things I am learning the hard way

[gooseberry]

1.In Florida, if all assets arent joint you have to probate a will. (Not for things owned by cals but solely in Pals name) It has to be filed within a few days with the courts.

2.Try to make everything, bills included, joint beforehand.

3.Get the will, power of attorney, advanced directive , and health care surrogate done

4. Put the advanced directive on your refrigerator so your pals wishes will be followed. Carry a copy of POA and advanced directive with you at all times.

5. If you have kids or are over 60, call social security immediately.Benefits are not retroactive.

6. Make a list of everyone you will need to notify.(bank accounts require a death certificate to change to your name only) This should include institution name, acct number, and phone number. Lock it up when completed. Get numbers for equipment donations. ALSA has a 3 week minimum time frame here, mda has a week.

7. Get yourself online account access for all banks, credit card companies, and anything else like utilities.

8. If you can, get a copy of the paperwork needed for life insurance and retirement plans in advance so it is ready to go.

9. Some states, like Florida, require death certificates with and without cause of death.

10. If you are a vet, there are many different people to contact besides the ones listed above. (Primary care doctor, life insurance, possibly mortgage insurance)

11. Contact a funeral home and begin arrangements. Obituaries can be done in advance, a funeral package can be purchased, etc. This can be done at any time. It was $2k upfront out of pocket.

Put your legal papers together.....official birth certificates, marriage license, deeds for real estate, etc.

12. You have to go to the property appraiser in Florida and show the death certificate. Havent gone yet but apparently it is a must.

 

[Nuts]

Thank you, Steph. It amazes me that we are two years into this and I haven't done some of these things yet.

 

[gooseberry]

Some I had done Becky, many I had not. I have spent the better part of the last week chasing things down. It is frustrating. I thought I was prepared but I wasnt. The idea that funeral homes and crematories want everything up front was a shock. They tell me va benefits take 2 to 4 months once va receives the paperwork for benefits to start so you cant rely on that money.

In FL, if assets are joint, the will isnt probated. Probate can take a year and accounts can be frozen.

 

[Green Queen]

Oh good Lord, Steph. There is so much to deal with in what is one of the saddest times of your life...

 

[Barbie]

I have had a bit of a lackidasical attitude toward all the paperwork...did the most important stuff like life insurance and financial stuff but really haven't been too rushed on anything else.

most of the bills I had already slowly converted to just my name over the years--but actually cable was just last month! that was the one utilities that was only in his name, and they were horrible when I tried to change that before he died. all I had t do was tell the sales rep he was dead, and they switched the entire account over to me on the phone. I didn't even worry about other bills, when they come to both of us it is sorta comforting...

I did send the death cert to the clerk of the courts in my county--so I could get his name off of the properties that we own. I was told by a real estate friend that that was also not an earth shattering rush either and could just be done when you finally sell the property. I just did that in January also.

I voted today, and saw that his name was not on the voting rolls any more...made me sad because he loved politics.

hope you are holding up ok Steph call me if you need anything. I am not working any longer and could swing out there to see you

 

[gooseberry]

Thanks Barbie. Julien started at a new school so I cant do anything once I am back at work unless I take a day off. I am trying to get as much as possible done over the next 2 weeks. Mostly it is financial stuff. It isnt overwhelming me, more like a pain in the butt.

 

[Loverly]

the bank thing was a real pain for us. Even after Kathy passed, we got a check from the LTC company made out to "the estate of kathy"

no one would cash that check even though my father is a cosigner on all of her accounts.

Luckily, online banking got us through the worst hurdles, but dealing with the insurance company without a medical POA was harrowing!

Get a complete POA, folks, and you've got it covered.

 

[scaredwifetx]

Thanks Steph for starting this thread. I have very little done on this list and thought I was doing a good job of preparing but did not think about after. Thanks to everyone else who chimed in. I am going to start on this list. I did learn some of this the hard way from my mother. she died without a will and it has been hard. She lived on Social Security and lived with us but did have bills so I have been crazy busy just taking care of paperwork for her and us. We did fill out a POA, and advance directive. We do not think doing a will is worth the extra cost since in Texas the spouse gets all rights and funds.

 

[Loverly]

Thanks Steph for starting this thread. I have very little done on this list and thought I was doing a good job of preparing but did not think about after. Thanks to everyone else who chimed in. I am going to start on this list. I did learn some of this the hard way from my mother. she died without a will and it has been hard. She lived on Social Security and lived with us but did have bills so I have been crazy busy just taking care of paperwork for her and us. We did fill out a POA, and advance directive. We do not think doing a will is worth the extra cost since in Texas the spouse gets all rights and funds.

You can have a simple will written or fill out a template online, and signed by witnesses. Doesn't even have to be notarized.

You should still do it, so that the "estate" is protected from any surprise probate laws, and get a full POA not just medical. This way you can still have access to bank accounts and such, that even being a spouse doesn't give you.

 

[gooseberry]

Also scared, if one account isn't joint you have to start again...for example utilities.