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skipper66

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Hi ! Hope this is ok to post on here. This is Skipper (Kim). I lost my dad to ALS in November. Anyway, I need neutral people to help me decide what to do about a issue. I am separted from my husband. Anyway, I am wanting to make more money. So, I asked to talk to my boss the other day to let him know about some issues going on in my department and also the fact that I really need more hours. I am extremely upset and what he said to me which was ''I can't understand why you want more hours. Didn't you get a inheritence?" I feel this is none of his f----- business! Stupid me responded "Yes, I did. But, I still have tons of expenses. " I was just caught totally off guard. Anyway, I did call his head boss later that day and told her about it and that I wasn't sure if I wanted her to approach him about it or not. She was very upset that my boss would say something like that and wants my permission to talk to him about it. I am supposed to let her know in the next few days. I am afraid of retaliation from my boss. But, I don't think he should get aways with this either. I'm asking here because I can't talk about it to alot of people without it getting back to the wrong source. Please give me your opinions. Thank you, KIm
 
So, as I see it, you have 2 choices. Say nothing if you are getting the extra hours and dont talk about your personal life at work or work with the hostility that ensues.
 
My boss was bestfriends with my uncle (who has since passed). My aunt (through marriage) is his secretary. So, he knows all about my family already. Rather or not I disclose anything or not.
 
I have recently been in a somewhat similar situation. I quit the job in dramatic fashion. (Which I don't recommend.)

I hate to say this, but some things just can't be set right. Good people get screwed. Retaliation is common at work.

There is hope sometimes. I have seen some cases--in government jobs--where a person in your situation fought hard, using every avenue of redress, and managed to win against their bosses. This requires a real fighting nature.

Otherwise, workplace inequity is like ALS. It isn't fair, and there isn't anything to do about it.

Your best bet--and I wish I had done this--is to go to the head of HR and really press your case face to face. Tell her/him your concerns, if only to give them a heads up that something 'not right' is going on.
 
Hi Kim
Just a thought, but what if you told his boss that you'd like to address it first even though you brought it up to her. Maybe go back to him and say you've been thinking about what he said and find it inappropriate to be asked your personal reasons for wanting it and ask for an answer that's strictly business related, i.e., there just aren't any hours available or sure, here you go.
 
If you're afraid of retaliation and need/want the job (though from the family history, might you be ready to move on?), approaching him on your own carries a similar risk as involving your boss. One approach is to write up what happened (names, dates, word for word based on your recall). Then put it in a safe place (w/ a third party) and tell him that if you lose your job or have your hours, role or working conditions change in any negative way, or receive a negative reference, the third party is instructed to send copies to the C-suite, parent company if applicable, the EEOC [not strictly applicable, but who knows] and HR.

That's hardball. You can decide what works best for you. I'm sorry this happened but maybe it's a signpost that you should be looking?

Best,
Laurie
 
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