Status
Not open for further replies.

azwxman

Distinguished member
Joined
Jun 15, 2014
Messages
147
Reason
PALS
Diagnosis
06/2014
Country
US
State
az
City
tucson
Marty posted about dating, but I'm wondering about peoples experience in the opposite direction: did the reality of the diagnosis/prognosis contribute to divorce?
I'm not on the verge of one, but I have seen in my life the huge pressure added to an already stressful situation, might lead to a divorce.

How would one cope, not only with the impending loss of abilities and life, but loss of that established companionship? Talk about devastating...
 
It is my personal opinion that there are some people who honestly can't handle being a caregiver for somebody else. They are either physically or mentally unable to do so. Sometimes, both! But, then there are the vows you take when you get married that say "In sickness and in health until death do us part." At least that is said in my denomination. But, I think there is nothing wrong with getting outside help with the care of your loved one's. You shouldn't be expected to do all the caregiving yourself. But, if you run when they need you the most. You are just a coward in my opinion. You never truly loved them. The person with a illness in the long run is better off without them.
My dad has ALS now. But, he took care of my mom when she had colon and breast cancer for 5 years. He helped her with her colostomy bag and everything. He didn't run. He took her to Vegas several times and did everything to make her days as happy as they could be. Did he has stress? Hell, Yes! The bills were out of this world! He took her all over the U.S. trying to find a cure. He was her partner in every sense of the world.
When a spouse gets a bad disease both people suffer tremendously. Sometimes, the person with the disease handles it even better then the family member watching it happen.
I personally don't believe in divorce. I think it's for cowards. I know there are exceptions to this and I don't want to debate them here. Nobody said marriage was going to be easy every minute. Yes, it would be extremely devastating to lose your partner when you are in a battle for your life. But, wouldn't you rather know what kind of person they really are instead of living in a lie? Kim
 
>I personally don't believe in divorce.

yea, and who would get the dogs?
 

Attachments

  • DSC_8968-2.jpg
    DSC_8968-2.jpg
    985.2 KB · Views: 283
I would take your dogs in a heartbeat Max. Lol It will be a little bit yet but I'm going to be getting a dog for sure.
 
we just sent Maize's brother to jenny in Germany :)
 

Attachments

  • IMG_0886.JPG
    IMG_0886.JPG
    3.5 MB · Views: 344
  • IMG_0882.jpg
    IMG_0882.jpg
    2.1 MB · Views: 323
  • IMG_0891.JPG
    IMG_0891.JPG
    2.1 MB · Views: 374
  • IMG_0907.JPG
    IMG_0907.JPG
    3 MB · Views: 287
  • IMG_0896.JPG
    IMG_0896.JPG
    2 MB · Views: 304
Thank god for my girl Holly. She's a Sheltie and the love of my life!
 

Attachments

  • image.jpg
    image.jpg
    148.4 KB · Views: 234
>Thank god for my girl Holly. She's a Sheltie and the love of my life!

:) the dogs and I keep Sandy around for food, chores, and poop scooping :)
 

Attachments

  • 10662087_381771395316374_6212191199294361639_o.jpg
    10662087_381771395316374_6212191199294361639_o.jpg
    92.8 KB · Views: 271
I'd keep the dog but the back yard is gonna fill up.
 
"I personally don't believe in divorce. I think it's for cowards. I know there are exceptions to this and I don't want to debate them here."

Kim... maybe it was best not said at all then.
 
Dogs? The real question is who would get the cat:)

Steve
 
Azwxman, I'll apologize that your Thread got side tracked to dogs and cats. It's sad you are struggling now on two fronts. But... sometimes things work out for the better and we don't see it until much later. There's an old saying, "Sometimes you keep so much more by losing big one time." Hope things work out.
 
>Thank god for my girl Holly. She's a Sheltie and the love of my life!

:) the dogs and I keep Sandy around for food, chores, and poop scooping :)


If you aren't careful, Max, Sandy is going to be scooping YOU!
 
i'm waiting to see what BigMark makes of this statement... ;^)

I believe in divorce, sometimes people just grow apart and just become so selfish that they can't stand being together, loosing sight of what actually brought them together.
It would be cowardly for some to divorce a person with a terminal illness.
If my CALS was to kick me out or divorce me at this point, I wouldn't even care about dating....there isn't a demand for 6'4ish 300 pound dudes that can't speak for sh!t, and walk like Frankenstein with a board in his a$$.
Having a terminal disease where everything gets taken away from you, makes it very hard on attitude and relationships. One person still has a life, while the PALS life revolves around doc appointment and trips to the pharmacy, and the funk of physical disintegration.
ps....I am enclosing a pic of my b!tch!
 

Attachments

  • IMG_1875.JPG
    IMG_1875.JPG
    501.1 KB · Views: 174
Mark, your ***** is beautiful. Now how about a pic of your lovely wife?

I have to disagree with one thing you wrote (oh no!). Sweetie, when the PALS' life is full of appointments and funk so is the CALS'. We love you all so much that even when we escape, it's not escape. We can't sleep all day (well, I could, but then I wouldn't be worth a darn to my man and he'd have no clean clothes). It's so painful to give up that normal life and focus everything on the love of our lives only to become the target of some of that attitude. I understand that physically we can do those normal things, but having a normal life would be like divorcing a PALS.

I can't imagine leaving my husband---not in a million years. This life he's facing is my life, but we can never know what goes on in another relationship, so I'm learning to try not to judge. However...
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back
Top