1 year

[starente15]

It's impossible to believe that today is one year since my dad's passing.

The day he was diagnosed, time stood still. Then it sped up. I felt like we were racing against time, trying to hold on to as much as we could in the following months. I could feel the weight of a freight train bearing down but kept moving forward because I had to.

In the final weeks, every minute was torture as we watched life slowly leaving him while he fought to stay with us. He fought so hard for so long, unwilling to leave my mother on her own.

This past week as she was with us to spend Thanksgiving, I looked at her and was so mad at him for leaving. She doesn't know how to go on. She says she thought she would go first, but she didn't. No only did we lose him, but it was in a way I could never have imagined in my wildest dreams.

At some point this morning I woke up with tears in my eyes. I've been struggling for months knowing this day was fast approaching as it did last year. I've re-lived some of the horror and mourned him again as I feel myself going through the motions of getting through today.

 

[lgelb]

I'm sorry, Star. There are bereavement resources if your mom needs extra help in finding the thread again. Maybe something to look into?

I don't think we stop remembering or even mourning, exactly-- as I was at a family wedding last night, and signed Larry's name parenthetically on the couple's card. We pick a path and walk.

Best,
Laurie

 

[tripete]

My deepest sympathies

 

[affected]

I am stunned it has been a year Christine.

The grief is still very fresh and raw, one year is such a short time. I hope you can move through this anniversary of grief doing whatever you need to for yourself and your mum. xxx

 

[scaredwifetx]

Christine, I feel the pain in your words. I can only offer condolences as I have no words that can even begin to soothe you.

Steve's daughters name is also Christine and they love each other very much. I remember how great of a daughter you were and know how hard this has been for both you and your mother. I know you both have a very big empty space in your heart but I pray you both find some peace and comfort.