Post things to cheer up people

[CindyM]

I don't think we can have too many kings of tomfollery around here! Just my opinion. Myself, I never thought I had good timing for jokes. But people find me funny all the time...Hummm... Cindy

[Paty]

Guess what? I have a box of Pillsbury Chocolate Brownies and believe it or not these past three days I was planning on baking those delicious brownies, but since the poor little dough boy died, I will have to postpone the baking, for a week of mourning.

I love chocolate (though it gives me migraine headaches).

Paty
Husband's Caregiver Dx 10-17-05
Baja California, Mexico

P.S. I HAVE NEVER BEEN GOOD WITH JOKES

NOW LET'S BE GOOD AND GO TO THE JOKES THREAD MENTIONED BY GRAMP AL

[tabney]

John invited his mother over for dinner. During the meal, his mother couldn't help noticing how beautiful John's roommate was. She had long been suspicious of a relationship between John and his roomate and this only made her more curious.

Over the course of the evening, while watching the two interact, she started to wonder if there was more between John and the roommate than met the eye. Reading his Mom's thoughts, John volunteered, "I know what you must be thinking, but I assure you, Julie and I are just roommates."

About a week later, Julie came to John and said, "Ever since your Mother came to dinner, I've been unable to find the beauiful silver gravy ladle. You don't suppose she took it do you?" John said, "Well, I doubt it, but I'll write her a letter just to be sure".

So he sat down and wrote, "Dear Mother, I'm not saying you did take the gravy ladle from my house, and I'm not saying you did not take the gravy ladle. But the fact remains that one has been missing ever since you were here for dinner".

Several days later, John received a letter from his Mother which read, "Dear Son, I'm not saying that you do sleep with Julie, and I'm not saying you don't sleep with Julie. But the fact remains that is she was sleeping in her own bed, she would have found the gravy ladle by now. Love Mom".

Lesson of the day....Don't lie to your Mother!

Toni

[Paty]

YOU MADE MY DAY.

THANKS

PATY
HUSBAND'S CAREGIVER DX 10/17.05
BAJA CALIFORNIA, MEXICO

[tabney]

Originally Posted by Paty

YOU MADE MY DAY.

THANKS

PATY
HUSBAND'S CAREGIVER DX 10/17.05
BAJA CALIFORNIA, MEXICO

Then my job is done! Your welcome Paty.

Toni

[Paty]

HI TONY:

WE ALL THANK YOU AND EVERYONE WHO POSTS SUCH WONDERFUL JOKES, WHICH MAKES US FEEL A LITTLE BIT BETTER.

LAST NIGHT I TOOK A PICTURE OF THE LITTLE FAT DUDE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY
went to see if you were still on line, but you weren't, so here it is.

HOPE YOU HAD A GOOD NIGHT SLEEP.

PATY
HUSBAND'S CAREGIVER DX 10/17/05
BAJA CALIFORNIA, MEXICO

[tabney]

Originally Posted by Paty

HI TONY:

WE ALL THANK YOU AND EVERYONE WHO POSTS SUCH WONDERFUL JOKES, WHICH MAKES US FEEL A LITTLE BIT BETTER.

LAST NIGHT I TOOK A PICTURE OF THE LITTLE FAT DUDE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY
went to see if you were still on line, but you weren't, so here it is.

HOPE YOU HAD A GOOD NIGHT SLEEP.

PATY
HUSBAND'S CAREGIVER DX 10/17/05
BAJA CALIFORNIA, MEXICO

Paty, You made my day with the picture. Hilarious! Toni

[Paty]

That's what is all about to laugh a little bit.
I really took the picture last night from my kitchen's cabinet.
The poor little dude is going to be baked today.

Here's something else I did with another picture taken from a different angle.

PLEASE CLICK ON THE THUMBNAIL TO SEE IT IN THE ORIGINAL SIZE.
THE ORIGINALS WERE VERY BIG I HAD TO RESIZE THEM AND MAKE THEM WEIGHT LESS IN ORDER TO BE ABLE TO POST THEM.

