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kmendsley

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I have continued my 3 part time jobs up to to now, but I am sadly realizing that my ability to continue these jobs is short lived as I am taking a dive in being able to move. I prided myself on not telling anyone at any of these jobs that I had health issues(yes understatment of the world) but I am a good actress and I though that my job would be in jeopardy if I said I was having problems. Plus, having people feel sorry for me is just not my style. I am usually quiet about my personal life and would rather people did not know the details. I do at this point have to leave at least two of the jobs because it is becoming physically impossible to do and hide the fact that I can do it anymore. Any suggestions how I go about this? Thanks guys...esp. the ones who are answering my questions most..it is just real hard when I don't have other support but here. thanks.
 
It's real easy-- "Hello Manager. I've enjoyed my position but need to move on. Here is my two weeks' notice."
 
I agree with notme- you dont have to disclose your illness. it looks good to businesses if you put your notice in writing. just tell them its for personal reasons and leave it at that.

Im sorry this is happening and youre having to deal with all this. may i ask why you dont have any support?
 
@LizT Family can't deal with it. My family has a long history of ignoring bad things that are happening because it is easier just not to deal with it. They choose to look the other way. It hurts and is hard especially being only 24 with such a diagnosis as this I feel very alone and just want a mom or dad to care and to say that they are there for me...I don't even have that. I just get excuses from my mother as to why my body must be failing (ie poor nuitrition, too much stress, working too hard...etc...lets just say I have enough nutrition shakes and viatmins to last me a 'full' lifetime. ) So this is my support network...people that acknowledge me and say yes, you have a terrrible disease, and it is horrible but we are here for you. This group of people helps me know and remember that I am not crazy, this is not just in my head, and that I need to remember to live my life moment to moment. It is too easy with the family to go into a state of denial and pretend it is not happening..so this forum has been a blessing on many counts. :)
 
Hi Kelli,
I know they mean well, but I don't agree with the first two posters. You have nothing to hide or be ashamed of. I understand you are a private person, but I think you should tell your employers exactly what the situation is- you may have more support than you realize. They may accommodate you at work. You are going to need help-give people a chance to help.
Don't hide. Increasing awareness of this horrible disease helps efforts to find a cure.
Wishing you courage and strength,
Tom
 
I am sorry that you are not getting better support from your family. My wife, who has gone to my appointments at the ALS clinic, sometimes still will say something that makes me realize she has not fully accepted my diagnosis. I guess that this is only natural. No one likes to think about terminal illness.

I had similar resevations about telling folks at my work. My situation was a bit different. I decided immediately to retire and began the paperwork as soon as I had a diagnosis. At first I simply said "health issues", but I finally told my upper level management and some close associates that worked for me.

I know that in a strange way there is a need to want to share, but you really don't owe anyone an explanation. Simply giving your notice and citing "personal reasons" if a reason is actually necessary is quite sufficient.

I hope that you will find continued support here on the forum.

- Jerry
 
That is really beyond sad that your family hasnt stepped up and i am very sorry to hear that.
Im also so thankful for this site because I feel like you guys are the only ones who really understand. Im glad you found us and at least feel supported here.
Thank you for sharing.
 
For me, it would depend on how much I liked the job and/or the people there... If you'd like to keep it, with accommodations, you may be able to. Maybe you should pick the one you like the most, and try to stay with that. Go with your gut feeling and don't rule anything out.

Please remember to be good to yourself!

Helen
 
Kel, I understand the part of you that is a private person. ALS takes privacy away. Soon enough, it is going to be so obvious to all that have known you that you have a debilitating illness taking your mobility away.

You have a choice at this juncture to promote awareness and education regarding ALS or to not do so. Each time you let someone know about your condition, the reality of it seems to hit harder, for a while, anyway. Facing this monster in the beginning is very, very tough. I do not envy you your position.

In my mind, by not telling those you work with the reasoning behind your resignation(s), you rob them of a precious truth and leave all sorts of suppositions left standing. Some poor stooge may think they did something to offend you, to drive you away. Someone else may think you know something they don't (The place is going to shut down!). Well, you get the picture.

There may also be people that will want to stay in touch with you to offer assistance down the road. You could be cheating yourself out of some vital future members in your support network.

Should the day ever come when I have to shut my business down due to PLS, I will do so with dignity and grace while educating my clientele about all things MND.

Well, enough of my babble. I feel for you as you make these difficult decisions.

Kim
 
I agree with those that say you should inform your employers of why you are resigning! You never know what seed you may plant and what friendship or help for your future (or the future of ALS) may grow, by letting them know. You don't have to reveal too much, just be clinical, they can google it. Facts are facts. Then tell them you loved working for them and wished you could continue to do so in some capacity (if that's what you wish).

Believe me, you will find help from strangers and acquaintances more than from family sometimes! Strange, I know!
 
Testing what CJ?

AL.
 
Kelli,
Both CJ and Kim make excellent points about how telling about this awful thing increases awareness and allows you to find help where you never thought to look. I hope your family comes around too. Would your mom consider going with you to the ALS clinic? If so, it may just open her eyes a bit.

Depending on the job, you may want to look into the federal law about working with disabilities. By law, your employer has to allow for you to work with accommodations if possible. My employer offered this to me, but I'm not comfortable being the ALS example for all the kids and parents in a K-5 school. I'm not that much of an extrovert!

I too tried to hide my situation for almost 2 entire school years. In late March, I decided the progress in my legs was going to make this my last year. That forced me to tell the staff why I was limping badly and my hands were ridiculously clumsy. I was very uncomfortable doing the telling, but once I got over that first big hump, telling people became easier. Now I'm trying to work up the guts to tell the kids in grades 3-5 why I'm not there in September or August (I taught 2nd grade). I'm still not sure about that one.

Maybe the best advice here is go with your gut (from Helen).

Best of luck!
Mary
 
You know, I have thought about this some more.
I have always been quiet about my ALS, but there is something to be said for raising awareness.

I am certainly considering telling more of my friends. Thanks for the insight.

- Jerry
 
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