Forum Follies -- Take it from here, Glen

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BethU

BethU

Extremely helpful member
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May 11, 2008
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PALS
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05/2008
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When last we saw our hero, Glen "The Twitcher," he had just awakened from an incredible dream. It had seemed so real. He had been in St. Twitchies Hospital, where uber-bodacious, loquacious, salacious and undulacious Pirate Queen (aaarrrggg) Doctor Rose ... wearing a wet T-shirt and very little else ... had ripped him a new oriface.

But it had only been a dream, right?

RIGHT?

The Twitcher sat on the edge of the bed, trembling and twitching up a storm. There was a flash of lightening, as the prose turned purple and distant thunder rumbled across the night.

Suddenly, a chill ran down The Twitcher's back. He sensed that there was something dangling between his legs that hadn't been there before. Could the dream possibly have been real? Could the Pirate Queen have pegged him after all?

In the far distance ... farther even than the thunder ... a puppy howled as the moon slid behind the clouds ...
 
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Thinking out loud ...

Wha the fuh ... damned EL is giving me nightmares again. {{shiver}}

{{shiver again}} I gotta go whiz. Where is that damned walker.

{{grabs walker and stands up}} Woa ... pulled a muscle in tummy - its got to be gas

{{wheels walker into wall, bounces back , runs over cat}}

Ya , i'm home , what a dream I had .

{{wheels into washroom, leans on wall , drops the scivvies, and grabs for my old friend}}

OMG ... whats this plastic thing ? {{gives it a tug}} AAYYEEEE that effin hurt !

{{grabs again before signing my name on the wall}} Ahhhhhhhh .

head over to sink , I dint pee on my fingers , but wash em anyways.

Turn on the light - HOLY SHIT , Ive been PEGGED . Or , I am dreaming and I have begun the transformation into a Borg.

Finally slipping back into bed , wondering how this happened , maybe someone will explain it to me in the morning.

{{unconscious once again}}
 
I sit up in bed , wide awake . I'm beginning to remember , nurses , and doctors all saying they would check on me . What have I done.

{{flash of lightning}} I should start drinking again , then I would be able to explain this.

Sleep
 
Stage whisper~ Narrator's voice: Dr Rose still wears a nurses cap, a throw back from the old days, while she worked as a nurse by day, and studied for her MD via online correspondence course by night...(Actually, the main reason she wears it is because I just spent a good little while with the paint program on my computer adding a nurses cap on my avatar's head, then I saw the "Dr" bestowed by Beth, so, we've got to roll with it)

The follies continue:

...The halls of the hospital are quiet. Eerily so... too quiet in fact. Drat, Dr Rose whispers to herself, have I lost another one? ... and then the quiet was dispelled, a reverberation almost like the roll of thunder echoed throughout the 13th floor. Relief washes over her. That HAS to be a new PEG fart, once again it seems my surgery has been a success. She decides to take a peek in on Mr Twitch, and make sure all of his plumbing is in place.

(Dr Rose applies some fresh lipstick and undulates into the room.)

But, the hospital room stands empty! There is no sign of Mr Twitch anywhere. However, over in the corner of the room, in the visitor chair, sits a black puppy, playing with a whoopee cushion.... why would Mr Twitch gone to such lengths to cover his escape from the confines of this hospital? what does the comfort of his home offer that a cold, sterile (in atmosphere if not literally) institution doesn't? Sure he has a family that loves him, and a cat who loves to trip him, but here he has hospital food delivered to his bed, a television remote he didn't need to share with anyone, and an interesting acoustical ceiling to stare at.... curses, she muttered under her breath, now who am I going to use for my unsanctioned highly secret experiments. Every time I find a really good twitcher it seems they get away!
 
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i can't sleep curosity is getting the best of me ...i shall sneak into the kitchen and try and see how this works, i will find something easy to try... if i don't turn on light's no one will see me ....ahhh this looks so good i will try this .i pull it from the fridge ahhh darn tab how can i open it as i look franticly around there's one all ready open i reach for it ...and the loud banning at my door frighten me so much i dropped my beer i need so bad as the nurse turnes open the door knob .... i hear..i knew i would find you here c'mere my twitcher and then everything went black
 
Doctor Rose notices that the window in the Twitcher's room is open. "No wonder is is so damn cold in here" she mutters to herself as she floats across the floor to close the window. When she gets to the window she notices a small pool of what can only be strawberry flavour Ensure Plus on the floor and more on the window ledge. Because this is the fifth floor she becomes worried that her newest patient has gone missing in the worst possible way. Looking out the window she looks down fearing the worst but there is nothing unusual about what she sees, then she looks up. And there he is, the Twitcher, hovering in mid air. He has a big grin on his face and is madly trying to keep his hospital gown closed with one hand while grabbing for Rose's nurse cap with the other. "I want to thank you doc, my new super tube has given me new super powers" Suddenly there is a giant belch from his midsection and he drops a floor. Recovering quickly he says "Now if you'll excuse me I have a mid air refueling appointment with the Budweiser corporate jet and I'm late". And with that he turns and flies away. "Strange" says Rose "I didn't think there was a full moon tonight"
 
