Dating

[mpnatx]

I spent the day with my sister yesterday. We talked and discussed many things.
My sister said to me "Why don't you find a girlfriend or a companion?". I said "are you crazy. Who would ever want to start a relationship with a person that has a disease like mine?". She said "I don't know. But you never know."
I told her that a new relationship would take too much effort and that I wouldn't want to put anyone thru what I know is going to happen with me in the future.

I live alone and I do miss companionship. The closeness, hugging, cuddling and just having a soul mate and friend.
I told my sister, those days are gone, but not forgotten!
Marty

 

[azwxman]

I feel for ya, Marty. As a matter of fact, I had been married less than 2 years when I starting noticing symptoms.
I can't help feeling fairly guilty: "Congratulations on your marriage, now you get to look forward to changing me and bathing me, and...".

As has been said by better than me" ALS Sux"

 

[gooseberry]

We have been married 26 years. I do not know your ages but I am 47 and steve is 58. I think when you find someone you want to be with, and who wants to be with you, someone with a loving generous heart, you have to allow them to make the decision to be with you. We get up every day looking at loss. If you can have a companion or the love of your life, why deny yourself? Talk to the person, be open, be honest and see where it goes. Music just got married. Don't miss out on the love and compassion of another if you have the chance.

 

[Nuts]

Gooseberry said it well. Don't refuse anyone who choses to come in to your life.

I think you have to be honest with people who show an interest, but if they don't run then don't you push them away. Don't stop living, and don't assume that no one whould want to love you as long as possible.

Having said that, the love of my life came along exactly at the point that I had decided I didn't want a man around. Go figure. Live, make friends, and accept whatever comes your way. Of course, to do that you need to be out in the world as much as you are able. Please don't shut yourself away because you think it's not fair to others to learn to like or love you.

 

[skipper66]

I agree with Gooseberry and Nuts. Be honest with people and let them decide to stick around or not. Just make the best of each day. Start by making good friendships first and then take it from there. You still got alot to offer people so let them in.

 

[mpnatx]

This is something I've been thinking about. I know several single women that have either never been married or are divorced. These are good women are self supporting and work hard volunteering for good causes.

If I was to marry one of them, would they be eligible for any compensation after I'm gone?
I would love to leave a deserving person something they can really use. No strings attached. One of the candidates lives cross country and does so much charity work (including ALS) and could really use any funds that I may be able to provide.
Is this a possibility?

 

[Nikki J]

Assuming you are eligible for social security your wife could claim social security on your benefit at retirement age if it was more than her benefit. The ss death benefit is a pittance less than 250 which as you know would not begin to cover burial. If you are eligible for VA benefits or have some other pension there might be more money to talk about. Balance that with any financial obligations the lady would have if you were married and needed medicaid

If you are well enough to get out and involved in some activity though do so. At the least make friends maybe more. I know of several men who found female companions after diagnosis so it does happen

 

[MaxEidswick]

>I agree with Gooseberry and Nuts. Be honest with people and let them decide to stick around or not. Just make the best of each day. Start by making good friendships first and then take it from there. You still got alot to offer people so let them in.

Ditto that!

 

[mpnatx]

Great comments. Thank you all.