Mom is free now

[Maryl08]

My mom passed away today after being diagnosed with ALS last December. 26 years will never be enough time for us to have together but I am happy she is free now.

After she lost her ability to walk she was so miserable. I believe that is when she decided it was time to go. She passed away 1 month after that. I'm glad the worst part of it for her was the shortest part of this whole journey.

Since being diagnosed we all moved into a town home together (my sister, my boyfriend and I). We took her on trips, went to the zoo, celebrated holidays, cooked together.. Shared many beautiful memories together.

I lost my dad 5 years ago but somehow losing my mom is even tougher. She was my best friend, my biggest supporter and nothing can ever replace the love of a mother. She was never selfish, loved me when I didn't deserve it, sympathized even when it was trivial.. the kindest mom anyone could ask for.

I can only hope to be half as good of a mom she was one day. She gave up her life and family to come to the states to raise us and be our mom. I am so glad I could give her everything I had this last year. Still it will never be enough to repay her for everything she's done. She deserves so much more than this life has given her.

This forum has been a huge support for me. I often came here to ask questions when I was scared or feeling hopeless. Thank you everyone for helping us through this tough journey. I have a feeling I will still visit often.

Lots of love,

Mary

 

[affected]

I am so very sorry for your loss Mary.

She is free now, and you have a lot of grieving to do.

I'm so glad you felt supported here, and you are still part of the family if you need us xxxx

 

[soonerwife]

So sorry for your loss Mary but I am glad your mom is finally free. HUGS!

 

[lgelb]

I'm glad to hear your mom went out in such close proximity to the activities you shared, Mary, and that you can see your loss in that light. Much peace and strength to you and your sister.

Best,
Laurie

 

[scaredwifetx]

Happy that she is at peace but sorry for you. Hugs!

 

[pittsburghgal]

Mary, I am so sorry for the loss of your Mom. You and your family made her days very special.
You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers.

Sharon

 

[Maryl08]

Thank you all for the kind words. My heart has been broken these past few days. I thought about taking a trip but realized I will be so sad no matter where I go and it would just be a waste of money. Throughout the day everything reminds me of my mom, whether it's something we use to do together or something happens that I wish she could be here to see..

Our lease here ends in mid-January and I am looking for a new place to live. This place reminds me too much of what we've been through here and it hurts. I can't go into her old room and see it empty. Eventually I'm going to need to sort through her stuff. I have a feeling I'll be renting a storage space somewhere for some of her old stuff. I'm not sure if I can get rid of her things just yet.

I've also been having to contact my family in China to let them know what's happened. Since I can't speak very much Chinese it has been difficult as you can imagine. My mom had not wanted me to tell anyone about her illness but she is very loved by her nieces, nephews and friends in China.

One step at a time.

 

[scaredwifetx]

I am so sorry Mary. I lost my mother to cancer in Feb. It took a few weeks for me to be able to walk into the conversion we had for her. I could feel her spirit for a couple of months. It was so hard losing her while watching what was happening to Steve with ALS.

Its been nine months and I have come to terms with losing her. I know she is in peace and free from her suffering.

Take time to deal with the loss. There is no hurry to do anything you dont feel up to. You wi cry tears of sorrow
Going through her processions but you will also remember good times.

You will always miss your mom but in time you will be able to think of her without remembering this disease and the toll it took on you both.

Hugs. I know how tough this is and you will be in my thoughts.

 

[JimInVA]

Mary,

I'm sorry for your loss. I can only imagine the joy it must have given her to be able to continue to share moments and make memories, even through her illness, with you and your boyfriend. How proud she must be of you. I hope you are able to find the path through the grief that currently surrounds you.

I wish you well...

Jim

 

[affected]

Mary this is one thing I do know - there is no right or wrong way to grieve, there is only your way. You do what you need, in the time that you need to do it.

You don't have to solve all those things today, so just please be very kind to yourself and let yourself grieve. Knowing they are free of ALS does not make the horrible hole in our lives any smaller.

 

[sunandsea]

Mary, I'm so sorry for your loss. Losing a mother is devastating and watching them suffer with ALS is also. It sounds like you were a wonderful daughter and friend these past several months. I pray that your memories will give you comfort in the coming days Hugs to you and your sister.

 

[starente15]

I'm so sorry for your loss Mary. I hope that memories of good times spent together will carry you through and provide some comfort.

 

[frankb]

it is so touching that you were so close to your mother, specially for the past year. Those are memories that you will treasure for the rest of your life. Thanks for sharing.