i give up

[stumble]

I have a hospital in my and I have an room commode
I have nice electric wheelchair
I have people who feed me, bathe me and a volunteer who takes me for walks
my daughter bought a van to take to to advents and she woks across the hall from mine and to do becccn she comes to my defense.

I have everything a PAL needs

But am not happy my now disformed arm and frozen shoulder
I'm not happy about seeping in one position all night,
I'm happy when I'm carefully placed my wheelchair

I” have my indwelling catheter

I told my Hospice nurse I want no bippap or no vent and shes fine with that.

I have extreme trouble on the computer because I have bring myself to the keyboard

I just can.t do this forever

Sandy

 

[bigmark1954]

So sorry to hear of your dilemma....it breaks my heart that you are giving up. I understand how bad days and an accumulation of problems can bring you down.
Consider changing or adding an anti-depressant to help you relax, and take the angst way.
Wish I could be there just to give you a hug.


..........tomorrow will be a better day..........................

 

[AfraidButNotAlone]

I get that completely. I keep thinking that I am not here for me, but for those who help me. I figure it is an opportunity to allow others to grow in Grace. It sucks, but I figure it can always be worse.

Stay strong. Keep the Faith. May God bless you and keep you close to Him.

 

[davbo49]

for about 25 years i have to set on a hard chair sitting up right. the sleep at night o if i find a spot . should i of gave up. this als im not going to give up on it ether.

 

[skipper66]

Sandy,
I will pray for you. I don't want to push religion on someone but I suggest you cry out to God to help you in all of this. He will comfort you and give you the grace to carry on. You can even yell at him. He can take it. We all care on here. Vent and scream on here all you want. Sending you lots of love and a virtual hug from us all. Hang in there. Don't let this damn disease take your spirit too. Kim

 

[MaxEidswick]

>I just can.t do this forever

Sandy, that is the truth. but we can today. Hang in there!

 

[cheerleader]

Max, how true! One day at a time!

 

[Atsugi]

Sometimes it's just one minute at a time.

A lot of our attitude is totally dependent on the way you think about things.

Tell your doctor to look at your anti-depressants. Adding Abilify improved the effectiveness of my Effexor greatly. My happiness factor zoomed. I look at the bad things and they don't bother me so much anymore. It's been a real improvement in my quality of life.

 

[Santa joe]

Sending you hugs and love today.

Debbie

 

[skipper66]

Caution: I was on Abilify and I might be a very rare case scenario but I had a severe side affect to it called Tardive dysknesia (sp?). I actually felt emotionally great while on it. But, my back started stiffening up and I had severe back pain. Then my co-workers and family noticed that my face was doing some weird stuff and I looked like I had a stroke. My doctor said they caught it just in time or it would have been irreversible. But, then again mine probally was just a weird case.
I have used many antidepressants since I was a teenager and they do help. But, some of the side affects can really be awful too at times. If you get on one make sure they start out with the lowest dose possible.

 

[affected]

Sandy, I'm so sorry this disease sucks to badly for everyone.

I think that you need some anti depression medication help. No it won't change your situation, it won't make you joyful and happy all the time. But it can take that desperate feeling edge off things for you.

Chris and I were both on anti depressants. For Chris it made a lot of difference that I could see, he did not fly into rages anymore, and he began to sleep for the first time in about 18 months.

Taking them allowed me to cope.

Don't be scared about side effects, your own doctor will work with you to choose the right one for you, and help monitor that it is helping and with no effects.

And lastly it won't got on forever, and I'm glad you can come here and vent about how you are feeling. It's too much to look at all at once, one day at a time is often too much.

Please do talk to your doctor and get some help, I'm sure most of us here are on medications for depression and/or anxiety. You are suffering through one of the worst things imaginable, take all the help you can please.

 

[MaxEidswick]

>You are suffering through one of the worst things imaginable, take all the help you can please.

Ditto that!

 

[nebrhahe53]

I too feel like giving up. I really don't feel human anymore. tubes are sticking out of my body, each day I feel more of myself disappearing. There is no future to look forward to, Except one of increasing disability and pain.
I went to a clinic last week and met some ALS patients. One of them was diagnosed the same day I was and I had a hard time understanding him. A lady was there who was diagnosed in 2011. She was in a wheelchair, could not speak and could barely move. She started crying and I could not even understand why, except perhaps from the pain of her situation. The neuro was quite honest with me. There will be nothing in our lifetime to help. I have a very hard time living day to day knowing what's in store.

 

[Atsugi]

I'm concerned about Stumble. She's not signed on since she left this "I'm giving up" post. Should we get the Woodbury PD to do a welfare check? Does anyone have a clue what her name or address might be?

 

[affected]

Mike her daughter has a membership here, I can find it if I think hard about when she posted in response to something stumble said recently. Stumble is living with her.

Found it - damanda

Maybe Nikki can send an email as moderator to her daughter and say we are all thinking of her or something like that?

If you log on in the meantime stumble, we are all sending you some love.