Paging Dr Killdem, Paging Dr Killdem

{{I open my eyes, its so bright in here, things are coming into focus.}}
{{I'm in a hospital room. I am cold. I feel someone re-arranging the streakers pyjamas I am wearing}}

{{I thought I was at home , No , I was home , I don't know , so fuzzy}}

{{why cant I keep my eyes open}}

{{A voice asks if I want a warm blanket.}}

{{What kind of drugs did they give me?}}

{{oh ... say ... that feels good and warm and I force open my eyes}}
{{I see Nurse Rose at the base of the bed leaning over my feet, [My those are nice foot warmers] , placing a heated blanket over my legs.}}

The warmth increases the effect of the sedative still active in my system . I fight to stay awake , but succumb to the alternate reality of my unconscious mind.
 
Good! He's passed out. Now its time to call in my research assistants... Dr Rose rubs her hands together in anticipation.

Narrator cuts in again. (liken his whisper to that of an amazingly annoying PGA Tour sportscaster~ pick any of them, none know when to shut up!)

Ahem, (narrator clears his throat) Aren't I supposed to be narrating?

Sorry, go ahead. [that was me answering, lots of espresso this morning just not very much creativeness kicking in LOL]

Narrator: It seems this weekend's follies have a slight problem. We don't have cast members. We are looking for those willing to commit mayhem, execute any level of writing skills, and generally enjoy the weekend. So, where are the thugs, i.e. "research assistants" ... and, Dr Rose needs some competition, don't think for one moment she's the only lunatic research (what a laugh) doctor out there! What happened to PZ and his basement of cohorts?
 
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The head research nurse approaches Dr. Rose. I'm almost ready with the vials and Dr. Bill Frederick Schmidt (a fellow here at the university hospital) will be assisting in the terribly unauthorized procedure that will follow.
 
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And now back to our show...

Dr. BFS rouses the hapless patient. "Do you have your estate in order?" The patient groggily replies, "Estate?" The doc becomes annoyed and asks, "Do you have your affairs in order?" The patient replies, "Affairs?" This unhinges the fellow and the head research nurse gives the young whippersnapper (he resembles Leonardo DiCaprio, who wants to play this role? Barry?) a good tongue lashing as only a true belle can do! "Don't you know most ALS patients have no estates? They go thru those faster than Sherman burning Atlanta you idiot! And affairs?!? You need to learn bedside manners!" He then asks the patient to puff up his cheeks and blow...
 
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Sorry but the Leo role will have to go to someone else, I am about to be descended on by women. Now normally this would be a good thing in my books but in this case the women are my three sisters and my wife. With my son gone back to university I will be the only male present (other than the cat and he isn't really male anymore) so I will be hard pressed to get an electronic word in edgewise :shock::shock:. OK now I have to go clean the bathroom, have fun.
 
A robot voice is heard echoing through the halls ...

"Paging Doctors. Zaphoon, Capt. Al, Wright. Moderator Al: Code Puce, Fifth Floor."

A clatter of bedpans, an anquished meow, and robotic muttering is heard over the loudspeakers.

"Sorry, my bad. Code Puke, Fifth Floor."[/I]
 
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rose said:
Last edited by rose : Today at 09:45 AM Reason: BTW Glen, I just caught that about the foot warmers, purposefully didn't crop the picture so as to aid in your recovery. :)
Click to expand...
Rose, it's helping a lot of us recover.
 
Dr. PZ was busy at work in his basement laboratory, brewing up his latest batch of "PZ's New (and improved!) Amazing Elixor" when there was a sudden tap on his basement window. He opened the window to discover a strange lady dressed in black all in a tizzy!

The woman conveyed to the good doctor that she had just spotted a flying lunatic overhead sporting a peg of sorts and saying, "I'm late! I'm late for a very important date!". The mysterious visitor stated she had seen the light on in the basement and decided to cry for help to the famous physician!

So, she cried, "FOR HELP!" (ahem...)

Dr. PZ asked for the exact spot of the sighting, quickly filled a dart capsule from his newest vat of "PZ's New (and improved!) Amazing Elixor" and loaded it into his dart gun (which had stamped, "Its Swell Its Mattell" on the barrel).

Together, off they went to hunt and bring down the flying pegged lunatic and make the world safe once more.
 
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