Toto's Dorothy
Very helpful member
- Joined
- Jan 31, 2012
- Messages
- 1,033
- Diagnosis
- 11/2008
- Country
- US
- State
- Kansas
- City
- Emerald
Yes, I know how to spell, it was intentional.
I recently went into a tailspin after my sister posted some pics of me during my daughters wedding dress shopping event. This was done on that famous F a c e b o o k site. Now I love my sister very much, but after careful review, I'm questioning that thought! I know its always been, "make yourself look better" approach when choosing your pictures, but come on now, how cruel can one be? All joking aside, it made me look at myself for the first time in a while. And like I said, my metamorphosis ain't on the purty side. Where's my butterfly? I'm looking more like the ugly caterpillar! I hope someone will say, "sounds like me!"
I didn't quite go over my body with a magnifying glass, I sure didn't need to! So I'm going to start at the bottom and work my way up. Feel free to chime in at anytime to ease my worried mind....
So, my feet have turned in with the three middle toes crumpled under. Big toes are pointing up and wee ones are straight. Calves are losing their tone with indentions? on the calf muscle on the inside. The calf itself is floppy (where someone can push on it and it just sways to and fro). As I go up to the thigh its more disheartening. My legs were always very muscular and firm. There was never any flab on them until now. If you lift my leg up, the once toned leg, now flops to the underneath. I would say a good 2 to 3 inches of flab where there once was muscle. You can feel what is still there is rock hard, but for how long it stays GOD only knows. Also the legs are contracted in a backwards Z shape.
Now for the arms, going to save the trunk for last. Heaven knows I don't want you vomiting until the end. My hands are contracted, but can be opened when "massaged". The first part of the fingers are very bony and twisting. The part closest to the hand, is suffering from swelling and I have noticed how much better it is when my fingers are straightened. Unfortunately, from the fingers being in the curled position for such a long time, the tendons or ligaments have shortened causing pain when opened. I also have lumps in the palms of my hands (either tendons or ligaments). The forearms are quite odd. I have a definite slice going from the top of my wrist, gracefully curving to the inside to the underneath of each. It looks like someone tried to take a slice of bread out of the middle of the loaf and then put the rest back together. I just doesn't quite fit. There is noticeable shrinking.
The upper arms are quite shocking. What was once a very little "wave" has become a tidal wave. What muscle that's left is hard to find, the rest is similar to my thighs and has also fallen to the back of my arms. Now this leads me to the shoulders. Not much to say, other than there is very little muscle left front or back. The scapula is very prominent now. No fatback.
And finally we come to the trunk section. I hope you have some phen er gan! To put it nicely, I look like I'm about 7 months pregnant. I am no longer able to sit up, so when I'm sitting in the wheelchair that I have for now, I am usually tilted to the back and one side. And like I said everything from everywhere else has just landed right in the front.
Now, I have not gained or lost anymore weight in the last few months, but if you looked at the pictures you would think I am overweight. I still wear a childrens large pants or shorts but I have had to go up in size in the tops. Its not due to tightness, it has to do with the rotator cuff problems (inability to raise arms).
My body is like 1 giant muscle spasm. The arms are in a v shape with the hands usually close to upper chest. Unless moved, that's where they normally stay. I've started with scoliosis (that I found out at the wheelchair clinic), no doc tor had mentioned this before.
I do hope someone out there can tell me that some of this is similar. As I said before, it ain't purty. And I do have a few words to say to my sister. But of course, I know her reasoning. There's an old saying, "To make yourself look thin, have fat friends." She also could have let me have time to dye my hair and get a haircut!. (I think she will be the first one I come back to haunt.)
So if you are brave, let me know. Is there worse to come? Will this "flabby fat" eventually go away? I hope this doesn't sound vain, but I was hoping to be that beautiful blue morpho butterfly. Not the d@rn ugly caterpillar! Thank you.
