For sure about the "do not know what to say". They probably heard the expression at another funeral or on TV and the comment either fit then or did not fit then either.
Hugs and tears. They say it all without words. But, these are two things that do not flow freely.
Keep your chapters of love open, but maybe "close" the painful ones? Not the sleepless night, but the pain of functioning without sleep. Not the shared meals, but the pain of witnessing a choking session. Not the time spent together, but the frustration of not understanding what is being said and definitely not the loss of abilities.
Memories can become a more beautiful record of our life and times, coloured by and focused on what we choose to hold of the moments.
You are the artist, your memories will be all you choose them to be.