Hospice

[BeckyW]

Today we signed up for hospice through our VNA. I know this doesn't mean I have six months left but it's hard to grasp I am eligible. My body mass is low and my breathing weak. I eat a little but I get what I need through my peg. I use a bipap at night. My legs are much weaker and right hand very weak. I have my power chair and I pad so I'm not locked in. I had a wonderful aid with me the last few days when Doug was at a business meeting. She was delight to talk with and she ironed and did some laundry. I look forward to seeing her on Saturday. I really want Doug to go golf with his buddies. This journey is harder for him in some ways. I see stress in his face and know he's not sleeping well. It's getting harder to be upbeat all the time but I don't like pity parties either. I pray that I can hold my grandaughter when she is born in July. I chose not to have a vent but I'll fight as long as I can! T:neutral

 

[laurel]

Becky I admire you so much. I do know that PALS here say how much help hospice is to them--and many like Allen have been on hospice for a long time and it doesn't mean that the end is near. But wow what an a big step with a huge psychological hurdle--it would scare me for sure. Hugs and lots of love to you.
Laurel

 

[cervus]

I admire you too, Becky and feel so much for you. I've heard such amazing things about hospice and the care and help they provide. It is a big step for you. I'm sending you as much strength as I can muster. Take care. Yasmin

 

[kiwisally]

Becky, it sounds to me like you are dealing with the signing up for hospice in a very natural and normal way. Accepting each new loss and necessary service is difficult but you seem to be doing so before it is mandatory and that is so very sensible. Like laurel said, many on here have been with hospice and reporting good results and services for long times. I am sure you will join their ranks. I think it's so thoughtful of you to be so concerned for your Doug, at a time when it would be understandable that your only focus was on yourself. In my opinion your choice not to vent is not an indication that you are not a fighter, far from it. You, like us all, choose our battles and are supported in those choices. I hope to hear back from you soon with news of what a good decision it was to hospice and how well you are doing with their support. Only the best.

 

[10starr]

You will do great. I bet the hospice worker will become your close buddy, like the aid. You have a wonderful attitude, just like my Mom did.
That is awesome that you want your husband to stay active with his own activities. Bless you!

10starr

 

[joni51]

Becky just think of it this way, you could be here for a long time, but now you are just getting additional help. bruce is on hospice now too, and they are wonderful!

 

[panguinjen]

Becky,
I admire your pragmatism and your care for Doug! You are a fighter and you WILL hold that grandbaby....it is so hard to accept the changes that occur with our loved ones. We don't sleep well after a change as we adjust to the new normal and the stress goes with the caregiving. I'm glad Doug can go golfing and you have competent care while he's gone. Staying upbeat is hard, and I'm sure Doug appreciates it.

Jen

 

[cairn175]

Hi Becky,

I have a call into my doctor to get on hospice. I keep hearing wonderful things about their care. I have lost the use of my legs and arms are almost gone & have lost the balance in my torso (if that makes sense). I am losing lots of weight...no way to know how much as can't stand to get on a scale. We will have to compare notes on hospice care.

I hope & pray that you get to hold your granddaughter in your arms.
Leslie

 

[asad]

Becky..how have you been? Please use your bipap as much as possible (even in day) it will keep your energy high. I hope you receive the best of care. Best of luck and God bless you.

 

[HelenL]

Dear Becky, sorry to hear that you are so much weaker... but only in body, your spirit is strong as ever! Choosing to vent or not is probably one of the hardest choices we have to make I think. You do have a peg though? I don't yet, but will when it's harder to eat, so I can enjoy what I do eat, not just battle to get it down.

Sending you a hug, I want to hear another story about your convertible trips!