
Well, it seemed to kind of cheer her up eventually, at least she got over her sadness a bit (maybe she was hiding it so I wouldn't keep laughing). Then we both ended up crying. What a mess.
Luckily today I feel OK again, but if that keeps happening I guess I should ask the doctor about it. I understand there is a medicine that works pretty well.
For some time I've noticed that when I try to tell a joke, or hear one, I laugh harder than I should. In fact I can hardly tell a joke anymore, I laugh too much to get the words out easily, and of course nothing spoils a joke more than for the teller to be laughing too hard to tell it. I also have been tearing up more but that I figured is understandable trying to come to grips with this diagnosis and what it could mean. So I haven't worried too much about these reactions.
But last night my wife accidentally almost cut off the head of our dog, at least that was how it looked from my angle. Luckily the dog was unharmed, but I gave a loud, strangled gasp of horror, which is how I usually react to surprise. Rather than caution my wife about carelessness, I didn't say anything, since I could see that she belatedly realized what she had done. I just calmly got a spoon and continued dishing myself some ice cream. This is kind of a passive-aggressive thing that I do, where I don't say anything in a situation of some emotional urgency, and is kind of a bad and nasty habit.
Suddenly the situation struck me as funny, that something so awful had almost happened, and I was pretending to ignore it, and I couldn't help it, I started laughing. This kind of spoils my attempt to maintain a stoic silence, which just made me laugh harder. She of course asks what's so funny, and that made me laugh even worse. It was really disturbing because I am usually very good at keeping my mouth shut.
Anyway I calmed down, everything was fine, but that night as we were getting to bed she said, I guess maybe you *do* have ALS. (We have kind of been officially in denial on the diagnosis.) I said that it could still be something else, I'm sure a lot of things cause uncontrollable laughter. But she got very sad and was saying oh, how terrible, and such. And once again I couldn't help it, I burst into laughter.
This was really an inappropriate reaction, needless to say. But somehow it struck me as funny, she is sad for me, but the truth is I don't even care that much about all this stuff, I can adapt to anything. I am mostly worried about her and how she will handle it. So she's sad for me, I'm worried about her, and it just seemed funny, and I couldn't control it. I burst into laughter, and once again, the fact that I was laughing so inappropriately somehow made me laugh more. I apologized over and over again while laughing.
Well, it seemed to kind of cheer her up eventually, at least she got over her sadness a bit (maybe she was hiding it so I wouldn't keep laughing). Then we both ended up crying. What a mess.
Luckily today I feel OK again, but if that keeps happening I guess I should ask the doctor about it. I understand there is a medicine that works pretty well.
Always something new.
