Cards from the deceased!

[brooksea]

You know, I've tried to let this go. The card on the funeral wreath saying sorry you HAD to die of a broken heart. oh, excuse me TWO flower arrangements had that message.

We've now received 3 cards from the beyond!

2 from my son's granddaddy that died a week before my husband and a card from my husband to his son. These were sent from my SIL writing as if she were them.

Can someone help me understand why someone would send a message from the grave? To an 11 year old?

My son is so confused and angry. What a F'n you know what! I can't even tell you what she has done to us!

 

[Miss]

Is there a sane member of you husband's family that can tell her to stop?

 

[pmbenb83]

Wow! What in the world is she thinking? I'm so sorry CJ. You nor your son did anything to deserve this. What a crazy woman!

 

[LizT]

Cj- that is completely unacceptable on all sorts of levels. I say remove them from your lives ASAP.

 

[Katie C]

Ok she is totally psycho. You're going to have to make sure you intercept all notes, cards and flower arrangements. You actually may need to look into a restraining order.. she seems to keep upping the stakes on this. And yeah... if there is anyone sane on that side of the family, try to get them to tell whacko woman to cease and desist. I'm so sorry CJ.

 

[Ms. Pie]

Unbelievable! How clueless can people be?

 

[Toto's Dorothy]

Talk to the police. For her to do this to an adult is one thing; but to a child, may actually be a form of cruelty to a minor. Maybe they can have a little "talk" with her. If not, maybe we could pass the hat to rent some, uhm, thugs? I'll be the first to contribute.

 

[kiwisally]

For your own sanity and the sake of your son it might be best to break off contact with her, at least in the short term. Surely there is a member of your husbands family who can help you and act as a intermediary in any necessary future communications between you and this most difficult woman. She quite obviously is very upset and miss directing her issues in your direction. Best of luck, I hope you find some relief.

 

[trfogey]

Photocopy all the materials that SIL is sending to your son and send copies to all of Don's other siblings and their spouses so that they all know what she's doing and saying -- straight from the donkey's mouth. I'd be willing to wager a sizable amount of money that you aren't the only spouse of one of the siblings that has gotten crossways with her and you might have some allies you didn't think you have when this idiotic behavior is brought to light.

If you feel like it, add an additional page or two with your response to any statements she's made that aren't true.

Keep an even keel with everybody else on that side of the family -- trust me, they know that she's nuts. You're just showing them how low she's capable of going.

As to what you tell your son, tell him the truth -- some people get overwrought and say things that aren't true when they are upset, and Auntie Jack*ss is very upset right now after losing her father and her brother so recently.

 

[tammyg]

Why don't she just cut to the chase and pour some more salt in your raw, fresh open wounds. What the hell is this crazy woman thinking?
I cannot even imagine. I had a friend who had twins, one died, Social Security sent her a S>S> card fro the baby that died, this tore her up, she was already an emotional mess, depressed and this was the cherry on top.

I agree with trfogey, you should send a photo copy to the rest of His family so they can see what you and your son have to deal with, like you don't have enough on your plate already to even have to worry about dealing with this crazy lady. How would she feel if you sent her a Valentine's day card from her dead father, no a normal brain would not dare. Your poor son I would not even let him visit her and he will never forget what she did the rest of his life. Poor Lil Guy , sorry you have to go through extra Bull%#&t right now

 

[dldred]

CJ I would be more than happy to go have a "chat" with her. I need to get rid of some of my anger!

Dana

 

[asantiago]

Sounds completely nuts. I would call and let her know how it's hurtful. Do you think she possibly thinks she is being nice doing this?

 

[penny1]

I would make copies of the notes and cards, I would not waste one more second dealing with them. screen all mail from your son. I would make 1 call to his side of the family, briefly let them know what has been going on. Inform them they are no longer your problem, if they can't be helpful to you and your son they can't be in your life now. You do not have to deal with them. Dig deep and gather some of that fire you had in taking care of Don, and take care yourself and your son with the same gusto, you more than earned it with his side of the family. I think it is Ron White who jokes YOU CAN'T FIX STUPID. If the weather is nice take your son on a roadie, get away to someplace that means something to you. A few hours of quiet time with no drama will clear your head and you will know what YOU must do to save YOUR family. A big hug coming your way, Penny

 

[marypat]

I'm so sorry that you and your son have to deal with this. some people are just unexplainable. hugs and prayers to you both

 

[rose]

CJ, I have some experience dealing with a lunatic. (thankfully not part of my family) Although I agree with what everyone has written here, TR's advice about photocopying and providing the information to other members of the family would probably be the most effective. Don't threaten her with doing it, just DO IT!

Rational deterrents that would work for normal people, i.e. authorities such as the police becoming involved, seem to not be effective when dealing with someone who truly is not right in the head. They don't think they're wrong, so the police don't worry them. Really.

Specifically what Allen said here is so true: Keep an even keel with everybody else on that side of the family -- trust me, they know that she's nuts. You're just showing them how low she's capable of going.

I used to wear Obsession as my 'signature' fragrance, and I actually had to stop wearing it, because of its name. (I am totally serious) after years of dealing with someone who has an unhealthy obsession, I couldn't even stand to look at the name on the bottle.