PS. To any wannabees, the fa scic u la tions just started a couple of months ago. Right foot, in the arch (was first to go). Left arm, back of the bicep (second to go). None in the left leg (third to go). And last limb was the right arm, in between thumb and first finger. Odd but true.
I recently went into a tailspin after my sister posted some pics of me during my daughters wedding dress shopping event. This was done on that famous F a c e b o o k site. Now I love my sister very much, but after careful review, I'm questioning that thought! I know its always been, "make yourself look better" approach when choosing your pictures, but come on now, how cruel can one be? All joking aside, it made me look at myself for the first time in a while. And like I said, my metamorphosis ain't on the purty side. Where's my butterfly? I'm looking more like the ugly caterpillar! I hope someone will say, "sounds like me!"
I didn't quite go over my body with a magnifying glass, I sure didn't need to! So I'm going to start at the bottom and work my way up. Feel free to chime in at anytime to ease my worried mind....
So, my feet have turned in with the three middle toes crumpled under. Big toes are pointing up and wee ones are straight. Calves are losing their tone with indentions? on the calf muscle on the inside. The calf itself is floppy (where someone can push on it and it just sways to and fro). As I go up to the thigh its more disheartening. My legs were always very muscular and firm. There was never any flab on them until now. If you lift my leg up, the once toned leg, now flops to the underneath. I would say a good 2 to 3 inches of flab where there once was muscle. You can feel what is still there is rock hard, but for how long it stays GOD only knows. Also the legs are contracted in a backwards Z shape.
Now for the arms, going to save the trunk for last. Heaven knows I don't want you vomiting until the end. My hands are contracted, but can be opened when "massaged". The first part of the fingers are very bony and twisting. The part closest to the hand, is suffering from swelling and I have noticed how much better it is when my fingers are straightened. Unfortunately, from the fingers being in the curled position for such a long time, the tendons or ligaments have shortened causing pain when opened. I also have lumps in the palms of my hands (either tendons or ligaments). The forearms are quite odd. I have a definite slice going from the top of my wrist, gracefully curving to the inside to the underneath of each. It looks like someone tried to take a slice of bread out of the middle of the loaf and then put the rest back together. I just doesn't quite fit. There is noticeable shrinking.
The upper arms are quite shocking. What was once a very little "wave" has become a tidal wave. What muscle that's left is hard to find, the rest is similar to my thighs and has also fallen to the back of my arms. Now this leads me to the shoulders. Not much to say, other than there is very little muscle left front or back. The scapula is very prominent now. No fatback.
And finally we come to the trunk section. I hope you have some phen er gan! To put it nicely, I look like I'm about 7 months pregnant. I am no longer able to sit up, so when I'm sitting in the wheelchair that I have for now, I am usually tilted to the back and one side. And like I said everything from everywhere else has just landed right in the front.
Now, I have not gained or lost anymore weight in the last few months, but if you looked at the pictures you would think I am overweight. I still wear a childrens large pants or shorts but I have had to go up in size in the tops. Its not due to tightness, it has to do with the rotator cuff problems (inability to raise arms).
My body is like 1 giant muscle spasm. The arms are in a v shape with the hands usually close to upper chest. Unless moved, that's where they normally stay. I've started with scoliosis (that I found out at the wheelchair clinic), no doc tor had mentioned this before.
I do hope someone out there can tell me that some of this is similar. As I said before, it ain't purty. And I do have a few words to say to my sister. But of course, I know her reasoning. There's an old saying, "To make yourself look thin, have fat friends." She also could have let me have time to dye my hair and get a haircut!. (I think she will be the first one I come back to haunt.)
So if you are brave, let me know. Is there worse to come? Will this "flabby fat" eventually go away? I hope this doesn't sound vain, but I was hoping to be that beautiful blue morpho butterfly. Not the d@rn ugly caterpillar! Thank you.
PS. To any wannabees, the fa scic u la tions just started a couple of months ago. Right foot, in the arch (was first to go). Left arm, back of the bicep (second to go). None in the left leg (third to go). And last limb was the right arm, in between thumb and first finger. Odd but true.
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