Thanks Laurel, and do not worry about being bossy. Sedation is something L has discussed with me and his medical team, and he wants it at the very end of his life. Even then, I feel it will be very hard for me to accept this, but I would respect his wishes and see it as an act of kindness. Since my last post he has decided to try to go through the night without Ativan, and he has slept and was fairly comfortable. It is there if/when he needs it, I just felt this was given in my absence ( I was away for one week) to keep him calm, and to make his carers' nights more manageable, rather then because he felt he needed it night after night and asked for it.
Dani