happy tomorrow but ...

[irismarie]

Tomorrow my son and family arrive and I shall be very happy and things will be fine.

Now, my friends, excuse me as this time I am going to set you a question that is NOT a happy one. Today has been a really really bad one in all sorts of ways AND I cannot find my usual self anywhere. (It's this damned hospital bed. Once it is up everything slips down the back).
Anyway

How can one hate ones life as much as I do now and yet still not want to die?
Answer it myself as I go along. It is because something somewhere is important enough to live for. OK.
I shall leave this posted even tho I answered my own question that had been bugging me all day yet cleared itself when I put it in writing to you.
THANK YOU

But I wish I could stop crying.
AH just remembered EL. Always got an excuse for everything, I have. Musst write the book "An excuse for every day of the Year"

Love you all. Excuse me for moaning.......

 

[joelc]

I am glad you still want to live after all you have been through! You are an inspiration to me and a lot of people.
God Bless you!

 

[irismarie]

JOel, the founding father of inspiration. Thank you. I am honoured - and now you've made me go and cry again:
Mwa, mwa, mwa; lots of french kisses - well, you knonw what I mean;-)

 

[abbas child]

Dear sweet Iris Marie,

My hospital bed also loses things behind the back. I keep a grabber not far away so at least I can retrieve most things eventually myself. But, I'm learning to yank onto pillows and things that go backwards whenever I have the bed begin to sit me up. Does that make any sense? I think you also have your night stands pulled out so they're handy when you're sitting up. People keep sliding mine back to the wall, so now I tell them...please don't do that. I don't know if your hands work well enough to pull things forward with you... I hope so.
Love, Ann

 

[irismarie]

HI, ANn. YEs it is so funny when as the bed raises you up you leave everything you so carefully set out way behind you. SO you put another little table in front of the other so you have one for lying down and one for sitting up. Then your glasses keep falling down between the tables as well as dowqn the back. Then the aforementioned wires get wrapped round some unseen knob under the bed and you cannot pull out your computer or the heating blanket gets too hot and you have to lower the bed again to get at the switch and raise it again to go on with your work (like scrabble or spider solitaire)
I think we need to fit a safety net under the back of the bed that we can drag up every now and then to recuperate long lost items like that bottom set of teeth I haven't seen in ages;-)
These beds are top, tho, aren't they, but really take a lot of organising. WIll take a photo of mine tomorrow when the lady who comes to help with the housework is going to change my bed. She informed me there was a big mark on it and it needed to be changed. She has already told me off for not keeping ly bedroom tidier. I'm dead scared of her so didnt dare say the mark was chewing gum.........
Anyway, you take a photo of your organisation, too. Thatll be fun.
Love to all

 

[KeeKer]

Iris Marie, I have the same problem with my bed! It is very frustrating! If I can come up with a solution I will let you know. Until then, I sypathize with you! Keep up your spirits! Think of your beautiful flowers and your family coming to visit.

 

[irismarie]

so let"s have a photo of your bed, too. i look forward to this....

 

[abbas child]

Iris Marie, I have tried to capture the chaos to share with you... and I do like the net behind the bed idea. One picture can't do justice. Note: I cannot "make the bed", so until my caregiver changes and tidies on Mondays, it just stays like this. Don't tell Mom. 1st picture shows how far the side tables have to be from the wall, 2nd shows the cord collection on the side "I don't enter", and third shows the side I DO enter when the computer/hospital bed table is removed. The TV stand is to the far right. Sheep fleece covers the bed under me.

 

[handinhand]

I am wondering if a stape of some kind could be attached to both sides of your pillows etc. so it all doesn't fall as you raise the bed up? ummmmmmmm Let me think a while... I rmember that when i had my knees replaced. It was a problem.. Iris, I am sorry you are having a bad dy. I hate that you are crying all alone. 'I do that sometimes and afterward I feel better and then after a good night sleep i feel really really good. Wishing that for you,, Huigs, Linda

 

[BarryG]

"How can one hate ones life as much as I do now and yet still not want to die?"

