Having a sad day

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Kim C

Active member
Joined
Jul 31, 2013
Messages
82
Reason
CALS
Diagnosis
07/2013
Country
US
State
KY
City
Nicholasville
Just stopping in to share with those who understand. Having a sad day today. Sometimes I cry missing mom and how she was before the ALS struck her. Sometimes, like today, I cry because of how awful the disease was and what it did to her. It's been seven weeks now, I don't know how I'm supposed to feel. Still very sad. I am proud of the way dad & I are handling things and Saturday I even said, "it's not been seven weeks since we lost mom, it's been seven weeks that she's been free". I wish I could look at things every day with that attitude but some days I just get hung up on how awful this was for her. I don't think I'll ever get past that, just seeing what this disease did to her. I saw the thread on PTSD. Yes, I am sure CALS can get PTSD from seeing what this disease does to loved ones.

Just wondering if any one has an suggestions for a good on-line grief site?

Thank you, you're the only ones who really can relate.

Kim
 
>Yes, I am sure CALS can get PTSD from seeing what this disease does to loved ones.

here are some searchable and specific PTSD sites I have found useful:

Effects of PTSD on the Family
Domain: www.ptsd.va.gov (government)
Learn about the harmful impact of post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) on military families.
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MilitaryFamily.com PTSD Information
Domain: militaryfamily.com (non-government)
Find information on Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) and tips for coping with the illness.
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Family of Heroes - Resiliency & PTSD Training Simulation for Veteran Families
Domain: www.familyofheroes.com (non-government)
A 1-hour role-playing resiliency training simulation where family members learn essential skills to manage the challenges they may face in adjusting to post-deployment life.
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Understanding PTSD
Domain: www.ptsd.va.gov (government)
Learn about post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), how to get help and treatment options available for Veterans and their family members.
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PTSD Awareness
Domain: www.ptsd.va.gov (government)
Learn key information about post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), treatment options and support available to Veterans and their family members.
 
Kim, I am so sorry that you have to go through this, but there is no getting around it. If there is one particular object, sound, song, smell that triggers the intense feeling try this little exercise. Continue to look at the object, or hear, smell etc. and wave you index finger back and forth in front of your eyes about 1-2" away. Do this until you begin to feel the anxiety subside. It won't go away right away but it does retrain your brain so that you are not triggered by that thing. I went to a seminar on PTSD and that was one little thing that I have used myself and have found really helped. Then there is prayer, and having a friend pray with you, if you are of that mind.
Lord, please be with Kim during this time of need and give her an extra portion of emotional healing. We know that her mother is in your care and is no longer in pain, but it is still hard for Kim to be in this world with out her mother. Please bring some joy back into her world and help her see how this experience can come to some good. Thank you that she was blessed to have a close and loving relationship with her mother and was able to be with her in those last moments. Speak into her heart and allow her to have more memories of those amazing times, and less memories of the difficult ones. I ask this in Jesus' Holy name. Amen

Paulette
 
Paulette,

Thank you so very much for the prayer. I am so afraid that I won't find what is to be the "good" in all this. I pray for that every day. I don't want to be the same person I was before all this happened. You know, some days I don't ever want to hear those three letters again; but then I know ALS will always be a part of me because it took my mother from me. It's not necessarily any one thing that triggers the tears; they just appear out of no where and for no rhyme or reason. One of the elders at church says I need to have the 'big" cry. Maybe that would help.

Kim
 
Kim, it will take time. slowly over time you will heal, but that doesn't change how you feel now. your family has been thru a lot so be gentle with yourself and cut yourself some slack.
 
Kim, the others are right in that it will take time. I lost an infant son years ago. It took a year before I could watch tv because of the baby commercials or go any place except work because every time I saw a baby I didn't see that baby. Wht I saw was my infant son dying all over again. Have I forgotten that son, NO. But I did eventuall begin to live again and fing joy in life. Just wanted you to know, don't rush it, take whatever time you need, regardless of what people that don't have a clue might say.
 
Kim, I don't know what type of person you were like before all of this, but it sounds like you didn't think that it was a positive thing. Maybe the good that came of this horrible trauma was the realization that there needed to be a change, and a will to do it. Tim has told me that if this disease was the impetus for his older kids who are living an unhealthy lifestyle to change, and to turn to God he wound rejoice in developing ALS. I think that you may need many "big cries" before you realize that things are beginning to feel a bit more normal. Imagine the joy your mother would feel if this helped you grow and move into an extremely happy healthy life.
Like Barbie said be gentle with yourself, and do as many healthy things that you can, which will help you both emotionally and physically. Go for walks, eat good non processed foods, get sleep, join a club, or just call a friend.

Paulette
 
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