BarryG
Extremely helpful member
- Joined
- Nov 19, 2008
- Messages
- 3,000
- Diagnosis
- 02/2008
- Country
- CA
- State
- Alberta
- City
- Hinton
Well hello all, the 3:10 to Yuma is in so here is this weekend's episode of Forum Follies or in this case:
Forum Fillies: Higher Plane Twitcher
The horse is a nervous, skittish animal that would just as soon bite or kick you as look at you. The rider is tall and mean looking, the kind of man who would just as soon shoot you as look at you. Both of them are covered in the dust that accumulates over weeks on the trail. They walk slowly and deliberately into the town past the curious and suspicious townsfolk who all wonder “who is this stranger and why has he come to our town? No one ever comes to our town” Lago is not the kind of town that anyone would come to willingly, like many towns in the old west it has few virtues and many vices.
The stranger stops in front of one of the vices, The Good, the Bad and the Ugly Saloon. He dismounts, ties his horse to the rail and walks through the swinging doors. In the darkened bar he sees a Motley Crue of drunks, gamblers, cowboys, working girls and two small, dark, curly haired mutts who growl at each other in the corner. Walking up to the bar he calls to the bartender “Whisky, Big Whisky”. A woman at the bar girls sidles up to the stranger, looks him up and down and says “Hellooo big fella, is that a six gun in your pocket are you just happy to see me? The stranger, a man of few words, just looks at her through squinted eyes and growls “Go away”.
The bartender says “”Hey you, be nice to Miss Kitty, she is the owner of this joint since Miss Thelma ran away to New York City with that rascal dandy Calvin Klein, him and his fancy shirts”. “Sorry” says the dusty stranger to Miss Kitty “you remind me of my mother, I hate my mother”. “That’s OK” says Miss Kitty, “you are Unforgiven, at least until High Noon”. “What happens at high noon?” asks the stranger. “That’s when we all start twitching” replies a shadowy figure in the dark recesses of the bar. “Nothing to worry about really but it is very aggravating and makes it damn hard to shoot straight”. “Shut up Everready, you Jack----Rabbit” yells the bartender “You don’t need to tell him about that”. “No, You shut up Gumby, I’m getting tired of your plastic face always being so quick to tell me what to do”. “Well you know”” said Gumby “You’re either Quick or you’re Dead”. The stranger, deciding that he will get no peace in the bar, grabs the bottle and walks out into the street where he bumps into the local preacher, Pastor Joel, who is walking with the school marm, Miss Rose.
“Oh, excuse us” coos Miss Rose “we are just on our way to visit Missus Beth, one of the surviving members of the Magnificent Seven Women, who is feelin poorly. She hasn’t stopped twitchin since being treated by the doc”. “Not that I care, but he don’t sound like much of a doctor to me” says the stranger. Pastor Joel, obviously offended by the crude man, states “I’ll have you know sir that Doctor Cialis is one of the most UPstanding medical men in the world. He studied under the great doctor Hindgrinder himself at the world famous Hardwick Institute! Bored, the stranger turns and walks away toward the hotel in search of a hot bath……
I got a little carried away and obviously I have WAY too much time on my hands but I was having fun so, go to it! :-D:-D
Forum Fillies: Higher Plane Twitcher
The horse is a nervous, skittish animal that would just as soon bite or kick you as look at you. The rider is tall and mean looking, the kind of man who would just as soon shoot you as look at you. Both of them are covered in the dust that accumulates over weeks on the trail. They walk slowly and deliberately into the town past the curious and suspicious townsfolk who all wonder “who is this stranger and why has he come to our town? No one ever comes to our town” Lago is not the kind of town that anyone would come to willingly, like many towns in the old west it has few virtues and many vices.
The stranger stops in front of one of the vices, The Good, the Bad and the Ugly Saloon. He dismounts, ties his horse to the rail and walks through the swinging doors. In the darkened bar he sees a Motley Crue of drunks, gamblers, cowboys, working girls and two small, dark, curly haired mutts who growl at each other in the corner. Walking up to the bar he calls to the bartender “Whisky, Big Whisky”. A woman at the bar girls sidles up to the stranger, looks him up and down and says “Hellooo big fella, is that a six gun in your pocket are you just happy to see me? The stranger, a man of few words, just looks at her through squinted eyes and growls “Go away”.
The bartender says “”Hey you, be nice to Miss Kitty, she is the owner of this joint since Miss Thelma ran away to New York City with that rascal dandy Calvin Klein, him and his fancy shirts”. “Sorry” says the dusty stranger to Miss Kitty “you remind me of my mother, I hate my mother”. “That’s OK” says Miss Kitty, “you are Unforgiven, at least until High Noon”. “What happens at high noon?” asks the stranger. “That’s when we all start twitching” replies a shadowy figure in the dark recesses of the bar. “Nothing to worry about really but it is very aggravating and makes it damn hard to shoot straight”. “Shut up Everready, you Jack----Rabbit” yells the bartender “You don’t need to tell him about that”. “No, You shut up Gumby, I’m getting tired of your plastic face always being so quick to tell me what to do”. “Well you know”” said Gumby “You’re either Quick or you’re Dead”. The stranger, deciding that he will get no peace in the bar, grabs the bottle and walks out into the street where he bumps into the local preacher, Pastor Joel, who is walking with the school marm, Miss Rose.
“Oh, excuse us” coos Miss Rose “we are just on our way to visit Missus Beth, one of the surviving members of the Magnificent Seven Women, who is feelin poorly. She hasn’t stopped twitchin since being treated by the doc”. “Not that I care, but he don’t sound like much of a doctor to me” says the stranger. Pastor Joel, obviously offended by the crude man, states “I’ll have you know sir that Doctor Cialis is one of the most UPstanding medical men in the world. He studied under the great doctor Hindgrinder himself at the world famous Hardwick Institute! Bored, the stranger turns and walks away toward the hotel in search of a hot bath……
I got a little carried away and obviously I have WAY too much time on my hands but I was having fun so, go to it! :-D:-D