MaxwellMurder
Active member
- Joined
- Dec 15, 2009
- Messages
- 61
- Reason
- PALS
- Diagnosis
- 09/2009
- Country
- US
- State
- Oh
- City
- Alliance
In Sep, of 08 the girl that I was engaged to merry and spent my whole teen years with left me. I was destroyed to say the least. But then I met some one new a few months later, and we hit it off as friends from the first time we spoke. For about a month we hung out went to parties and became all around best friends, and we flirted with that fine line of dating and ending the night with a hand shake. Until the night we stayed up till 6am watching movies and eating snacks, I’m not sure who made the first move but next thing I knew we were kissing. I know what your thinking who cares about kissing but to tell you the truth I was with the same girl for almost 6 years, ready to be married and here I am 6 in the morning kiss this new girl I had only met maybe a month ago. Needless to say things got weird between us for all of a week until we talked about how we were really starting to like each other and maybe we should take it a step up. And it was good for a week or so until I got freaked and ran away. Luckily she took me back, but when things started going way to good I ran again, but again she took me back. Then months go by and we start to hint around the L word. Then a month goes by and one star lit summer night I take her hand and I tell her that I’m in love with and we kiss, and as we pull away a green shooting star that looked like it was ready slam into the ground at our feet fly’s over. ( scouts honor truly happened, she starts crying and said she felt like Meg Ryan). And threw out the year we had made jokes about my limp and how I fall a lot, but we both knew I needed to see a Doc, and in Sep, of 09 I was told I could have ALS. She stuck right there by my side and never once let me see her cry cuz she knew her tears wouldn’t help. (she is one of the strongest people I have ever met) But once again in Nov I ran away. I know now why, I am so scared of having my heart broke like it was that I kept pushing her away when I felt myself falling deeper in love with her, and I am crazy about this girl. Only this time I hurt her to bad and she wont let me back. So all this time I wanted to make sure she wouldn’t break my heart I broke my own. Kinda funny. She told me today that she does love me, but it took her so long to push her feelings down for me, and she has to start looking out for herself that she just cant do it at this time. She needs time to heal. She hates that she’s hurting me but she cant be with me right now, maybe in a while. I’m just praying a while doesn’t turn out to be to long cuz like I said I’m crazy about her and I want her in my life.