My Son Chad

[Brenda Bowman]

Dear Chad, It has been a year April 2,2oo8 . I still can't believe you are not going to call. I wonder if I leaned on you too much. Talking about your brother, sometimes I think I did. I miss our talks. I miss your handsome face.I know that you are walking with Shane I can see you both smiling. I love you both so much and miss you both more that you can imagine. I remember you telling me that you didn't want to die. I couldn't say anything my heart was breaking . Did you really want to get married? I have my doubts about a lot of things.I love you , Mom

 

[sharona]

so sorry

Hi Brenda,
I can't believe it's been a year already.I know how hard it is to lose a son ,I lost mine to cancer in 2003 .God Bless You
Sharon

 

[Icanmanz]

Hi Brenda, just read your post. So sad, it drove me to tears. Bless your heart Brenda, and may your sweet Chad rest in peace. I, too, miss my dear son a whole lot. There are times when I wish he were here with us. I feel so cheated, because he was so young when he passed. It was a year ago on the 3rd of this month. His birthday is on June 18th, he would have been 40, I am planning on getting up real early in the morning on the 18th, and visit him the first thing in the morning. I have had this thought in my head, that I would like to be there before the gates open, and be there with my son as early as possible, and spend some time with him.

I remember when Chad passed, I am sorry to ask you again about his age. How old was he when he passed? Brenda, you take care of yourself, and God bless you. Our children are in Good Hands, they are pain free. I know it's hard. It is the hardest and saddest experience I have had.

Irma

 

[fiddleplayer51]

Brenda,
After reading this post from you I wanted to know who Chad was and get to know his story and struggle. This afternoon I have read all of his 57 posts and see that he was a phenomenal young man who was articulate and kind. He offered constructive comments and encouragement to others who were writing of their problems and fears even when he was suffering with his own illness and fears.
It's hard to imagine your pain. You've lost two sons, and though I don't know the circumstances of Shane's death, I urge you not to berate yourself for leaning on Chad after Shane's death. Actually after a death, it's a comfort to comfort someone else who is suffering grief over the same death. In other words, I would imagine that it was a comfort to Chad when you sought him out with your grief over Shane's death. I'm sure it helped Chad to grieve too.
You and your husband have twice been dealt such cruel blows, and for Chad to succumb so quickly after diagnosis even as you were still grieving over Shane's death seems especially cruel.
Nevertheless, on October 30th 2007 you posted the following:

"Hello Everyone, I lost my son Chad to Als. He went quickly (April2,o7) I am still in shock can't believe I won't be talking to him today. I was hoping maybe I could help someone out there. Brenda"

That's truly remarkable, Brenda, and it's easy to see that you instilled compassion in Chad through your example. Even in the midst of your own grief with the recent passing of your son six months earlier you were reaching out to others to give comfort.
I hope you can feel some comfort, Brenda, knowing that you raised children who could look beyond themselves and give of themselves for the benefit of others. From reading Chad's posts, I can see that many people benefitted from his manner and words. He was caring and had so much to give.
Thanks for posting, Brenda. May you find some peace as the years proceed.
All the best to you and your husband,
Jane

 

[CindyM]

Brenda- I was at the airport on the way to my grandson's Birthday party and decided to check my messages for one from Chad. His last words to me in a PM were "hang in there, Cindy." So I was concerned when there was no message. Then I came to the forum to learn of his passing. I sat in the airport and cried.

Now I am sitting at my desk, crying.

You were a great parent and raised a fine young man. We never met but he had a way of reaching out and touching our hearts. I am so sorry for your loss. Cindy