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judyroyalglenn

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270
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Lost a loved one
Country
US
State
TN
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Knoxville
If your mom were taking her final breath would you know to call 911, do CPR, or let her die? I had to let my mom die while I was standing by her side because I knew her 5 Wishes. My mom had ALS and passed away in 2004. I have written a blog from a journal I kept while my mom was ill. I have written questions that you the reader will answer. Some questions can be life changing! This is my families journey with ALS!

In this blog post: Mom needing to make major decisions such as whether she wanted to get a trach, feeding tube, or go through Hospice.

Please click the link to go to the blog: Walk by Faith: Questions Concerning Death


Thanks for going to my blog!

Judy Royal Glenn
 
Re: A blanket of snow

What a beautiful tribute, your love pours out of every word.
I am glad to know that God walks with you and was with you every step of this journey so far, and with your parents as well.
Thank you for sharing.
 
Re: A blanket of snow

Judy, thank you for sharing! That was very touching.
 
Re: A blanket of snow

We are having to make these decisions now, so that Tom won't go into treatment that he doesn't/might not want. It's so heart wrenching! But, I know that he will go to be with God and his parents when he is ready. He doesn't want to be artificially prolonged as that is not living the way he wants to. It's just so hard.
 
Re: A blanket of snow

Mom ended up changing her mind. It first she did not want a trach, or a feeding tube, but in the end she changed her mind. She lived only about a week after she got the feeding tube. The hardest part for us was when she quit taking her meds that would prolong her life. It was hard to accept, but she had to do what she wanted to do with her life. It did not make it any easier though. I will pray that you have strength, and Tom will make the right decision! Much love:)
 
Re: A blanket of snow

Thanks for your sweet comment and for coming to my blog! Judy
 
Signing Dad's Card

If your mom were taking her final breath would you know to call 911, do CPR, or let her die? I had to let my mom die while I was standing by her side because I knew her 5 Wishes. My mom had ALS and passed away in 2004. I have written a blog from a journal I kept while my mom was ill. I have written questions that you the reader will answer. Some questions can be life changing! Not all posts have questions though. This was my family’s journey with ALS!

In this blog post: Mom really struggling to sign Dad's card because of her ALS!

Please click the link to go to this post:


Thanks for going to my blog!

Judy
 
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Re: A blanket of snow

If your mom were taking her final breath would you know to call 911, do CPR, or let her die? I had to let my mom die while I was standing by her side because I knew her 5 Wishes. My mom had ALS and passed away in 2004. I have written a blog from a journal I kept while my mom was ill. I have written questions that you the reader will answer. Some questions can be life changing! Hopefully, my story and questions will help you. Not all posts have questions though. This was my family’s journey with ALS!

**This was written from my journal which I have put on my blog. Go to my blog if you would like to. Mom passed away in 2004.

In this blog post: My sisters and I put together a “love schedule” for Mom to have someone visit her each weekend.

My sisters and I were trying to set up what Joann called “Mom’s love schedule” in which we all scheduled a weekend to visit Mom. We were trying to cover all the weekends for the next couple of months. A copy of the schedule was printed out for each of us.

Dad, even though he is retired, decided to work another full time job. Mom doesn’t want him at home all the time taking care of her and would rather have him work. All my life, Mom has served Dad, my three sisters, and I. We had breakfast waiting for us on the table in the morning and supper in the evenings. She went ninety to nothing all day.

Mom worked as a secretary at a local church to help put us through college. She came home, cleaned, and washed a billion loads of clothes. Now, she can’t do anything. So Dad has a permanent love schedule of doing all he normally does plus all the things Mom used to do. When I go home, I ask Dad if there is anything I can help him do. I wash the clothes, clean, or whatever is needed.

Can you make a “love schedule” for your loved one?


Thanks,
Judy Royal Glenn
 
Re: A blanket of snow

If your mom were taking her final breath would you know to call 911, do CPR, or let her die? I had to let my mom die while I was standing by her side because I knew her 5 Wishes. My mom had ALS and passed away in 2004. I have written a blog from a journal I kept while my mom was ill. I have written questions that you the reader will answer. Some questions can be life changing! Hopefully, my story and questions will help you. Not all posts have questions though. This was my family’s journey with ALS!

**This was written from my journal which I have put on my blog. Go to my blog if you would like to. Mom passed away in 2004.

