feeling helpless
Member
- Joined
- Mar 9, 2009
- Messages
- 28
- Reason
- Loved one DX
- Diagnosis
- 03/2006
- Country
- uk
- State
- West Sussex
- City
- sussex
I lost dad today. I just wanted evryone to know that in the end, after months of pain and struggling he went to sleep on Sunday morning after a night of aggitation. The nurses upped his syringe driver and roused him to tell him this was it now and he nodded in acceptance. We struggled with him over the last few days to manage his pain but the district nurses were wonderful running back and forth to the farmhouse to top him up. Yesterday we got the mix just right and he gradually slipped into a coma.
We both had the chance to say what we needed to even though it was hard to understand him at times we both told each other we loved one another and i told him how proud of him i was and how brave he had been. About 3am he lost colour and his breathing changed. For the first time in months he seemed reaxed and comfortable and his breathing was calm and effortless. Hard to beleive he had ever had such chronic breathing difficulties at all. We finally lost him at 1.45pm in the afternoon. If we had blinked we would have missed his passing it was that calm , but we had been watching him like a hawk for 5 days and nights running and noticed the slight change quickly. It was over in seconds. He gave one tiny breath and was gone. No pain, no struggle, no effort. We are the only ones struggling now............so strong , so brave, he fought this awful disease with everything he had. I hope this will put many minds at ease of how peaceful it can be if you get the right mix of morphine and midazolam. Icannot thank everyone enough from all of you on alsforums, district nurses, M.N.D nurses, hospice staff and G.P's. You've been great. Still very raw, my 10 yr old is finding it tough as he was very close to Grandad. ...... and finally.........."Goodnight Dad, Rest In Peace, I love you"...xxxxx
We both had the chance to say what we needed to even though it was hard to understand him at times we both told each other we loved one another and i told him how proud of him i was and how brave he had been. About 3am he lost colour and his breathing changed. For the first time in months he seemed reaxed and comfortable and his breathing was calm and effortless. Hard to beleive he had ever had such chronic breathing difficulties at all. We finally lost him at 1.45pm in the afternoon. If we had blinked we would have missed his passing it was that calm , but we had been watching him like a hawk for 5 days and nights running and noticed the slight change quickly. It was over in seconds. He gave one tiny breath and was gone. No pain, no struggle, no effort. We are the only ones struggling now............so strong , so brave, he fought this awful disease with everything he had. I hope this will put many minds at ease of how peaceful it can be if you get the right mix of morphine and midazolam. Icannot thank everyone enough from all of you on alsforums, district nurses, M.N.D nurses, hospice staff and G.P's. You've been great. Still very raw, my 10 yr old is finding it tough as he was very close to Grandad. ...... and finally.........."Goodnight Dad, Rest In Peace, I love you"...xxxxx