I just can't

[brooksea]

With all these creditors barraging me, it's taken me days to draft a standard letter to send them stating there are no assets and to cease sending me notifications. I just can't think straight.

I wore my body out doing yard work this week, although my father helped me. Everything is so overwhelming at times. I am stressed both mentally and physically and hate that my dad drives an hour and a half or more to help me.

My brother had called me earlier this week to see if I could come over to his house to work on a Will with/for my mother this Saturday. His reasoning for meeting at his house was that the restaurants near him were better than in my or my mom's area (food snob) and we were to go out to eat. He was to call me to confirm and never did.

I have not had a good week. I can't explain it, but that is a fact, I just lost it this week. My mom called me this evening wanting to know what time to be at my house tomorrow so I could drive us to my brother's. I couldn't even speak. She was blithering away about how I needed to get out more. I will NOT be manipulated! I am so pissed right now! What? I'm supposed to be over it and ready to take on writing another Will this soon? He can damn well handle it, the little $#!^#&@*, he will be the executor anyway... I'm tired of handling everything for everybody. I've handled more than most people I know and I think I deserve a break for now. Me to whomever: "I DON'T WANT TO HOLD YOUR HAND WHILE YOU HAVE TO DO SOMETHING UNPLEASANT. YOU WEREN'T HOLDING MINE!" (the unpleasant part being dealing with m o m)

I just cannot suck it up right now and need some space. I hate it when people tell me stupid stuff about getting over it and it will take a while, blah, blah, blah...

...rambling...

 

[Ms. Pie]

I hear you CJ. They have no earthly idea what you've been through and are going through, nor do they care. Just blow them off I say. He can do it. He just doesn't want to.

 

[momap53]

Just take a break kiddo. You deserve it. Let THEM get over it! Just do what you need to do for you and your son!

 

[Toto's Dorothy]

Cj, you have got to be $#!++!Π¶ me? Get over it? Really? With a simple divorce, you are supposed to take 2 years before dating again. And what you went through (and others), I wouldn't want to begin to put a time limit on it. Tell your brother to stick it, I mean just tell him straight out that pure exhaustion forbids you to drive any distance. I'm thinking he wants you there so later you can't cry about her will. And you of all people know that being executor just means he has to do all the paperwork and gets 10% of the estate. To be honest, I wouldn't want that job. My parents stuck me with that. I guess they better change that!

As for the creditors, go get your number changed. If its a cell,, well worth the few dollars they charge. And for mail, write (as hard as it might be, deceased on it and return it. Eventually they will get the hint.

I pray things work out for you.

 

[joni51]

Cj girl you don't let them push u into anything, you have a right to feel this way. You are going to be stressed for now, your body and mind need time to heal. If you wanna talk call me k.

 

[Georgia Peach]

I'm so sorry it just doesn't end. I think writing "deceased" on the letters and putting them in the mailbox is a good idea for the creditors. As for the will, they will leave you what they're going to leave you and if you're there or not will not change things. Hire a yard man and go see your dad. He seems like the most decent of your relatives.

 

[Barbie]

So so so sorry CJ. Sending you a big hug. Girl, when these people start their crap, just say "no" and hang up. you need rest and TLC.

Creditors--that is a stressful situation. I hope you can work it out and keep your sanity.

 

[10steps]

I like the letters F and U for handling some family members.

 

[Toto's Dorothy]

10,

****** the new like button.

 

[Ms. Pie]

***********like

 

[notgivnup]

**************Like***************

CJ you do what YOU darn well please! You so deserve it. It is your life! I'm with you sweetheart. I do hope you feel better soon though. You are in my thoughts and prayers everyday! Love you &{{HUGS}}

 

[cervus]

CJ. I like the idea of writing "Deceased" on the envelopes.
I think you should tell your family that you really need this time to grieve. For you, for your son and for both of you. You have to be able to grieve in your own way and in your own time. Nobody should be interfering with how and what you want to feel right now and most likely for a long time to come. Tell them you don't have any emotional or physical energy to put outside of you and your son and your household. A while ago I posted the points on grieving - Grief is.....why don't you send that to some of your family members. It may make them realize what you're going through. I sent it to a couple of my siblings and they were grateful that I did so they could understand more of what grief, real grief, is about. I feel so sad that you're dealing with so much on top of what you've been through and are going through. This is your time. Keep it that way and don't feel bad about it. Thinking of you. Yasmin.

 

[trfogey]

Doing a will on Easter Sunday -- sounds like tempting fate to me.

 

[brooksea]

Thanks, Allen! I needed a laugh!

I'm OK today. I kinda snapped when my mother just assumed I would drive her to my brother's and thought I couldn't back out then. And besides, how hard is to write a danged Will? I should have told my mom to make sure that hoard of paper towels in her storage area goes to me! LOL But, what really got me was her comparing what I have been through to her divorce. P A L E E E Z E! People amaze me.

 

[LizT]

CJ
I know EXACTLY what you mean now- unfortunately.
hang in there