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Hospice Saying They Need Him at Facility!

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brooksea

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I cannot believe this!

I got a call late this afternoon after the attending nurse had visited. They want my husband at their facility, as they feel they cannot manage his problems at our home. They feel he needs monitoring, as they change the delivery of formula and his meds to try and control his symptoms!

I am freaking out! Not just about them telling me that, but about my husband agreeing to it! He must be in such misery...

He told me tonight that he loved me and not to let them keep him there. Then he wanted to see me smile... He then said no, a real smile! How could I do that?

I'm very worried and wondered if anyone else has had this experience...
 
Oh crap Cj, your mind must be doing flip flops. I did not realize they had faculties to stay at. Wish I could say or do something to help you. Pm me or call me tomorrow evening if you get time..Hugs
 
CJ , that sound like good news. Keep us posted.
 
There was a point where the hospice nurse asked my husband if he would like to be hospitalized to manage his symptoms. He said no. She reaffirmed with him that he wanted to stay home - he said yes. Then she started filling syringes with the oral morphine.
I knew before she asked that the end was near in fact i told her this was the "next thing" not a respiratory infection.
Ask the hospice what the situation is, don't be shy. Maybe with the changes in meds and everything they have good reason to want him at the facility. Sounds like your husband is clear about going in while the meds get straightened out and then home.
 
Oh CJ, Don't freak out, this could be a good thing, getting his meds under control, and being watched closely. Also a break for you to regroup and rest. Like you said to your husband, you won't leave him there. Think of it as temporary. That should ease your mind some. You are in my thoughts and Prayers
 
Maybe it's finally sinking in for him just how much pressure you've been under because of his resistance. I'm with the "this is a positive thing" choir concerning this. If a lot of changes need to be made, inpatient is the way to go.
 
Well, I've packed everything up (that I could) and made a list of stuff I haven't, that he will need. I'm so proud that my brother has agreed to help me!

We'll be off in the morning, after I take our son to school. My brother will meet us at our home and help me load his computer and such.

I'm very thankful that my brother will help us. I'm scared about leaving my husband at the hospice facility, though!

I have to convince myself this is good and he will return home! :D
 
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Wow CJ. This is a scarey thing... but may also be a great thing. I'd just say make sure you read EVERY TINY LITTLE THING printed on any paperwork you have to sign. Make sure they all know that you reserve the right to take him out of there when he or u feels the need for him to come home. Dont even know if they can do stuff like that, but just in case...
 
CJ, I hope you find some peace in your decision. You must! Thinking of you. Yasmin
 
Thoughts and hugs being sent your way....I've already PM'd ya!
 
Use the time to rest. This could be very good for you and your son. Thinking about you.
 
CJ,

i ditto lizs post. Reas and reread abd asjk your brother to read. When i was in the nursding home, they woild not release me unlesd we had home healyh in plaxe. They threstened to get socialk services inbolved and hace me renoved from muy familys ckare.

Sending hugs,

Kimberly
 
CJ, it is not uncommon to have patients temporarily admitted to the hospice facility to monitor adjustments to medication etc. This gives the staff the opportunity to observe the effect of any treatment and make the necessary changes in a timely manner rather than waiting for the next scheduled nursing visit. They're able to address problems as they arise. I know it's difficult for you to let go for a bit after providing 24/7 care for such a long time. You'll be able to stay with him at the center as much as you want to and as the care of your son allows. Try to look at this as a bit of respite for yourself and also an opportunity for the Hospice staff to get to know your husband as a person before a crisis situation evolves. We were fortunate that some of the inpatient aides had been to our home to handle some of the ADL's for my Mom whenever the facility had a low census so she at least had a few familiar faces. She was a bit reluctant on her first overnight trial visit but after that felt confident in the care she would receive. We were more confident also when the need arose to have her stay with them for a longer period. Good luck sweetie, it's only temporary.
 
Good luck to you and many blessings!
 
Hang in there, Brooksea. Prayers and good wishes for you both. I agree with ohers that are telling you to break and let hospice help you both.
 
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