Status
Not open for further replies.

Zaphoon

Extremely helpful member
Joined
Aug 2, 2008
Messages
2,857
Reason
DX UMND/PLS
Diagnosis
08/2011
Country
US
State
Missouri
City
Springfield
98F...with a heat index of, uh, the surface of the sun.

it's so hot you could cook a three course meal on the sidewalk

* You notice your car overheating before you drive it.

* Your computer won't work unless it has it's own AC blowing on it.

* Hot air balloons can't go up, because the air outside is hotter than the air inside.

* Airplanes can't land because the asphalt is too soft.

* You discover that it only takes two fingers to drive your car.

* The swans in the park come in "original recipe" and "extra crispy."

* Hotter water comes from the cold water tap than the hot one.

* The strawberries are ripe and the cab drivers are riper.

* Your pool water starts to boil in the sun.

* The hot-dogs sold outside Yankee Stadium are actually hot.

* Pigs complain about sweating like fat humans.

* A scalding hot shower still cools you down.

* You've been getting hot flashes, and you're a man.

* People walking down the sidewalk spontaneously burst into flames.

* A $20 surcharge is added to your bill when you eat at air-conditioned restaurants.

* The politicians take their hands out of your pockets to fan themselves.

* You need a spatula to remove your clothing.

* When the beer gut and big butt don't keep you from wearing shorts.

* You wish you had gotten the cloth seats instead of leather.

* You ask your boss for extra work so you can be in the air conditioning as much as possible.

* You are sweating in both directions -- up and down!

* Lawyers kill themselves because they know it's cooler in Hell.

* It's noon in July, kids are on summer vacation, and not one person is moving on the streets.

* Sunscreen is sold at the front of the checkout counter, a formula less than 30 spf is a joke, and you wear it just to go shopping.

* You burn your hand opening the car door.

* You notice the best parking place is determined by shade instead of distance.

* You are sitting inside reading these jokes.

* Your brother's braces make blisters on his lips.
 
I had to laugh at all these Kim, feels just that way here! Oh well guess we are never satisfied right?
 
I'm sure my eyeballs will pop out once they get a look at the next utility bill! I'll get a bowl ready to catch them, just in case!

With this heat, you can sure tell in a hurry who forgot to put their deodorant on this morning!
 
Way too funny for this Florida girl!
 
I sure do not miss the midwestern summers! Reno NV is at about 4000 ft elevation, and it does get hot, but no humidity. Usually about a30 to 35 degree difference between the high and low temp. It is 88 now, and a feel like temp of 83. The low tonite will be 56.
 
Here in the Black Hills we are about a mile above sea level. Earlier today it was a pleasant 80° - now it is about 60°, overcast and some thunder in the distance. The weather forecast says it will drop into the low 50s tonight.

Kim, when are your daughter and son-in-law, moving to South Dakota? They better come prepared for a wide range of temperatures within a 24 hour timeframe. :)
 
Last edited:
High tomorrow 100. Heat index 110! I did, indeed, have to peel my clothes off when I got back from the grocer today! Humidity is a real scorcher! How did those southern belles wear all those petticoats and bloomers back in the 1800's? No wonder they fainted all the time! ;)

Today I could have slid down a slip and slide without water! LOL Maybe tomorrow I'll be a human sprinkler! (My husband use to have a dance he made up called the human sprinkler! He' so silly sometimes!)
 
Last edited:
I been wearing bruce's deodorant...too hot! Plus the hot flashes...lol
 
Last edited:
Let's not forget the hot flashes :)
 
Survey I saw on another website this morning:

And the winner for Most Annoying Comment About Summer weather is…

“Hot enough for ya?”
“It’s not the heat; it’s the humidity.”
“Yeah, but it’s a dry heat.”
“It’s hot enough to fry an egg out there!”
Other (specify in the comments)

It's warm out, but after the winter we had, I'm not complaining! Especially since with my 10' ceilings and huge old trees, my house is still ok with the fan going on the first floor, and the window ac going in the second.

I voted for the "hot enough for ya?" as the most annoying, and then find myself saying it myself!
 
So, are we all heading to Lori's in Reno or (excuse me while I smack my laptop...when will it learn what I'm aiming to tap?) or up to Diane's where she has lots of room, daily hospice visits and a housekeeper as well as a chef--but Lori's also a wonderful cook. Her beef jerky is great.

Yes, hot here. I have a window AC in my room and keep the doors shut. Sadly, the only comfortable chair is in front of the AC, and a friend came by today. I had to ask if she wanted the AC turned off, which she did. My doctor, or x-doctor came last night and she sat on the floor by the head of my bed.
 
Diane I sleep with two ceiling fans running in our bedroom, plus a tall floor fan blowing right on me, and the air low, still strip down at night cause I am sweating. Uggg I hate it!
 
I remember a- it was so hot I saw 2 fire hydrants fighting over a dog. Sorry couldn't resist.
 
Good one Michael!
 
I have to say IT IS HOT IN TENNESSEE...WHEW! I am not complaining any longer that Hub turns the AC to 63 at night so he can sleep comfortably. I use one blanket and a comforter on top of my sheet. Brian (my hub) was an eskimo in a previous life... LOL
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back
Top