Old 05-17-2016, 01:36 PM #16 (permalink)
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Default Re: Man Up - Grow a Pair

I think Pete's advice can be taken to apply to both a PALS and a CALS. Frankly, I've been treated like a "problem" a "burden" and even a "hypochondriac" by family members and a few friends. "Quit running to doctors" was a phrase a relative kept saying....even after my diagnosis. Sorry, but I REALLY needed to get my constipation under control and I'm glad I did go to the gastro....and the dentist.....and the eye doctor.
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Old 05-17-2016, 02:01 PM #17 (permalink)
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Default Re: Man Up - Grow a Pair

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But I also believe that some of those "glass half empty" personalities have been through hell in their formative years, and thus became that way due to lack of some of the basics like love and support in their youth.
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By most peoples standards I went through he11 growing up. But frankly, I don't care. Part of growing up is being responsible for your action. People who blame their up bringing and point to psychologist saying that they have a low self esteem, blah, blah, blah, are the biggest part of the problem.
Take responsibility for your own action rather than blaming them on others - and need to grow a pair!
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Old 05-17-2016, 02:17 PM #18 (permalink)
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Default Re: Man Up - Grow a Pair

Pete, I have nothing to add here except my admiration for you. What I got from your original post was don't use your condition as an excuse for treating people poorly or without thought for their feelings. You are absolutely right.
Kim, going to the doctor is absolutely what you should do! You deserve care and attention. And anyone who has experienced what you have would absolutely agree. Constipation is the worst.
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Old 05-17-2016, 03:28 PM #19 (permalink)
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Default Re: Man Up - Grow a Pair

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By most peoples standards I went through he11 growing up. But frankly, I don't care. Part of growing up is being responsible for your action. People who blame their up bringing and point to psychologist saying that they have a low self esteem, blah, blah, blah, are the biggest part of the problem.
Take responsibility for your own action rather than blaming them on others - and need to grow a pair!
I'll second that too Pete. I had a difficult growing up--following the fruit crops and living in labor camps with parents who didn't really want to parents, but I am a glass is half full person.
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Old 05-17-2016, 07:04 PM #20 (permalink)
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Default Re: Man Up - Grow a Pair

I think there comes a point in life, at least it did for me, where I was surrounded by negative people. I had to learn to be positive, resourceful, and rely on myself for many different things. It has made me much stronger and be able to cope with things that have happened since. I work very hard to help my son see things in a more positive way.

For exa,ple, before Steve was diagnosed, Julien and I fought a lot. We are too much alike. Steve'als diagnosis made it so we had to work as a team and get along. So for me, als gave us the gift of a great relationship. It exacted a high price but I look at it as a final gift from Steve.
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Old 05-18-2016, 01:33 AM #21 (permalink)
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Default Re: Man Up - Grow a Pair

I admire your honesty Pete. I have read so many of your posts and in doing so 8 have learned a lot. You are a wonderful husband, father, man and PAL. I had a very bad childhood and for years the past made my decisions not the future. Once i stopped using my past as excuse, I was able to create a wonderful present and future. Both PALS and CALS can man-up as there are times we both let the burden of ALS take over our life's. I think we all have been on the pitty train for a least one ride and most of us know when to get off.

I think we all learn to quickly that we should cease each day by not looking backwards or forwards. Thanks for speaking from your heart Pete.
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Old 05-25-2016, 06:30 PM #22 (permalink)
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Default Re: Man Up - Grow a Pair

Please understand that this thread was never to imply that those going through abuse from their CALS should just "Grin and Bear it". It was to say that we should try and serve those who love and serve us. That our live should be about caring for those who care for us. I sincerely apologize if I insensitively offend those who do not have the loving care that I have experienced.
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Old 05-25-2016, 07:30 PM #23 (permalink)
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Default Re: Man Up - Grow a Pair

I don't think you were really misunderstood Pete.

The other thread was written in a moment of desperation and I feel he was honestly stuck at the time of writing with wondering whether he was in as bad a situation as he knew in his heart he was in.

This is just as important a discussion as any other and I am sure has given everyone things to think about from whatever side of things they are viewing it from.
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Old 05-25-2016, 07:40 PM #24 (permalink)
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Default Re: Man Up - Grow a Pair

Thank you, Tillie
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Old 05-25-2016, 07:46 PM #25 (permalink)
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Default Re: Man Up - Grow a Pair

Never start a thread about growing a pair and end it with an apology because the whole world didn't appreciate the obvious good nature for which it was originally intended. That's grounds for immediate castration!

We've become so guarded in our speech it seems the universe has become a sterile, 'safe space' indifferent to the real struggles & issues people face on a daily basis. I appreciate civility & polite banter but sometimes I feel like getting in touch with my lower self and engaging in rants comprised of nothing but foul, offensive language. Indeed, profanity can be very therapeutic

We need threads like this to keep us in touch with our humanity, our sense of humor and our compassion.‎

Growing a pair means strength, kindness, conviction, humility, appreciation, personal responsibility and many other things. It also means respect which begins with each one of us. You won't respect another human being if you haven't the courage to respect you first. I have a 'pair' I keep in my purse. I stole them from a friend who won't get them back until he divorces his cheating wife and I've made that perfectly clear. He texts me daily "Can I have my balls back now, please??" It's a running joke between us because I've had his gonads for well over a year No, no one should 'settle' for abuse or neglect. ‎No, we don't all share the same fortune but we need not feel bad about sharing that which enriches our lives (or serves as a reminder of the goodness that still exists) out of fear of making others feel bad their own.

This group is made up of the strongest, most compassionate people you will ever find. There's enough support for everyone and when someone posts a thread where support is needed, it's offered in abundance. There's also a time to share in the good, let loose and lighten the load - and I hope people will continue to do so without fear or guilt. ‎
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