Paty
Husband's Caregiver Dx 10.17.05
BAJA CALIFORNIA, MEXICO

[JACKIEMAX]

i don't know how many of you watch 'the bachelor' on tv on monday nights. but he hands out a rose to the girls he wishes to stay and get to know better. my husband and i only watch this silly show because those girls just make an utter fool of themselves to get the attention of the bachelor in hopes of becoming 'mrs. bachelor' in the end.

last night while the bachelor was handing out the last rose, my husband, who can barely walk anymore, walked over to the door and said 'well, it's apparent i'm not going to get a rose tonight, so i'll go let the puppy out.'

gosh, i admire his ability to keep a sense of humor when he is battling this horrific disease. hope this silly story made someone smile.

jackiemax

[Frizzel]

May he rest in 'piece'.

ok Al, we'll try to go to the cheer people up section. I just found this one and I'm still laughing!!! I was in a sad mood this evening and wouldn't have even thought about going to be cheered up thread. Thanks to Toni going out of the box, even for just this post, it sure cheered me up. Blessings and joy! Goodnight! Frizzel

[Mike27]

NEVER QUESTION A DRUNK

I was shopping at the local supermarket where I selected:

A half-gallon of 2% milk,
A carton of eggs,
A quart of orange juice,
A head of romaine lettuce,
A 2 lb. can of coffee, and
A 1 lb. package of bacon.

As I was unloading my items on the conveyor belt to check out, a
drunk standing behind me watched as I placed the items in front of the
cashier.

While the cashier was ringing up the purchases, the drunk calmly stated, "You must be single."

I was a bit startled by this proclamation, but I was intrigued by
the derelict's intuition, since I was indeed single. I looked at
the six items on the belt and saw nothing particularly unusual
about my selections that could have tipped off the drunk to my
marital status.

Curiosity getting the better of me, I said: "Well, you know what,
you're absolutely right. But how on earth did you know that?"

The drunk replied, "Cause you're ugly."

[MtPockets]

Hey!! Check out My Meds

A row of bottles on my shelf
Caused me to analyze myself.
One yellow pill I have to pop
Goes to my heart so it won't stop.
A little white one that I take
Goes to my hands so they won't shake.
The blue ones that I use a lot
Tell me I'm happy when I'm not.
The purple pill goes to my brain
And tells me that I have no pain.
The capsules tell me not to wheeze
Or cough or choke or even sneeze.
The red ones, smallest of them all
Go to my blood so I won't fall.
The orange ones, very big and bright
Prevent my leg cramps in the night.
Such an array of brilliant pills
Helping to cure all kinds of ills.
But what I'd really like to know..........
Is what tells each one where to go!

God Bless
Capt AL

[CindyM]

Cute, Al. I think I'll print it and share it! Cindy

[MarciaA]

A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales.
The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because even though it was a very large mammal its throat was very small.
The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale.
Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human; it was physically impossible.
The little girl said, "When I get to heaven I will ask Jonah".
The teacher asked, "What if Jonah went to hell?"
The little girl replied, "Then you ask him ".


A Kindergarten teacher was observing her classroom of children while they were drawing. She would occasionally walk around to see each child's work.
As she got to one little girl who was working diligently, she asked what the drawing was.
The girl replied, "I'm drawing God."
The teacher paused and said, "But no one knows what God looks like."
Without missing a beat, or looking up from her drawing, the girl replied, "They will in a minute."


A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with her five and six year olds.
After explaining the commandment to "honor" thy Father and thy Mother, she asked, "Is there a commandment that teaches us how to treat our brothers and sisters?"
Without missing a beat one little boy (the oldest of a family) answered, "Thou shall not kill."


One day a little girl was sitting and watching her mother do the dishes at the kitchen sink. She suddenly noticed that her mother had several strands of white hair sticking out in contrast on her brunette head.
She looked at her mother and inquisitively asked, "Why are some of your hairs white, Mom?"
Her mother replied, "Well, every time that you do something wrong and make me cry or unhappy, one of my hairs turns white."
The little girl thought about this revelation for a while and then said, "Momma, how come ALL of grandma's hairs are white?"


The children had all been photographed, and the teacher was trying to persuade them each to buy a copy of the group picture.
"Just think how nice it will be to look at it when you are all grown up and say, 'There's Jennifer, she's a lawyer,' or 'That's Michael, He's a doctor.'
A small voice at the back of the room rang out, "And there's the teacher, she's dead."


A teacher was giving a lesson on the circulation of the blood. Trying to make the matter clearer, she said, "Now, class, if I stood on my head, the blood, as you know, would run into it, and I would turn red in the face."
"Yes," the class said.
"Then why is it that while I am standing upright in the ordinary position the blood doesn't run into my feet?"
A little fellow shouted,
"Cause your feet ain't empty."


The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary school for lunch. At the head of the table was a large pile of apples. The nun made a note, and posted on the apple tray:
"Take only ONE. God is watching."
Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies.
A child had written a note, "Take all you want. God is watching the apples.

Sorry it was so long, but I thought they were all cute!

Marcia

[MtPockets]

Absolutely great. Thanks for the good laugh this am.
God Bless
Capt AL