irismarie
Very helpful member
- Joined
- Nov 21, 2009
- Messages
- 1,386
- Reason
- PALS
- Diagnosis
- 05/2010
- Country
- FR
- State
- tarn et garonne
- City
- valeilles
She is determined it cannot be ALS because
1) there is so little muscle wastage.
é) She saw no fasciulation
No listening to the fact that tho there is still muscle it is nothing like it was or t the fact that I have fascifcultaions all over almost all the time. Of cours not when she was there.
The fact that the bone marrow has deteriorated so quickly from nothing wrong to much wrong now, she does not understand (she shçould read the ALS pages) and is sending me to a& neuro surgeon, the LAST thing I want. So more emg TESTS anad still no diagnosis.
I really feel at the end of fighting
I used to feel I was surrounded by spirits who made me laugh and feel joy and the love of making others laugh. I now just feel defeated.
Partly my own fault.
I took back the "violent" carer who promised to give up his dope and who has done so for two months. think. But I found a bottle of whisky jhidden by his bed - this on top of the beer he drinks every night.
I just could not cope with the facts of living alone and being helpless. HE has been wonderful but broke last night and pushed me on to the concrete floor and left me there refusing to pick me up for at least half an hour, tho I was crying and begging him to help me. HE even took photographs to amuse himself at my helplessness
I feel finished, dead, I do not knoiw what. I cannot cope alone but he is so unstable and I am getting so much worse cos of the constant stress. IN any case no matter what I say he refuses to go and I can do nothing.
Forgive me for moaning.
1) there is so little muscle wastage.
é) She saw no fasciulation
No listening to the fact that tho there is still muscle it is nothing like it was or t the fact that I have fascifcultaions all over almost all the time. Of cours not when she was there.
The fact that the bone marrow has deteriorated so quickly from nothing wrong to much wrong now, she does not understand (she shçould read the ALS pages) and is sending me to a& neuro surgeon, the LAST thing I want. So more emg TESTS anad still no diagnosis.
I really feel at the end of fighting
I used to feel I was surrounded by spirits who made me laugh and feel joy and the love of making others laugh. I now just feel defeated.
Partly my own fault.
I took back the "violent" carer who promised to give up his dope and who has done so for two months. think. But I found a bottle of whisky jhidden by his bed - this on top of the beer he drinks every night.
I just could not cope with the facts of living alone and being helpless. HE has been wonderful but broke last night and pushed me on to the concrete floor and left me there refusing to pick me up for at least half an hour, tho I was crying and begging him to help me. HE even took photographs to amuse himself at my helplessness
I feel finished, dead, I do not knoiw what. I cannot cope alone but he is so unstable and I am getting so much worse cos of the constant stress. IN any case no matter what I say he refuses to go and I can do nothing.
Forgive me for moaning.
