lost mother

[lost mother]

i just found out my son has ALS hes married with one child... as a mother i am devastated, i am suppose to protect my children, they are not suppose to die before me, its not about me its about him. they say the kind he has is very aggressive and he has maybe 2 to 5 years . i can not imagine my life without him in it.. how do i hold it together to help him? i am suppose to protect my children... hes not a mama's boy and has a great family is very independent. i couldn't be prouder of him. i dont want him to know how bad i am loosing it.... i want to be strong for him and his family... how? i keep saying i have him now...take baby steps one day at a time but its so over shadowed with not having him one day....oh God this hurts.....i am trying to tell myself today i have him today he is fine... i cant imagine all the people on hear going threw the same thing.. my heart goes out to everybody.... i can not imagine ....

 

[Atsugi]

I know. It sucks. Horrific disease.

Everybody gets through it differently.

As for me, I made it my mission to make my wife comfortable and pain free, and give her whatever she wanted each day.

Above all, maintain a good relationship. Back off when he needs you to. I hate to say it, but his wife is Number One, now.

You might want to confide in someone often. Maybe a pastor or counselor.

 

[Nuts]

I understand how you feel--this is miserable. How do we get through it? As Mike said, each differently. I try to put aside emotion and help my husband enjoy life as much as he can as he progresses. Everything is about him. I would suggest that you support your son's wife as much as you can. My father-in-law is a great comfort to me and he never fails to tell me how much he appreciates me. You can help your son by helping his wife. Your grandchild will also need you. Acceptance is difficult, but once you accept what you cannot change then you can fill your mind with doing what you can to give him comfort and peace, and supporting is family is how you do that.

I'm sorry. You should not have to bury your child. You may find some comfort in providing comfort to him and his family.

Becky

 

[lgelb]

Lost,
It takes time to process this. You will be a great help to him and his family once you have. When he was ill as a child, you comforted him about what you could not change and alleviated the symptoms you could. This is not that much different, except it will likely be his last illness. We will help you (and at some point, you might want to mention the forum to him/his wife if they do not know) however we can.

Best,
Laurie

 

[affected]

Firstly I am so sorry for your son's diagnosis.

I made it my mission to concentrate on my husband, not myself and my loss.

This is the worst disease and your son is the one facing it. You might start to get past this overwhelming stage (the first month is certainly the worst time emotionally), by getting involved with how you can help. Do it now. My husband was gone 11 months after diagnosis and his kids were more upset at their loss than what he as facing and then he was gone and they cannot turn back the clock.

 

[lost mother]

i know that my sons wife and child come first, i dont expect to... i need to help them as well.. for now they do not want their little girl to know.. and i appreciate how his wife is handling this . i am trying and going to try to be as supportive of her as i can be.. its a hard path for her as well.. and i hope once i get past how i am feeling now i will be more able to help her and be more supportive... i feel very guilty i feel so bad and am not stronger at the moment. but i am certain i can be.. i cant imagine how devastating this is to everybody on this list to some who have no family to help them... i have added this group to my prayers .... thank you all for your comfort

 

[affected]

The first month is just awful, don't expect too much of yourself straight up.

You will find a way to deal with it all, but it will be incredibly hard. That's what this support is all about. I would encourage you to recommend your son and his wife join here too.

Be gentle with yourself.

 

[Nikki J]

Tillie is right on all. This is a terrible and shocking time. You will find your way. Your support will be invaluable to everyone. How old is your granddaughter? To deal with this when there is a child in the household is especially heartbreaking. There will be so many ways to help and you will do what is needed I am sure.

And you surely need support as you will be giving so much so I am glad you found us!

 

[lost mother]

A friend of mine is a grief counselor, i talked to her about how i am feeling how i know my son, his wife, his little girl come first and i need to find the strength to help them that i just am finding it hard at present her words were.. that i needed to stop feeling so bad i was so upset. that the loss of a child is often worse than the loss of a spouse.. she said i will find the strength it made me feel better..
when i am around my son and his family i am able to hold it together and be strong, helpful.. Actually neither of them know that i am a mess,i don't think it would help my son at all to know... only this group knows ....i am going to a support group the 4th of Feb for ALS.
my heart so goes out to everybody on this group ,... thank you for your support during this time that is hard for you all as well....

Confidence, courage and determined spirit are vital for surviving hard times.”
― Lailah Gifty Akita

“Every great warrior must learn to endure and overcome the adversities of life.”
― Lailah Gifty Akita, Pearls of Wisdom: SO far my survival rate for surviving adversities is 100%

 

[CiCi]

Wow! I just loved your quote " So far my survival rate for surviving advertises is 100%"
You are so lucky to have a friend that is a griief counselor. Lean on her and your friends here. CiCi

 

[fionae]

Dear Lost,
I want you to know I am thinking of you and your son.
How horrible all around...
Prayers and caring thoughts from
One Mother to Another Mother.
God Bless.
Sincerely,
Laura.

 

[Green Queen]

Lost,
You are found.
We will comfort and support you and answer your questions.

 

[cooks919293]

My prayers are with you and anyone who has been affected. I lost my mom at age 55 and my brother at age 32. My nightly prayer
includes others who have are dealing with this ALS.

 

[lost mother]

Thank you for your support sometimes i just have to regroup and take some deep breaths.. but i appericate your support greatly thank you.. i cant imagine anybody who has to do this alone. my prayers are with all who have anything to deal with this horrible thing....

 

[Nuts]

How are you doing, lost? How are your son and his wife doing?

Becky