In this thread: Mom needs someone with her at all times. Brenda becomes Mom’s primary caregiver. Caregivers need to make sure they take care of themselves while being a caregiver.

Mom cannot be alone at this point and needs someone to care for her at all times. Brenda comes each morning to take care of her. At first, my parents hired her to clean the house and help feed Mom. Now, she is the primary caregiver in the mornings. Mom told her she was not going to get any better.

In the afternoons, friends come over to visit with Mom until Jamie gets off from work. Jamie then stays until Dad gets home. Grandmother has helped out a lot and has been a blessing. She lives across the street from Mom and comes over to help her in whatever way she can, even if it is to just sit with her. Grandmother fell a long time ago and broke her leg, but her leg never healed right. She has to walk with a cane or use a wheelchair at times.

If we cannot come down for the weekend, we would have to hire someone or Dad would have to be there 24/7. Just getting her up to go to the restroom was a major task. She has to wear a special belt around her waist to help us hoist her up without straining our backs. It has two loops around it for us to grab. After getting her up, we have to hold onto her as she struggles to put one foot in front of the other. She has fallen several times before and luckily did not break any bones.

This particular weekend was my weekend to take care of Mom. One Sunday morning on the way to church, I was walking Mom to the car and her feet stumbled under her. She fell, but I caught her. I lowered her down to her knees. I learned from a previous mistake, that instead of panicking, I needed to remain calm. She said, “You are not going to be able to get me up.” I told her in a stern voice, “Yes, I am.” I pulled her by the loops on her belt until she stood erect. She was not hurt, and we continued on our journey to church.

Who will be the caregiver for your loved one? (The caregiver needs to make sure they take care of themselves while being a caregiver.)

Blessings!
Judy Royal Glenn
 
Re: A blanket of snow

If your mom were taking her final breath would you know to call 911, do CPR, or let her die? I had to let my mom die while I was standing by her side because I knew her 5 Wishes. My mom had ALS and passed away in 2004. I have written a blog from a journal I kept while my mom was ill. I have written questions that you the reader will answer. Some questions can be life changing! Hopefully, my story and questions will help you. Not all posts have questions though. This was my family’s journey with ALS!

**This was written from my journal which I have put on my blog. Go to my blog if you would like to. Mom passed away in 2004.

In this thread: There was a conflict with the “love schedule” (a schedule of who would visit Mom each weekend).

One night, I had a very difficult conversation with Joann concerning “Mom’s love schedule.” Dad did not want two of the girls at Mom’s house on the same weekend. The four girls in my family all have children and dogs. Dad thought it would be too much on Mom to have more than one family there at a time. It might have been too stressful for him as well. Dad also enjoyed having us come down separate weekends to help out.

The conflict was Valentine’s weekend. I teach and could come down the Friday before Valentine’s Day and stay through Monday, since it was President’s Day. Joann also wanted to come up. She only lives a little over an hour from Mom and could come to see her much easier than I could. I openly sobbed and commented to her that I was counting on one hand the number of times I will be able to see her. She knew without me saying that I meant the number of times I could see her before she died. I asked Joann to talk to Dad.

She ended up not coming up the weekend I was there, but Mom also said before I left that we could come whenever we could even if there was someone already there. I hate being far away from her and not being able to help out as much.

Jamie is basically on Mom’s permanent love schedule because she lives in the same town as Mom. She helps out as much as she can, which is very demanding on her and her family. Joann made a comment to Jamie to make sure she spent time with her husband. Jamie commented there was not time for that.

Jennifer lives as far away as I do, and she has been a nurse for a very long time. When she found out Mom was sick, she put her house up for sale to move closer to her so she could visit her frequently. She and James had planned to move anyway so everything seemed to be the right time. Several months went by and the house did not sell. Over these next few months, Mom deteriorated so quickly, it was not advantageous for them to move. With a new nurses’ job, she would not be able to get time off as readily as she needed to see Mom. In order for her to help out with “Mom’s love schedule” they did not move so she could take off a lot time from work that she had built up over the years.

Questions to ponder:
**If there is a conflict with the “love schedule,” what is the best way to resolve the conflict?**
**Have you frequently asked your loved one what their wishes are concerning people visiting them?**
**Would it be advantageous for a family member to move?**


Blessings!
Judy Royal Glenn
 
Re: A blanket of snow

If your mom were taking her final breath would you know to call 911, do CPR, or let her die? I had to let my mom die while I was standing by her side because I knew her 5 Wishes. My mom had ALS and passed away in 2004. I have written a blog from a journal I kept while my mom was ill. I have written questions that you the reader will answer. Some questions can be life changing! Hopefully, my story and questions will help you. Not all posts have questions though. This was my family’s journey with ALS!

