Old 12-06-2018, 08:55 AM #1 (permalink)
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Default Moving Forward

I guess I need to start a new thread. My “Struggling” thread felt like home. However, it’s no longer in the proper category.

As of today, things are going well. I got caught up on work stuff as that just keeps mutlipying with out regard to anything or anyone. That was a hugs monkey off of my back.

I also accomplished some phone calls that needed made, more to make today and many I probably am not even aware need done.

Thank you notes also need written

Tomorrow I meet the attorney and take the will in for processing. And get to find out more of what I don’t know. DS will accompany me.

DD will head back to school Saturday meet with profs next week and study, then make up her finals the following week. Then she will be back home.

I know from watching other walk this path, what I feel today may not bee what or how I feel tomorrow, next week, next month or next year. However, my hope is to update to maybe help others when their time has come, just as I’m hearing my Struggling thread has done and hopefully will do in the future.

Love you all
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Old 12-06-2018, 09:19 AM #2 (permalink)
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Default Re: Moving Forward

Great, you are moving the right direction. I am working to get everything in order so my wife can move forward quickly when that time arrives.

Sometimes it is good to get an accountant involved if you have financial decisions. An attorney does not always know some of the details on how to best pass some of the assets. Retirement accounts is one example.

Good luck and keep looking forward without, of course, forgetting the good things in the past.

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Old 12-06-2018, 01:03 PM #3 (permalink)
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Default Re: Moving Forward

Love the new thread name Sue. You can do this, just one day at a time xxx
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Old 12-07-2018, 09:04 AM #4 (permalink)
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Default Re: Moving Forward

Yesterday was quite productive. I believe I only have one phone call left to place. now just waiting on forms to arrive in the mail. Have to go to the banks as well and get him removed from the accounts.

For now I’m feeling pretty good. Things that will make me tear up are things like “he’ll never know his grandchildren”, Won’t give DD away when she marries, that kind of thing.

Speaking of DD, she received word yesterday that the women she’s been helping care for at school has taken a downward turn. Actually sounds imminent from the text. She is hoping she can visit tomorrow when she gets back, but it’s hit her hard given the circumstances.

Today will be work stuff, cleaning up some things. Today was garbage pick up, and I was able to get the obvious medical stuff out that can’t be donated or used by others. Med supply place is picking up the vents and O2 today. DS is coming to help me figure out the room etc.

Life moves on.
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Old 12-07-2018, 12:45 PM #5 (permalink)
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Default Re: Moving Forward

Sue I'm so glad to hear you are moving through the tasks of each day and getting all the details cleared up quickly. It must feel strange to sit down and do work stuff without interruption! Are you sleeping ok?

How are your parents doing?
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Old 12-07-2018, 04:01 PM #6 (permalink)
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Default Re: Moving Forward

One foot in front of the other... It sounds like you are getting things in order.

Not sure if you have heard this but I was told to wait a bit to remove Cliff from the bank account in case any checks come in with his name on it. That didn't happen in my case but?!

So sorry to hear that DD patient isn't doing well. That is very bad timing.

I hope you are getting some rest. Be good to yourself! Hugs friend!
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Old 12-07-2018, 08:18 PM #7 (permalink)
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Default Re: Moving Forward

Sue, what a great name for your new thread. You sound busy and productive. Humans are not unlike sharks, we move forward or we are done. I know grief is sneaky and grabs ahold of you when you least expect it. When that happens I like something I saw on a wall in an elementary school “All my feelings are okay”. Indeed.
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Old 12-08-2018, 08:16 AM #8 (permalink)
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Default Re: Moving Forward

Thank you everyone.

Tillie - Folks are doing ok. Will be joining Dad in his building later today for their family Christmas party. Will stop and see mom prior and deliver a flower basket for her room. Won’t last long, but it will be something. Then on Thursday she goes to get drained again. I will try to go along so I can learn the routine. My DB and SIL will be going away for a week in Jan, and I want to be sure, if necessary I can take her.

Sooner - I won’t be running right to the bank. Although I highly doubt any checks will come in his name. I’ll wait, the book from the funeral home suggests 6mo.

Lenore - Thank you. Yes grief will hit. I did have a moment last night before bed. I’m sure there will be more to come and that’s ok.

Yesterday DS came over and we got the beam off of the ceiling for the overhead lift. We also tore down the bed so it can be removed from the room. Want to contact a friend to see if they may need it. That is what I think set me off a bit. It was hard seeing it there empty, but not seeing it up just seemed so much more final. Not sure what I will do with that room. It’s the master, but I don’t think I can sleep in there. I pretty much hate that room. I don’t like the color, Brian’s pick I’m not a green person, I want to take down the chair rail he put up, never liked that either. Did all these things for him as it was his only place. I don’t know if repainting it will help me or not, but it does need done.

And basically the memories in that room are not good. If I do decide to move, that will probably be part of the reason. I didn’t want him to go at home, he wanted to, so I followed his wishes, but my house is not a haven because of it. I know others may feel differently and in time, maybe I will as well.

Now that most of the work is done, other than Thank you’s and paper work that is yet to arrive, I guess my mind has more time to think. It will be ok. I need to work through all of it, and I will.

Hugs
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Old 12-08-2018, 09:35 AM #9 (permalink)
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Default Re: Moving Forward

Thinking of you, Sue. I like Lenore's quote - "All my feelings are OK."

You have had such a long road. I hope now that the road leads you to a place of happiness. Wherever that may be.

Hugs.
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Old 12-08-2018, 05:57 PM #10 (permalink)
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Default Re: Moving Forward

Please keep my DD in your thoughts. She went back to school today to spend the next week studying and then take her finals the following week. Her first plan of the day was to visit the ALS patient she helps care for there. She knew she had taken a bad turn. Before DD made it there she was notified that she passed. DD was devastated with this on top of her Dad.

Had a nice time at Dad’s Christmas party. Although I had a tough time with some of the songs the one performer as doing. Had to close my eyes and try and ignore her. Just not what I needed to hear right now.

Had a good visit with Mom too prior. I also stopped at the knit shop and grabbed myself a nice skein of yarn and one for a gift. Then hit Starbucks on the way home for coffee for here and also treated myself to a peppermint mocha.


Hugs
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Old 12-08-2018, 06:53 PM #11 (permalink)
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Default Re: Moving Forward

Sue, I like that you are doing things for yourself like getting yarn and coffee treats. I hope you get yourself something nice for Christmas. You deserve it.
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Old 12-09-2018, 10:51 AM #12 (permalink)
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Default Re: Moving Forward

So sorry you DD had to get those news on top of dad... Life is cruel at times.

One thing is for sure, you will figure it out. One foot in front of the other. One decision at a time.

I had no idea what to do, here I am in a new town with a beautiful home I love. Still working on making it my own but it feels right.
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Old 12-09-2018, 12:28 PM #13 (permalink)
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Thinking of your DD Sue xxx
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Old 12-09-2018, 03:56 PM #14 (permalink)
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Default Re: Moving Forward

You have been supporting me from the moment i joined here. With everything that hapoened with mum i was so angry at God. Yet in all this process/journey there is so much love so much love. You and everybody else have given me my faith back. Hugs and i hope u continue to be ok.
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Old 12-09-2018, 04:13 PM #15 (permalink)
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Default Re: Moving Forward

Thinking of you and your DD, Sue.

I'm so sorry she has to go back to school for finals so shortly after such losses. If she's not ready to take her finals, I hope her professors understand and give her some additional time.

I am glad to see you getting a little break to take care of yourself. Something so small as having a mocha or buying a skein of yarn can be so appreciated!

Hugs!
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