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Manhattanite

Distinguished member
Joined
May 10, 2015
Messages
209
Reason
Lost a loved one
Diagnosis
05/2015
Country
US
State
NY
City
New York
My husband passed away early this morning. He went to the bathroom in the middle of the night and fell. The disease had advanced to a point where it was difficult for him to breathe without the ventilator. Unable to get up and to breathe, he passed away. I hadn't heard anything and found him on the bathroom floor when I woke up. I am beyond heartbroken. I knew the end was approaching but I thought I still had one more season to share with him.

The same stubbornness brought on by FTD made him refuse the bedside commode we had provided for him. I guess this was meant to happen sooner than later.

I am proud of the care I took of him, of all the research I did, of the decisions I made. I don't regret a single thing. Yesterday at work I thought to myself, "What will I think of all of this in 10 years? What would my future self tell me right now?" I wrote down: "Shower him with love, tell him how much you love him, and you will never regret it." So last night after I put him to bed I hugged him, I kissed him on the nape of the neck and on his head, and I said how much I loved him. So grateful that I did this because it was a beautiful goodbye. Remember this with your PALS: you never know when the end can come.

Thank you to everyone for your posts and for the information. What I learned about hospice here made our lives infinitely better. This is a horrible disease that has stolen my future and my love. I will never be the same but I am also a more compassionate person.

Godspeed my husband. I will love you for eternity.
 
My deepest sympathies Manhattanite for your sudden loss of your husband. Your love and commitment to him shone through all of your posts. Kate
 
I am so very sorry for your loss. You were a most loving and faithful spouse and care partner. I am glad that you had such a beautiful goodbye.

May you be comforted by loving memories and the knowledge he is free
 
I am so sorry for the loss of your beloved husband. What a shock for you. You wrote beautifully with such wise words to all of us. May God give you peace.

Laurel
 
Your love has always shone through when you posted here. I am glad you can acknowledge the amazing and loving care you provided for your husband. I am so sorry it was sooner than you expected. I wish you and your family peace.
 
Wishing you peace and comfort. What a beautiful reminder, thank you.
 
oh, I am so sorry that it went this way and that you had to find him on the floor. I hope you find peace with all the horror that FTD adds onto ALS.

We just cannot get across to them what safety means, and you can be completely proud of your care for your PALS. As CALS we advocate for the one we love, we cannot save them, we cannot control anything except loving them. I'm so grateful for you that you learned this and acted on it!

You have done this every step of the way and I wish I could hug you now xxxx
 
Very sorry to hear this news, Manhattan, but, as you say, you have nothing to regret. And yes, I think we are all different people in some respect, once on the other side of this.

Much peace and strength to you in the meaningful future that I know you will craft.

Best,
Laurie
 
So sorry to hear of the sudden loss of your husband! Your post was absolutely beautiful and a great reminder to us all. May peace be with you and your family.
 
I am so sorry for the loss of your husband. Your posts were filled with love for him and you were an amazing CALS who inspired me to be a better CALS. You are in my thoughts and prayers.

Sharon
 
That was a beautiful post. So sorry for your loss Manhattanite. Thinking of you.

Angie
 
So very sorry. May you both find peace.
 
So very sorry for your loss. Your love for him shone through in every post you wrote. I am sure he felt that love.

Wishing you peace.
 
So very sorry for your loss. You were a wonderful CALS and love. You also helped me several rooms with your posts. I only wish you peace and recovery.

Hugs!
 
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