Irismarie, it is because you know that we love and need you. Where would we be without our English/French flower? Please remember that we are here for you any time you need confirmation of how important you are.

Barry

 

[tdamess]

irismarie , the something some where are your kids have a great time , and we on alsforms count also ... you are loved

 

[irismarie]

Just LOVE the photos! (Looks round and thinks: shall I take my photos now, just as it is? But you would think I arranged things just to outdo you in slovenliness) But that realievess me so much to know my chaos is not alone in the world. What I do not understand is why there are no plates and cups around? OK here goes. This is the dirty truth about irismarie

The first shows Mimi who HATES hospital beds as she can no longer sleep on Mummy's feet

Then the other end of the bed

When my daughter saw this put up, her remark:"But Mum'll NEVER get her head through that!

Wanna see everybody's bed

 

[irismarie]

Just LOVE the photos! (Looks round and thinks: shall I take my photos now, just as it is? But you would think I arranged things just to outdo you in slovenliness) But that realievess me so much to know my chaos is not alone in the world. What I do not understand is why there are no plates and cups around? OK here goes. This is the dirty truth about irismarie

The first shows the foot end

Then the other end

When my daughter saw this put up, her remark:"But Mum'll NEVER get her head through that!

Wanna see everybody's bed

 

[Ratman55]

Sloppy? Slovenly? Oh, Irismarie. Ratman is the king of sloppy. May I tell you the story of my potty? Yesterday was my clinic day. The bad news is, the PT and OT had to twist and turn and torment my poor limbs. Now, any little thing I could still move hurts so bad I don't want to, the good news is I got a new potty seat. We got one of those extender seats as I'm not quite ready for(or able to pay for) the bidet. I certainly will not take a picture, but I do find it a little bit difficult to,umm, use properly. What I find interesting is that with this device installed on top of the toilet, the old lid and seat is now inoperable and useless. My wife commented, "Now you don't have to put the seat down anymore, 54 years of training, of female-forced evolution gone, wasted!":?:

And, it's like the others said, we love you so much and we never want you to die. And anyway,(as your daughter pointed out) your head won't fit in there, silly!(If you promise to behave, I will send you a photo of my commode, vacant of course.
Your Ratman

 

[indigosd]

Sweet soul, I do understand your anguish. Just remember that all we have to do is get through that second. I NEED YOU! I heartfully love you! Ok, now that I got that out of the way-OMG, I snorted and laughed at you and your daughter's reference to the overHEAD trapeze bar! That definitely qualifies for witty black humor!

Are you on any antidepressants or medications for EL? I don't think that my pig headed, pragmatic sweet husband would still be on this earth if he wasn't on 20 mg of Paxil. IT HELPS!

I want you to figure out how we can get to you and spend time with you! I want, need to give myself the joy of you and the GARDEN :] I am a fabulous cook and a Nurse besides. I unfortunately do not speak French but maybe the Monkey's do, I will ask them! Maybe I should just load Web and Matthew up and say F it and come to France! You know what I saw when I first looked at your photos? That painting of the ocean next to your bed! I LOVE IT! Did you paint it?

Both of you have such courage! Thank you for posting your boudoir pictures! Hmmmm...now the issues you face are crystal clear. I can totally understand your frustration. Let me do some thinking about it. The first thing that pops into my pea brain is that one solution may be to place a table behind the headboard that is the height of the headboard-somewhat like the sofa tables that go behind a sofa. Do you know what I mean? You could put a lamp on it that had a remote control. What about one of those inexpensive kitchen islands on big rollers that you can get at Walmart next to the bed? They usually have a drawer and shelf and are very movable. Something like this Covington Drop Leaf Kitchen Cart - Kitchen Islands and Carts at eKitchen Islands or All Purpose Utility Cart : Target or this Chrome Microwave Cart : Target I will have to do some more thinking as I can see that this is truly such a huge issue. xoxo