How to handle hankshakes?

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mbmurray

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Joined
Jan 10, 2013
Messages
117
Reason
PALS
Diagnosis
01/2013
Country
US
State
VA
City
NOVA
Well my right arm is to the point where I can't raise it much above my waist and really hard to straighten most fingers. I can still walk unassisted, no bulbar issues and my left arm is weaker but still functional.

When I go to church or meet people at work (those who don''t know I have als) and they extend their hand for a shake, I don't know what to do. Everything I think of to do feels awkward, right now I use my left arm to lift right to perform shake. Do I just str8 up say sorry unable to shake hands?
 
My right arm is like yours so I shake hands with my left hand. When I see someone get close enough where they may want to shake, I lift my left arm and hand with a smile. Being more confident helps the other person feel better about shaking hands.
 
my husband is not able to move his hands at all and still people who don't know him try to shake his hand. He just smiles and shakes his head. they are usually so embarrassed because they realize he can't and feel guilty/bad.

I don't like for them to feel embarrassed because they were treating him like a regular guy--and I don't like for you to feel awkward either. It is what it is--so yes just say, thanks, but I cant shake hands. shaking hands is just a social nicety and not anything to get upset about.
 
What handshakes? LOL

After my recent bout of pneumonia - my aim is not to shake hands, hug or kiss people this Christmas season. Paranoid? Probably - but I am scared silly of getting sick again and there are nasty flus going around right now.

Bah humbug maybe - but them there are my new rules. I think most people will understand (and may even be privately relieved).
 
Hi Elaine,
that is not paranoid it is very smart and proactive--I have the same rules :)

Rick
 
I know I dread shaking hands with people at church during flu season. One of our former priests used to cancel it during flu season. We just greeted everyone with a smile. We are going to visit my dad soon and we are going to have to do alot of handwashing and cutting down on the hugs. Kim
 
Tim just raises his left hand and tells them that the other doesn't work. I think his wheelchair makes things quite evident, and everyone is cool with it. Thankfully some of the super strong hand shakers have slacked off since he started offering his left hand. He can't get his hands up to his mouth so we don't worry about colds and flu's. I am very careful with my hand hygiene, but have always been due to my job.
 
My PALS hands are clawed and he can't get his hands to his mouth now. I'm always amazed when someone tries to shake hands with him ON LEAVING after a visit and think - um what did you not notice?
 
It will be awkward for the other person, no matter what you try. I found that if I was quick enough as they extended their hand, to say " he isn't able to shake your hand, but he does appreciate it if you grasp his hand with yours."
I said this in another post today - the more people are exposed to those that aren't the "normal", the better off we will all be accepting all different types of disabilities and people.

Mary
 
When I could talk, depending on how the situation was, I'd say with a smile "Sorry, arms and hands don't work so just grab my hand and shake it for me please." or "Sorry, arms and hands don't work so consider yourself shook. "

Seemed to work pretty good.
 
I prefer it when others do not reach and grabb my hands. I usually call out "props" or "respect knuckles".
 
Props? I haven't heard that one before, what does it mean?
 
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