**This was written from my journal which I have put on my blog. Go to my blog if you would like to. Mom passed away in 2004.

In this thread: My children ministering to Mom who has ALS by sending her cards each week.

I thought Mom would enjoy Lauren and Ashton sending her cards each week. I knew Dad, or whichever sister was visiting her, would have to open the card for her to read. Mom has been keeping their letters and cards.

For years, Mom has sent the kids things in the mail about once a month. Ashton especially anticipates the letters and gets very excited when he receives them. She will send them various things: the kid’s section in the Wednesday’s paper, a section of the paper about a particular subject they would like, a Sunday school bulletin, stickers, but the best thing is the dollar bill she puts in there. The last time I was at Mom’s house, my sisters and I helped put together the envelopes to all the grandkids so Mom could just drop them in the mail. In return, I wanted them to write her each week.

**In what way can your children/grandchildren be asked to minister to your loved one?**

Blessings!
Judy Royal Glenn
 
Re: A blanket of snow

Hi Judy. I love your blogging. You express yourself so that I'm right there with you Dear, feeling what you must have felt. When I pray I always say "Thy will be done" . That way there is no misunderstanding or wondering on my part. I understand that God's will might not be my self centered choice or will, but the WILL OF GOD can only be the right one for me. I can't help but pray for miracles though. God's will be done.
Love,
Marta
 
Re: A blanket of snow

Hey Marta,

Thanks for your sweet reply and comments! My mom was an incredible lady, and she loved the Lord very much. I know she is praising Him in Heaven! It wasn't the Lord's will to heal my mom, even though that was what I thought at the time. I feel He had me feel this way so I could get my words on paper and help others!

I am sorry you have ALS! I can at least relate in some way. I thought for six months that I too was going to die from ALS. I had muscle twitches all over my body. It was diagnosed as Benign Fasciculation Syndrome .

My mom never said, "Why me?" She knew it was the Lord's will for her life. She depended on the Lord to help her get through especially when there was no one else. I went to your profile and saw your families photos. Let me know if I can "help" in anyway. I know I can't help, but I would love to encourage you! My favorite verse is Romans 8:28! "And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them."
 
Re: A blanket of snow

It's amazing how it all works isn't it? xoxo! :)
 
Re: A blanket of snow

If your mom were taking her final breath would you know to call 911, do CPR, or let her die? I had to let my mom die while I was standing by her side because I knew her 5 Wishes. My mom had ALS and passed away in 2004. I have written a blog from a journal I kept while my mom was ill. I have written questions that you the reader will answer. Some questions can be life changing! Hopefully, my story and questions will help you. Not all posts have questions though. This was my family’s journey with ALS!

**This was written from my journal which I have put on my blog. Go to my blog if you would like to. Mom passed away in 2004.

In this thread: People ministering to Mom and Dad from providing meals, cutting their lawn, to a 90 year old man taking Mom to the doctor!

Mom and Dad raised four girls, taking all of us to church. They are still actively attending today. When Mom got sick Christian brothers and sisters jumped in to help. Tom, from their Sunday school class, coordinated people to cut their grass.

Every Monday someone from their Sunday school class brings them a meal. Wednesday night they bring the church supper, and Thursday night another person brings them food as well. On several occasions, when I was visiting Mom, someone would call and just ask her if they could bring some food. The last time I visited, a lady knew how much Mom loved a particular restaurant’s seafood, so she went to the restaurant and brought her some. Betty, a lady in Mom’s Sunday school class, schedules all the meals, and visits as well. Mom told me a ninety year old man from the church loves to visit people, and he was coming over to visit her. She even told me he took her to the doctor’s office one day.

Questions to ponder:
** Can you volunteer to take a friend or loved one to the doctor? **
** How are you using your God given talents, resources, abilities, and gifts to serve a friend or loved one? **
** Would you be willing to coordinate visits and meals for someone? **


"Whenever we have the opportunity, we should do good to everyone especially to our Christian brothers and sisters." Galatians 6:10

Blessings!
Judy Royal Glenn
 
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